


The Light in the Darkness

by Oh_Grey_Warden



Series: Ariya Trevelyan and Cullen Rutherford [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Awkward Romance, Depression, Dragon Age Lore, Dragon Age Spoilers, Dragon Age: Inquisition Spoilers, Drama & Romance, Drunken Flirting, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Nightmares, Public Sex, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-04-03 06:58:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 37
Words: 50,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4091374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oh_Grey_Warden/pseuds/Oh_Grey_Warden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ariya Trevelyan has become the leader of the Inquisition. Ariya never expected her life to become like this as she has fallen for the Commander but he doesn't give any indication he has feelings for her. A series of events happen to her which brings them together, he becomes the light in her darkness.</p><p> </p><p>**Warning: There are graphic rape scenes in this series. (Starting at chapter: 9)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Inquisitor

It’s been 5 months now since Ariya became the Inquisitor, leader of the Inquisition. This was something she never expected. She was the daughter of Bann Travelyan and a mage of the Circle. When the Circles of Thedas began to fall she decided to leave before things got out of hand. She knew this was a risk but being an apostate was her only option. She knew she couldn’t come home and had to abandon her family. She came across the conclave by accident but the last thing she could remember was climbing out of the Fade. She became their prisoner now their trusted leader. Despite her title, Ariya felt at home at Skyhold, she was surrounded by her friends who quickly became her family and have gathered wonderful followers and recruits.

 

Despite the hard work and responsibility she could always find comfort in daily visits with her Commander, Cullen. He was kind and gentle but knew to be professional with her. Ariya knew he was an ex-Templar but he always felt comfortable around her. With every meeting Ariya’s feelings began to grow and change, but she knew there was no way she could form a relationship with him other than a friend. She had started to flirt with him before Haven fell, but he always seemed to shake it off or avoid her remarks. She decided to accept their fate and did not press into her feelings any more than she should. 

 

\--

 

Ariya woke up to a knock on her door. She bunched her red hair atop her head and tied it up to keep it out of her face and quickly threw on her robe to cover her naked body and ran down the stairs to answer the door. To her surprise it was Cullen. He rarely visited her in her quarters unless it was an absolute emergency. 

 

“Sorry to disturb your rest Inquisitor, I just need to discuss something with you.” He glanced at her robe as it wasn’t fully closed. He could see olive skin peaking though the slit and the outline of her breasts. Her nipples were harden and poking through the thin silk fabric. He blushed then averted his eyes to the ground.

 

Ariya stepped aside to let him in and they walked up the stairs together and headed to her desk. She took a seat behind the desk as Cullen stood in front of it holding his clipboard. She could see that he was blushing and wondered what he was embarrassed about.

 

“So what do I owe this pleasure Commander?” Cullen rubbed the back of his neck and gave an awkward cough then placed the clipboard on her desk.

 

“I… There have been some reports of Samson and his Red Templars. I know we have sided with the mages but I would feel better knowing Samson and his men are caught before they cause any more damage.” He pointed to the clipboard to show her notes a scout found. Ariya picked the board and began to read the report. It seems that there were sightings of Red Templars along the Storm Coasts. She placed the board back down and looked up at Cullen.

 

“We will stop them Cullen. You have my word.” She paused and got up from her chair. She circled her desk and stood in front of Cullen. She noticed his eyes would avert down then back up to her face.

 

“I will head out today and I will bring Bull, Varric, and Cassandra with me. Bull is familiar with the area we will cover more ground this way and I believe we can bring this group down before the head off.” She looked back down at the clipboard. “We will find Samson.” She turned back and Cullen gave her a nod. They stood there in silence and looked at each other. She could see he had dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep. His stubble had grown out more since the last time she saw him and it made him look older. Without thinking Ariya reached out and placed her hand on his cheek. Cullen began to blush as he was surprised.

 

“You look tired Cullen. Maybe you should take a quick nap.” His amber eyes were fixated on her lips. 

 

“I… I am alright. I’ll be a lot better once Samson is brought down.” He took her hand in her and brought it back down to her side. “I… I should get going. Should I send to word for your party?” Cullen picked up the clipboard and began to walk to her door. Ariya felt her heart thumping in her chest. Did she really just do that?

 

“Inquisitor?”

 

“Oh yes! Yes please. Let them know I will meet them at the front gates. Thank you Commander.” He nodded and left her room quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please know I love Cullen a lot, he's an awkward turtle XD I love him <3


	2. Cruel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya and the rest of her party arrive at the Storm Coasts to discover something horrible.

Ariya headed down the stone stairs in the courtyard and she should see her party members waiting at the front of the gate along with Cullen. Odd, Cullen usually doesn’t wait to see her off. She picked up her steps and headed down the stairs faster. The Iron Bull saw her rushing over and he began to shout.

 

“Boss! Can you be any slower?!” 

 

“Only for you Bull!” Ariya teased. She looked over to see Cullen approach her.

 

“Inquisitor before you go… I.. I thought I’d wish you luck on your journey.” He looked down at his feet as he ran his hand threw his blonde curly hair. He began to blushed and looked back up at her. Ariya could feel her face burn and she smiled at him. This was the first time he’s actually came to see her off. She placed her hand on his arm and gave him a nod.

 

“Thank you Commander.” She gripped him tighter and Cullen moved a little closer to her. He lifted his other hand and placed it on top of hers. 

 

“Be safe.” He whispered then gave her a soft smile. Ariya could feel herself getting lost in his amber eyes. They stood there in a silence until they heard Varric give a loud cough. Ariya pulled her hand away quickly and turned to face everyone. She knew her face was beat red by the way everyone was grinning at her. Cassandra rolled her eyes and started to walk out the front gate. Ariya began to follow her, then Varric, and finally Bull.

 

“So are you two banging yet or what?” Bull asked as he playfully tapped her arm. Ariya shot him a look gritting her teeth.

 

“No one is banging anyone, Bull.” She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. 

 

“That’s not true. I’ve already bedded half the girls at the tavern.” Ariya rolled her eyes and Varric snorted. “But on a serious note, I knew you had a thing for the Commander.” Bull continued to poke at Ariya and she let out a huge sigh.

 

“Look, there’s nothing going on between us. We’re just good friends, like you and me, or Varric and I.” Bull and Varric shot each other looks then looked back at Ariya.

 

“Right you keep telling yourself that boss.” Ariya began to walk faster to catch up with Cassandra. What Bull said wasn’t a complete lie. She has a thing for Cullen, but he doesn’t. Or does he?

 

\--

 

After a few nights they finally made it to the Storm Coasts. It was raining heavily and it was cold as usual. Ariya wrapped her arms around her body to try and warm herself up. She glanced down at the map in front of her as the scout ran his report to her. After pin pointing the location of the sighted red Templars they headed out. As the approached the cave all they found were abandoned camps. Ariya knelt down beside the fire pit and saw embers still glowing on the charred wood. 

 

“We just missed them. Take a look around maybe we can figure out where they’ll be heading next.” As the party began to scatter around Ariya went into one of the tents. She found a crate filled with empty bottles. She grabbed one of the bottles and pulled the cork from it and gave it a sniff. It was Lyrium. She looked around and found a bunch of torn up clothing on top of the bed roll. From what was left of the clothing she could tell it was dress. As she exited the tent she saw Cassandra and asked if she found anything.

 

“Just a bunch leftovers from their meals and empty wine bottles.” Cassandra raised her eyebrow at Ariya as she turned to look at the tent behind her. “Inquisitor are you alright?” 

 

“I’m fine. I just found a bunch of empty lyrium bottles and…” She trailed off and gripped her staff. “And what looks to be remaining pieces of a dress.” Cassandra’s face hardens. “I think they took someone hostage or…” Bull called out from further back in the cave. Cassandra and Ariya quickly darted in Bull’s direction to find him kneeling in front of something. When Ariya moved closer she could see a naked body covered in blood, it was a young woman. Bull turned to face Ariya and held up a staff.

 

“Shit…” Varric whispered to himself. Ariya knelt down beside the body to examine it. She could see her wrists and ankles were marked red and covered with multiple stab wounds. This girl was held here against her will.

 

“We should at least burry the body.” Cassandra threw a blanket over the mangled body and Bull gentle picked her up. Ariya felt rage slowly take over her body. How could anyone do this to an innocent person, let alone a young girl? Back when she was in the Circle she knew some Templars were a little rough against some mages but could they be this cruel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've played Dragon Age 2 you know about the whole Mage uprising. As much of a loon Anders was I agreed with him. The mages were treated horribly and were kept like slaves almost. I know you shouldn't abuse power but what the Chantry was doing wasn't right.
> 
> Also my Inquisitor's name was inspired by Arya Stark from A song of Ice and fire/Game of Thrones. One of my favourite characters, she's a badass.


	3. A Little Bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya asks for some advice from Dorian about advancing her relationship with Cullen.

It’s been days since they’ve returned from the Storm Coasts, and all Ariya could think about were the young girl and her mangled body. She knew if they didn’t capture Samson and his Red Templars soon there would be a bigger price to pay. Ariya decided to draw a bath and to try and think up another plan. She quickly removed her clothes and stepped into the steaming bath. As she lowered her aching body into the tub she let out a sigh of relief. It’s been some time since she’s actually just sat in the tub and relaxed, she would usually give herself a quick wash and head out her door. Ariya dunked her head into the water and held herself there for a few seconds. When she came up she saw Dorian standing in the door way.

 

“I hope you weren’t trying to drown yourself in there.” Ariya rolled her eyes.

 

“Do you ever knock?”

 

“I did, but clearly you didn’t hear me.” Ariya gave him a grin and Dorian moved his way into the room and sat at the edge of the bath. “A little bird told me a secret about you.” Ariya raised her eyebrows as she looked at the Tevinter. 

 

“A bird or a Bull?” Dorian let out a laugh and crossed his arms.

 

“Fair enough. I do have to say you do have good taste in men; the Commander is a sight for sore eyes. “

 

“Yeah well he’ll just continue to be a sight for me.” Ariya sank into the water until it reached her chin. “Is it really that obvious that I have a… “thing” for him?” Dorian let out another laugh and patted Ariya’s knee 

 

“My dear it’s obvious to a blind bat that you have a “thing” for him.” Ariya sighed.

 

“Well, you’re good with men, how can I get his attention.” Dorian raised his eyebrow.

 

“I am good with men, but if you want to get Cullen’s attention I think you’re better off setting yourself on fire.” He had a point. It was nearly impossible to get Cullen to flirt back with Ariya, he would always change the subject or stop the conversation completely. Ariya stepped out of the tub and walked towards the towel sitting on the stone table. As she dried herself off she heard Dorian get up. “Listen dear, if you really want Cullen’s attention you’re going to have to be a little more forceful then what you’re currently doing.” As Ariya wrapped her body up in the towel she turned to face Dorian and gave him a confused look.

 

“So fire it is.” Dorian laughed and handed her one of her robes. Ariya smiled and took the robe from his hands and they both headed into her bedchambers. “But seriously, Dorian the only way I could is if I just walked up to him and, I don’t know, kiss him.” Ariya tied the robe up tightly and began to dry her red hair.

 

“Maybe you just need to do that.” Dorian walked towards her bookcase and began to pick out a few books. “Let me know when you and the Commander and kissing, I’ll see you tomorrow my dear.” Dorian waved his hand as he carried the books away. Ariya watched as he disappeared behind the banister and heard the door close. She threw herself onto her bed and stared up at the ceiling. Kiss Cullen? It’s not like she hadn’t thought about it before, she just thought it was inappropriate. Although every time she and Cullen ran troop plans in his tower she would always glance at his scared lips and wondered what it would be like. What he would taste like? Was he a good kisser? The thought of kissing Cullen began to take effect on her as she felt the wetness between her legs. 

 

\--

 

The next morning Ariya headed towards Cullen’s tower. She received a messaged that he requested to see her as soon as possible. Ariya knew he wanted to chat about the Templars movements, hopefully he found new information about their whereabouts. As Ariya walked across the battlements she looked down to see The Iron Bull and his Chargers sparing with each other. When Bull saw her Ariya gave him a wave, Bull glanced at Cullen’s tower then back at Ariya, gave a wink and thumbs up at her. Ariya rolled her eyes and walked faster, she could hear Bull’s booming laugh from there. 

 

As she approached the tower she gave a small knock and heard Cullen invite her in. Ariya stepped in to see him buried in paperwork. His eyes looked strained and she could tell he hasn’t been sleeping well again. Ariya stopped in front of his desk and when he glanced up at her, he practically jumped out of her chair.

 

“Inquisitor!” Cullen began to straighten out his desk then ran his hand through his hair.

 

“You wanted to see me?”

 

“Y-yes, it’s about the Red Templars. We have found more sightings. Our scouts have received a number of tips that there is a base somewhere in the Emprise Du Lion Mountains.” Cullen picked up his clipboard and circled around the desk to show Ariya the report. “I don’t believe this is the main base for where Samson is hiding, but I believe this is where the majority of them are hiding out.” As Cullen continued to explain Ariya took a quick glance to see how close he was standing next to her. She could smell peppermint tea on his breath. She found her eyes wondering towards his lips and began to think about her conversation with Dorian. 

 

“Inquisitor?” Ariya stepped back a little and felt her face lit up.

 

“Uh… Yes! We’ll leave soon as possible.” Cullen gave a puzzled look then looked back at the report.

 

“Alright, I think its best that maybe I should come along a few days after you are out there. I want to be there when you find their base…” Cullen began to grip the clipboard hard and scrunched up his face in anger. Ariya stepped closer and placed her hand on top of his gloved one. Cullen loosened his grip and looked at her.

 

“I promised you we would find them, didn’t I?” Ariya smiled at him and he gave one back. They stood there and Ariya found herself thinking about Dorian and their conversation about kissing Cullen. “Maybe you just need to do that.” Dorian’s words echoed in her head and on instinct Ariya began to lean into Cullen. His face began to flush red but he didn’t move away, he inched closer to her lips. Ariya could hear her heart pounding loudly in her chest she thought he may her it. As they inched closer Ariya shut her eyes and felt the fur on his armor brush against skin. Then a loud knock was at the door.

 

“Commander Cullen, report for you.” Ariya and Cullen moved away from each other as fast they could. Cullen let out an awkward cough and headed for the door while Ariya turned to face his desk. She heard Cullen thank the scout and walked back towards her.

 

“Uh… I should head off; I have a meeting with Leliana.” Ariya began to back away towards the door while Cullen looked at the floor and rubbed the back of his neck.

 

“Oh… O-of course. P-please let me know when you are ready to head off.” Ariya gave him a nod and quickly darted out his tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those recruits of Cullen make me laugh especially THAT one guy who has terrible timing. I hope you're all enjoying the story so far ^^


	4. Peppermint Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian gives a little "encouragement" for Ariya to make a move on Cullen.

Ariya sat on top of the grand staircase looking out at the rest of the Inquisition. It was nearly nightfall; she looked up to watch the sun set behind the castle walls. She heard someone walk towards her then took a seat next to her.

 

“So did you kiss him?” She turned to see Dorian with an eager look on his face.

 

“Nope.” Ariya rested her head against her hands that were prompt up on her knees. She let out a sigh and looked towards Cullen’s tower. 

 

“So nothing happened at all?”

 

“We were just talking about what our next move would be then…” She trailed off and thought about how she almost kissed him. She could remember the scent of peppermint on his breath and the way he looked at her. 

 

“Ooooo! You’re blushing! So you did kiss him!” Dorian clapped his hands in excitement.

 

“No!” Ariya gave him a playful punch to his arm. “We were talking then I thought about what you said, so I was leaning in for a kiss and then he was leaning in as well then…” She trailed off and covered her face in embarrassment. 

 

“Then?!” Dorrian grabbed her shoulder and shook her and Ariya let her hands drop to her lap.

 

“His recruit stopped by.” Dorian slowly retracted his hand and look towards the sunset.

 

“Oh.” They both sat there in silence until Ariya let out a huge groan.

 

“Maybe I should just give up.” Dorian quickly turned to face her and shot her a stern look.

 

“No! You are not giving up.” Dorian got up and pulled Ariya along with him. He grabbed both of her shoulders and looked closely at her.

 

“You are the Inquisitor and my best friend. I am not letting you give up like this. Now I want you to march into his tower and tell that handsome man you want him.” Dorian turned Ariya’s body around and started pushing her towards Cullen’s tower. Ariya tried to run away but Dorian’s grip on her was too strong. Once the reach the door, Dorian gave a loud knock then ran away as quickly as he could before Ariya could turn around to grab him, Cullen opened the door.

 

“Inquisitor? Can I help you with anything?” Ariya watched as Dorian disappeared behind the door to Solas’ room. She quickly turned around to face Cullen and began to rock back and forth on her heel.

 

“I… I was wondering if you had time to talk… alone.” Ariya quickly glanced down at her feet in embarrassment. 

 

“Alone? I mean… O-of course.” Cullen gave a cough then gestured his hand towards the battlements. He began to walk and Ariya quickly followed him along. She looked at him and he began to rub the back of his neck. “It’s a… nice day.” 

 

“What?” Is he nervous? Ariya bit her lip and tried not to laugh. They stopped walking and he turned to face her, his face was turning red.

 

“I… There was something you wished to discuss?” Ariya looked behind him to see Dorian sitting on the steps watching them. He gave her a “go on” signal and she looked back at Cullen. She took a deep breath and before she could stop herself she practically spilled her feelings for him.

 

“Cullen… I… I care for you and…” She started to stumbled and covered her face with her hands. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Ariya quickly glanced up at him again and saw his face soften.

 

“You… you left the Templars but… could you trust mages? I mean… could you think of me as anything… more?” Cullen blinked and placed his hand on the back of his neck.

 

“I can, and I… I do… think of you and… what I might say in this sort of situation.” He cheeks got redder and they continued to walk along the battlements. 

 

“What’s stopping you?” Ariya tilted her head. So he did have feelings for her, but why didn’t he say anything? Was he embarrassed? Ashamed? Ariya began to panic and thought maybe this wasn’t a good idea. 

 

“You’re the Inquisitor. We’re at war. And you…” Cullen began to move closer to Ariya as he trailed off. “I didn’t think it was possible.” Ariya backed up until she hit the stone wall behind her. She shyly looked up at him and saw his amber eyes filled with desire.

 

“And yet… I’m still here.” Cullen inched closer to her and placed his gloved hand on Ariya’s hip, she felt her heart jump as he gripped her.

 

“So you are… It seems too much to ask…” Cullen was looming over her lips. Ariya felt her breath quicken and began to lean into him. “But I want to…” Cullen cupped her face. Ariya could feel his breath on her lips; she closed her eyes and inched closer.  
“Commander!” Ariya shot her eyes open as she heard the recruit walk up to them. She quickly turned her head and faced the other way as she heard Cullen let out an auditable groan. “You wanted a copy of Sister Leliana’s report.” She heard Cullen walk towards the young man, Ariya took a look to see the boy looking down at his clipboard unaware of the situation.

 

“What?!” Cullen growled at him as he inched closer. 

 

“Sister Leliana’s report? You wanted it without delay.” The boy held up his clipboard to show him and Cullen began to walk closer to him. Ariya thought he was going to eat the poor boy alive and she had to turn to hide the fact she was laughing. There was a long awkward pause and she heard the recruit begin to back away. “Or… to your office! Right!” She heard him run off and turned to face Cullen.

 

“If you need to-“ She was cut off and caught off guard when she felt Cullen’s lips against her. Ariya felt him wrap his arm around her and pulled her in tight until she felt his armor hit her chest. She looked at his closed eyes in shock. His kiss was tender and gentle, she could feel his stubble brush against her skin and Ariya finally let herself indulged in his kiss. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his body. Cullen began to press into her and Ariya could feel his arousal against her.

 

“I’m sorry… that was um… really nice.” Cullen looked down in embarrassment and saw him give a small grin. Ariya began to smile and leaned against the stone wall behind her.

 

“That… was exactly what I wanted.” Ariya shot him a sly grin and he gave a small laugh. 

 

“Oh. Good.” He leaned in again and gave her another heated kiss. Ariya wrapped her arms around neck and pulled him. She could taste his peppermint tea and let out a small moan. Cullen ran his hands through Ariya’s red hair and broke their kiss. “Well… maybe we can continue this later?” He planted a kiss on her forehead and headed back into his tower.

 

Ariya felt her heart flutter and placed her hand on her lips. He knows exactly how to kiss a woman and was better than what she ever imagined it would be. She laughed to herself and began to walk towards the stairs. Unaware of her surroundings she headed for her chambers but saw Dorian standing on top of the stairs. Ariya looked up at him and saw him with a wide grin on his face.

 

“Let’s get some tea and you can spare me all the details. From what I saw that looked like one hell of a kiss.” He grabbed Ariya’s hand and they quickly headed for her quarters. 

 

“I think we should get some peppermint tea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say Cullen's romance scenes are the sweetest things ever. He's so precious xD and that first kiss was so cute and hilarious thanks to that poor recruit. Also in this playthrough (like most of my PTs) Dorian is my Inquisitor's best friend next to The Iron Bull. ^^


	5. White Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya prepares for her journey to Empise Du Lion Mountains while Cullen decided to bring the Inquisitor a gift.

It was time to head out for the Inquisition to head to the Emprise Du Lion Mountains. Ariya began to pack her traveling bag with health and lyrium potions in her storage room. As she walked out she saw Cullen standing with his arms behind him. Ariya looked up surprised and dropped her bag. All of her potions and herbs came falling out and a few potions rolled under her bed.

 

“Damn it!” Ariya knelt down and began to pick up the mess. Cullen joined her and started to hand her everything he picked up. 

 

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to startle you.” Ariya took the potion from his hand and smiled at him. When the finished cleaning up Ariya placed her bag on her bed and turned to face Cullen. He had his back to her and picking something up from the table in front of him. He turned back around still having his hand behind his back and walked closer to her.

 

“You don’t have to be sorry; I just wasn’t expecting anyone in my room.” Ariya tucked her curly red hair behind her ear and glanced up at him shyly.

 

“I did knock, but you never answered.” 

 

“It seems to be a habit of mine.” Ariya tried to look behind Cullen to see what he was hiding from her. Cullen quickly shifted his weight and rubbed the back of his neck.

 

“I… I… um… I brought you something.” Cullen began to blush as he swung his arm around to show the item he was holding, it was a single white rose. Ariya looked at its soft white petals and its long green thorny steam. Cullen averted his eyes to the ground and his blush grew brighter, Ariya took the flower from him and held it to her chest. 

 

“Cullen… This… is so beautiful, thank you.” Ariya felt her heart race; she has never been courted this way by any man before. She has been with different men when she was at the Circle, but none were this romantic. 

 

“I… I just wanted to show what… y-you mean to me.” Cullen gave a shy smile and inched closer to her. He placed his hand on her elbow to pull her in for a kiss. Ariya began to move towards his body and as she moved her hand that was holding the rose, a thorn pricked her thumb. Ariya squeaked and dropped the rose and looked at her hand to see the thorn drew blood. She bent down to grab the rose and placed it on the bed. She began to suck on the wound to try and soothe the pain.

 

“Are you alright? I should have had those thorns taken off before I gave it to you.” Cullen took her hand and studied the wound on her thumb. “Does it hurt?” Ariya gave a nod and he began to kiss her hand gently. Ariya felt her temperature begin to rise as Cullen held and caressed her hand. “Is that better?” Ariya nodded again and this time she began to lean in to find his lips. She closed her eyes as she moved closer and finally felt his soft lips against hers. As she tilted her head she felt his stubble scratch her skin. Cullen slowly began to wrap his arms around Ariya’s curves and held her close. She could feel herself hit against his chest plate and wish she could feel his body against hers. 

 

Ariya wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through his blonde curls. They began to move backwards and Ariya felt the edge of her bed hit her. She felt her heart jump and begin and wondered how far Cullen wanted to go. Without breaking their kiss, Ariya began to lie on her bed as Cullen crawled over her body. She could feel his hardness press against her as he gently placed his body over hers. As they broke their kiss Ariya studied his face as she continued to stroke her hair. Since she had joined the Inquisition she had always desired Cullen in many different ways, but she never imagined having him in her bed within a day of just starting their relationship. Cullen turned his head slightly and gave a kiss on her wound on her thumb.

 

“I take it, its feeling better now?” Cullen gave her a sly grin. Ariya began to laugh and placed a kiss on his nose. 

 

“I am, thanks to my handsome Commander.” She smiled brightly and Cullen began to blush. He gave a small laugh and moved in for another kiss. Ariya felt at peace for the first time in a long time. She had been drowning in stress and work ever since Corypheus attacked them at Haven, and on top of that having the Templars join with him made things worse. But now, thanks to Dorian, she could find bliss in her new relationship with Cullen. The moment was spoiled when a recruit came knocking at her door.

 

“Inquisitor, message for you.” Cullen let out a groan and looked down at Ariya. She laughed and placed her hands on his cheeks.

 

“Come on Commander, we must attend to our duties, we’ll continue this again later.” She planted a kiss on his forehead and he crawled off of her. Cullen held out his hand and lifted Ariya to her feet. Ariya quickly made her way down the stairs and took the message from the recruit. When she returned to her chambers she saw Cullen clipping the thorns off the rose with a dagger. 

 

“Just in case, I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself again.” He held up the thornless rose and placed it in an empty vase on her desk. He made his way across the room and took Ariya into his arms. “Before I go I need to know which members of the Inquisition you would like to bring along with you to the Mountains today so I can send recruits to gather them. I should have asked you yesterday but I was… distracted.”   
Ariya giggled and began to think who she wanted with her.

 

“Send for Dorian, Blackwall and Sera. Let them know to be ready before sun down and meet in front of the main gates.” Cullen gave her a nod and a quick kiss on top of her head. He began to head for the stairs when he turned to face her again.  
“I will see you before sun down.” He smiled and headed out the door. Ariya walked over to her desk and took the white rose into her hand. 

 

She held it up to her face and smelled the beautiful flower. She was actually happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the Cullen romance so much UGH stop being cute! lol


	6. Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A snow storm hits the party as the head out on their journey. Ariya and Dorian share a tent and discuss their relationships.

They were about a day away from the mountains until a snow storm blew by them. Ariya decided it was best to make camp and hope the storm would clear out in the morning. She sat alone in her tent reading a book she borrowed from Cassandra, Swords and Shields. It came as surprise to know Cassandra enjoyed romantic novels and to be reading one of Varric’s tales. As she turned the page she head her tent flap open up and Dorian popped through.

 

“Ugh! Did I mention I hate snow?” He began to brush off the snow off her styled hair and cloak. Ariya returned to her book and started the next chapter. As Dorian made his way towards her and saw what she was reading he let out a groan. “Oh no, not you too, didn’t I tell how dumb that book actually made me?”

 

“Well some of us actually enjoy the dumb genre.” Ariya closed the book and placed it beside her. She grabbed an extra blanket and handed it to Dorian who was shivering. “Do you want some hot tea? I just made some.” Dorian gave her a nod and Ariya began to pour him a cup. 

 

“So, I noticed you and the Commander were whispering sweet nothings to each other when we left Skyhold.” Dorian raised his eyebrow at her as he took the cup from her hand. Ariya shook her head and laugh as she poured a cup for herself. 

 

“We were just saying goodbye to each other. No big deal.” Ariya took a sip of her tea and savored the peppermint flavor; it was her new favourite flavor. Dorian began to nudge her arm and gave her a sly grin.

 

“A little bird told me that the Commander found his way into your bed chambers.” Dorian quickly took a sip of his tea keeping his eyes fixed on Ariya. She scrunched up her face and began to glare at him.

 

“Do you and Bull ever stop spying on me?” 

 

“Well we can’t have sex all day my dear.” Ariya rolled her eyes and poured more tea into her cup. “So what happened? Did you and Cullen…?”

 

“No. He’s actually a gentleman.” She began to smile as she stared into her tea cup. She turned to look at Dorian who was practically trembling in anticipation. “He gave me a rose.” She began to giggle to herself and felt her heart flutter at the thought of his sweet gesture. 

 

“So nothing else happened? No sex?” Dorian placed the cup on the ground.

 

“No! I mean we ended up kissing while on my bed… and he was on top of me.” Ariya began to blush and Dorian turned to face her in excitement. “But we couldn’t go any further thanks to the recruit again.”

 

“Again? What a shame.” Dorian gave a huff and grabbed the canister to pour himself more tea. 

 

“Besides it’s not like we would have had sex then, I mean we just started out relationship. We can’t do that, can we?”

 

“Oh my sweet darling you can, just look at me and Bull, well that actually happened because we were drunk, but still.” Dorian placed the canister in front of him and grabbed his cup. “Cullen seems like the type who would be a good lover.” Ariya looked at him curiously, she had day dream about making love with Cullen and wondered how he would be in bed. “He does have a good body to begin with, I’ve seen him training in the yard a couple of time. Sometimes without his armor…” Dorian trailed off and began to picture Cullen shirtless and Ariya gently smacked his arm.

 

“Imagine your own man not mine.” Dorian gave a laugh and patted Ariya’s leg.

 

“Oh relax, no harm has come from staring, and besides I enjoy Bull’s physique a lot more than your lion.” Ariya smiled and wrapped her body up in her blanket to try and warm herself up. “Hmm you know Cullen seems like a man who… carries a large sword, if you know what I mean.”Ariya face began to turn red and she quickly crawled over to her bed roll.

 

“Okay! Time for bed!”

 

“What?! I’m just saying.” Dorian started to laugh with himself as he headed for his bed roll beside hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XD Don't tell me you don't love Dorian. His dialogue and party banter are the best.


	7. Faded Into Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya and the party begin to move on the mountain. They must move quickly in order to plan the attack before Cullen arrives.

The storm finally passed and the party began to gather up their things. If they left early they could make it up to the mountains within the next few hours. Ariya had received word that Cullen and a few of his men have left Skyhold the night before and would meet up with them within 3 days. Ariya felt like a little giddy girl reading the report, even though it wasn’t a letter from him; she was excited to see her Commander again. Ariya began to dress in her robe and armor. As she reached for her boots Sera entered her tent.

 

“Is the Quizzy ready to go?” Ariya slipped into her boots quickly, threw her pack over her shoulder and grabbed her staff. 

 

“Yep! Let’s get moving before another storm hits us.” Ariya followed Sera out the tent and saw Blackwall standing outside. Dorian was sitting on a crate trying to straighten out the fabric of his clothing. “I just received word from Skyhold that Commander Cullen and a few of his recruits are heading this way and should be here within 3 days.”

 

“Quizzy’s all sticky with honey.” Ariya raised her eyebrow at her and Dorian began to laugh from behind her.

 

“I think she means you’re so excited for the Commander arrival.” Dorian stood from the crate and picked up his staff. Ariya began to blush and looked down at her feet.

 

“I-I’m not that excited. I… Look we should get going now; I don’t want us to be late.” Ariya picked up her staff and started walking towards the mountains.

 

“Right, don’t wanna be late for Commander’s Commanding!” Ariya turned to glare at her and Sera began to giggle. Ariya rolled her eyes at turned straight ahead. She started to smile to herself. She was excited, she missed Cullen, and she wanted to feel his arms around her curvy body. To feel his gentle lips against hers and taste every part of him on her body. Ariya picked up her steps and walked faster.

 

\--

 

As they reached the base of the mountain they couldn’t find anything. Either everything was in ruins or just covered in snow. There was no evidence or signs that the Red Templars were around. Blackwall suggested they just start hiking up the mountain path to continue the search and seek out vantage points. The walk up revealed many tunnels and hidden passage ways, there were too many to count. Ariya knew they were running out of time if they couldn’t report back to the scouts Cullen wouldn’t have an advantage to make an ambush. She needed to come up with a solution quick. 

 

“I think we should split up.” Ariya turned to her party to see what they thought of her idea.

 

“What? If we go our separate ways the Red Templars could ambush us, we don’t know how many are out here.” Dorian protested as he gripped his staff tighter. 

 

“I agree. If we all split up we may not be able to reach each other in time in case of an attack.” Blackwall looked into one of the tunnels and tried to see if it was empty. “Maybe we could go into groups of two? At least that way we have a better chance of defending ourselves.” Ariya looked up the mountain trail and saw how many routes they would have to take.

 

“Alright, Dorian and I will up north into these tunnels and you and Sera and take the lower ones. Take thirty minutes so search the tunnels and find anything, anything at all that might help us along. We will meet back here in front of the black pointed rock. If we don’t return, just come running, we’ll do the same for you.” Blackwall nodded and unsheathe his sword from his hilt. Sera took out her bow and walked towards Ariya.

 

“Quizzy, I know you don’t need me telling you about your business, but be careful, these are Templars, Red Templars, they won’t think twice on using their creepy powers on a little mage like you or Vinty over here.” Ariya gave her a nod and she ran after Blackwall.

 

Ariya and Dorian began to hike up the trail and entered the closest tunnel to them. It was too dark to see the further the entered. Ariya casted a small amount of fire from her hand to try to shine some light. As they turned into the twist of the tunnel they could see a small flicker of light at the other end. Ariya put out her spell and looked at Dorian; they began to walk slower as the inched closer to the light. The closer they got they could hear voices and a strange sound along with them. 

 

“The fuck are we doing out here honestly?”

 

“We were ordered to wait here. Trust me; I would rather be home.” Ariya and Dorian moved quickly behind some barrels. She peaked her head over to see two men sitting around a small fire while drinking some ale. Ariya took a closer look at the man who was facing her direction and could see the Templar symbol branded on his chest plate. She ducked back and gave a look at Dorian.

 

“Templars. Two of them.” 

 

“Are they armed?”

 

“I don’t see their weapons, but they appear to be drinking.” Ariya looked over the barrels again and saw one of them get up and walk around to the other side of the other Templar. He picked up a red gem that was glowing and pulsing light. It was red lyrium. How could anyone use this stuff? Varric told her about his encounter with it when he was back in Kirkwall, but she’s never seen it in person. Ariya knew they needed to stop them as soon as they could; she turned to Dorian and motioned to him to get ready to attack. He nodded and they both peaked over the barrels, but the Templars weren’t there anymore. They looked at each other confused and Dorian quickly sneaked by to the take a closer look. Ariya began to get up to join him but she felt a large hand grab her shoulder tightly. She tried to move away but she felt a large shock flowing through her body and felt all of her mana being drain. Ariya screamed until she hit the floor in agonizing pain. She heard Dorian calling for her as he casted spells at the two large men. All the noise around her began to drown out into a loud buzzing noise. Her vision began blurry and slowly faded into black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will say it now, they next chapter will be dark. I will put a warning on the actual chapter.


	8. The Pale Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya is interrogated by a Red Templar and Dorian's life is in her hands.
> 
>  
> 
> **Trigger warning: There is no rape scene in this chapter, but there is an indication that Ariya is going to be abused.**

Ariya slowly opened her eyes but her vision was still blurry. She could see someone moving around in front of her and another person on the other side of the room. She could still hear the buzzing noise in her ears but couldn’t make out what they were saying. She looked down at herself and saw she was stripped of her armor and in her clothing only. Her hands were clamp in chains and there was a piece of cloth tied around her mouth. 

 

“Well look at that, our little mage is waking up.” 

 

Ariya looked up at the man who was talking to her and her vision finally cleared up. It was a Templar, but not the same one from the tunnels. She looked around the room and realized Dorian wasn’t there with her. She began to panic and fear the worst happened to him. Did he get away? Did they capture him? Or was he dead? The Templar grabbed her arm and pulled her on her feet. Ariya stumbled as he dragged her closer to the other man who was sitting behind a wooden table. 

 

“Leave us.” 

 

The Templar who was standing behind her nodded at the man and quickly left the room. He got up from his chair and circled the table and stood next to her. He reached up and untied the cloth from her face. Ariya bit down and felt her heart rate begin to quicken. The man was at least a foot taller than her. His eyes were bloodshot and heavy purple bags sat under them. His brown hair was thin and it looked like it was receding from his hairline. His skin was a pale yellow and every wrinkle on his face was sagging. She could see the veins in his neck were a bright red; Ariya suspected it was from the red lyrium. Who was this man? Why was she still alive? If he didn’t want her dead, what did he want from her? 

 

“What’s a pretty mage like you, doing in a place like this?” 

 

Ariya didn’t answer but she kept her eyes locked on him as he returned to his chair behind the table. After a long silence, he brought he hands up to his face and let out a sigh. 

 

“Since you’re not answering I think it’s safe to say you’re an escaped mage or simply an apostate who wondering around. You know that’s a huge offence.” 

 

Ariya kept her mouth shut. He didn’t know who she was; maybe it was safer that way if she kept the Inquisition out of it. The Red Templars have seemed to side with Corypheus, if they knew they had the Inquisitor, she ran the risk of being sent to him. 

 

“You’re not a regular mage. Your hand, what kind of magic is that? Blood magic?” 

 

Ariya looked at her anchor and saw its light wasn’t glowing brightly as it usually was. She suspected the power of the rift was reacting to the holy smite that was placed on her earlier. She heard the chair scratched against the floor as the man got up slowly. He made his hands into fists and slammed them into the table. 

 

“Seems to me like you want to play it the hard way, alright we can play that game. Jantos!” 

 

The door opened and a Templar with long black hair came into the room. The side of his neck was burnt up and he had a large scar running across his face. 

 

“Bring the Vint here.” 

 

Ariya sighed with relief, he’s alive. Jantos returned with Dorian and pushed him into the room and made him stand beside Ariya. He had sweat on his brow and looked like he was in pain, she assumed they performed on holy smite on him. His hands were in chains, a piece of cloth tied around his mouth, and his armor was removed. 

 

“Now sweet thing, I’m going to ask you these questions again, and if you don’t answer them I’ll have Jantos here slit the Vint’s throat and bleed him dry.” 

 

Ariya clenched her stomach and felt her heart drop. She could see he meant it, what’s a Tiventer mage to him? Ariya turned to look at Dorian and he shot her a look of motioning her not to answer him. She quickly looked back at the pale man as he leaned into the table.

 

“Let’s start with something easy. What is your name?” 

 

Ariya glanced at Dorian again, if she told him who she was, he would know she was with the Inquisition, and with her knowledge of the Red Templar they have a strong connection with Corypheus, he could easily take the anchor back and kill her. She looked back at the pale man and he gritted his teeth.

 

“My name is… Nora.” Ariya looked down at the floor to try and avoid his gaze. She heard the pale man push off the table and began to pace back and forth.

 

“Nora what?” 

 

“Nora… Kendells.” Ariya began to shake; she knew her lies were beginning to fail her.

 

“Kendells? Remind me where do the Kendells hail from?” The pale man stopped paced and gripped his chair. Ariya’s heart was pounding, she grew up learning about the noble houses of Thedas, and she was mostly familiar with the noble houses of Fereldan. 

 

“D-Denerim.” She looked up at the pale man and saw his face harden. 

 

“Denerim you say?” He took a good long look at Ariya then glanced at Jantos. “You’re a noble girl? The daughter of the Arl of Denerim?” Ariya quickly nodded her head then looked down again. She wasn’t sure if he bought her lie, if he didn’t Dorian’s life was in danger. “Funny thing, I only remember the Arl’s son, I haven’t heard anything about him having a daughter.” She was caught, like a tiny little fish in a big pond, there was no escape. 

 

The pale man turned to Jantos and gave him a nod. The Templar drew his dagger and grabbed Dorian’s hair. He pulled his head back to expose his neck, Dorian began to panic and shake. Jantos took his blade and held it up to Dorian’s throat, he began to inch it closer to Dorian’s skin. Ariya had no choice, she knew if she didn’t reveal her true identity Dorian is dead.

 

“M-my name is Ariya Trevelyan, youngest daughter of Bann Trevelyan of Ostiwik. I… I’m the leader of the Inquisition.” Jantos froze and the pale man was wide eyed. Dorian protested through his gag but what was done was done. The pale man began to smile and looked at Jantos, they both gave a horrible laugh. 

 

“The Inquisition is led by a fucking mage?”

 

“Ser, what about the Vint?” Jantos grabbed Dorian by the hair again and pulled him against his body. The pale man brought his hands to his mouth and took a deep breath.

 

“Just kill him. We have no use for him.” Dorian began to struggle and Jantos started to drag him to the door. 

 

“No please! Please don’t kill him!” Ariya grabbed Dorian’s hands and tried to pull him back into the room. The pale man moved quickly around the table and grabbed Ariya by the waist. She was screaming but didn’t let go of his hands. “Please! Just keep me! I’ll tell you whatever you want! I’ll give you whatever you want! Just please don’t kill him!” She felt the pale man let go of her and told Jantos to stop. 

 

“Whatever we want eh?” She was crying now and shaking violently. “Alright… the Vint can go, no armor, no weapon, and he can stay in chains. Once he leaves our camp he’s all free game from there, that is if he can survive out there.” Ariya turned to the pale man and agreed to his terms, she heard Dorian screaming but Jantos dragged him out of the room. It was just her and the pale man.

 

\--

 

Ariya kept her eyes fixed on the pale man as he circled the table and sat in his wooden chair. She took a deep breath and tried to steady herself. Her wrists were still red after her chains were removed. She wasn’t sure how long she was standing there but the pale man didn’t ask her anything, he just sat and watched her. A million thoughts were going through her head. What could he want with her? She began to fear for her friends and those who are in Skyhold. They were her family, she was afraid he would use her to harm them. 

 

“Take off your shirt.”

 

His words were echoing in her head, her shirt? Ariya felt the hairs on the back of her neck begin to stand. She couldn’t move, it felt like someone casted winter’s grasp on her body. The pale man just stared at her waiting for her to do as he commanded. 

 

“No.” The pale man leaned back in his chair and his eyes were narrow. He looked at her like she had offended him. 

 

“No? We let your friend go; now it’s your turn to hold up your end of the bargain. Or I can send my men out on a mage hunt.” Ariya felt tears begin to well up behind her eyes and started to shake again. She was afraid. Afraid they would kill Dorian, afraid they would find the others, and afraid for herself. She knew exactly what the pale man wanted, her. Ariya slowly lifted her shaking hands and brought them to her chest. She fumbled against the buttons as she undid them one by one. Her tears were running down cheeks when she got to the last button and she slowly pulled her shirt off her body. 

 

As it hit the floor Ariya brought her arms around her body to attempt to cover herself up. She looked at the floor and tried to calm herself down. She heard the chair scratch against the wooden flood and the heavy footsteps walk closer to her. She quickly closed her eyes to try and stop the tears from running. She wanted to scream but she was too afraid to move fearing the pale man would hurt her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually hard to write and I know when I have to write the more violent/abusive scenes in the next chapter it will be difficult for me. I'm use to writing more "happy-go-lucky" types of stories, but I want to try at a more darker fic, so bare with me if the writing is a little weak.


	9. Disgusting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pale man takes advantage of Ariya.
> 
> **Warning: This chapter contains a rape scene and abusive language.***

Ariya felt his presence standing behind her trembling body. She felt his hot breath against her skin but he was not moving, not touching her. She wasn’t sure what he was doing but he stood behind her for a long while. Ariya still have her arms clutched around her body covering up her chest. She felt his hand brush through her red hair; he grabbed a handful and brought it against his sagging face. Ariya clenched her body up as he took a sniff her of hair. She wanted him to stop touching her, to stop looking at her, but she couldn’t move. The pale man dropped her hair and wrapped his arms around Ariya’s to find her hands. He took hold of her wrists and pulled them away from her chest. Ariya tried to fight him but his strength was stronger than hers. He brought her arms to her sides and gave her hands a light tap. 

 

She felt his rough fingertips begin to glide along the small of her back. Ariya shut her eyes and bit down. The pale man brought his fingers to the back of her breast band and began to unhook it slowly. Ariya’s heart was pounding hard in her chest, it felt like she was going to explode, but she couldn’t gather the courage to stop him. As the hooks came undone her breast band fell from her chest and her breasts were exposed. She tried to move her arms to cover herself but they didn’t react. The pale man placed his hands on her waist and ran them up along her curves. Ariya wanted to vomit, she wanted him to stop. He pulled her against his body and she could feel his arousal against her rear. 

 

“Now, will you be a good girl and do as you are told?” 

 

She could say no or just say nothing. If she agreed with him she knew he would use her body. Ariya didn’t want to submit without a fight, she wanted to turn around and hit him as hard as she could, but she knew she couldn’t. It had only been a few hours since Dorian was let free and they could easily find him and kill him. She had to submit for her friend’s safety and hers. Ariya made her hand into a fist and gave a nod. The pale man gave a small laugh and turned her around. Ariya could see in his dead looking eyes he wanted her, he desired her, but she could also see the power he held over her. 

 

He grabbed her arms and pulled her in. Ariya flinched as he covered his mouth over hers. She kept her eyes closed; she didn’t want to see his disgusting face. He forced his tongue into her mouth and had it wander around inside. He had a taste of ale on him and Ariya tried to move her head away but he was holding onto her tightly. When he pulled away from her face he grabbed her hair on the back of her head and pulled it back and forced her to look up. The pale man began to kiss and bite her neck and slowly made his way down to her breasts. Ariya kept her eyes shut and tried to let her mind wander somewhere else, she wanted to get out so badly. 

 

“Your fucking tits are gorgeous.” 

 

The pale man placed his hand over her breast and gave it a hard squeeze. Ariya yelped as he placed his mouth over her nipple. She could feel his tongue run over it and suck in her skin. She couldn’t take it anymore; Ariya brought up her hands and pushed him away as hard as she could. The pale man let go out her hair as he stumbled backwards and caught himself against the stone wall. He let out a laugh as he straightens himself up and looked up at her.

 

“So you like it rough sweetling?” 

 

He lounged forward and caught her before she could run for the door. He grabbed her by the hair and slammed her head into the wooden table. Ariya felt blood trickle down from her head as her vision got blurry. The pale man held her head down to force her body to bend over for him. She tried to break free from his grip but the more she struggled the more tightly he held her. He took hold of her leggings and her small clothes and tore them from her legs. Ariya screamed and started to kick her legs around. The pale man lifted her head and slammed it into the table once again. Ariya felt weak, her body started to give up. The pale man kicked her legs apart and placed his hand on her thigh. 

 

“The more you struggle, the more I’ll hurt you girl.” 

 

He ran his hand along the front of her waist and placed his fingers over her clit. Ariya flinched and started to struggle again, but he didn’t stop. He rubbed her pearl roughly and rested his hips on her rear. He started to roll his hips along hers and Ariya began to sob. She was helpless and she didn’t have the strength to fight anymore. He slipped his finger into her and started to laugh.

 

“Why are you so fucking wet? Does that feel good?”

 

It didn’t. She felt disgusting, hurt, and helpless. Ariya could feel her core begin to feel warm, she was confused. She didn’t want this or him but her body was beginning to betray her. The pale man pulled his hand away from her and lifted her head up to turn her around. He pushed her back and Ariya stumbled into the table. He took hold of her shoulders and forced her to lie back on the cold wood. Ariya didn’t want to look at him; she kept her eyes on the ceiling of the room. It was made of stone and she could see moss ground around the cracks and corners. 

 

“Spread your legs sweetling.” 

 

Ariya kept her legs tightly pressed together and gripped the edge of the table with her hands. She didn’t want him to have her. Her body wasn’t a play thing for him. She shook her head no but kept her gaze on the stone ceiling. The pale man grabbed her knees and started to force them apart. Her body was shaking but she couldn’t stop him, he forced her legs apart and now she was completely exposed to him. She could feel his gaze on her body, she couldn’t hide.

 

“Oh I’m going to have so much fun with you…” 

 

He trailed off and Ariya heard his heavy footsteps walk away from the table. She took a quick glance and saw him going for the chains on the wall. When he returned to her, he took both of her wrists and placed them over her head and wrapped her wrists in the metal chains. He attached them to a hook on the stone wall, she couldn’t move, and if she tried the chains would tug tighter on her wrists. 

 

“Now, where were we?”

 

The pale man knelt in front of her and threw her legs over his shoulders; he buried his face into her and found his mouth against her sex. Ariya screamed and tried to move her body away but he held her down and led his tongue into her folds. Ariya gripped the chains and continued to scream at him to get off. 

 

“You taste so sweet girl, I think I’m really going to enjoy you.”

 

Ariya felt her body warm up and a tingling feeling ran across her body. She didn’t understand why was her body reaching this way? Her legs began to shake and her body started to clench. As the pale man continued, Ariya’s body gave into him and an orgasm rushed over her body. The pale man lifted his head and laughed at her. She felt ashamed and embarrassed, how could she take pleasure in this? Ariya closed her eyes and started to cry silently. She heard the pale man stand up and begin to undo his pants.

 

“Looks like you enjoyed that, like the whore mage you are. Do you know what I’m gonna do to you now?” He placed his rough hand over Ariya’s face and grabbed it to make her look at him. “I’m gonna fuck you. Fuck you like the little slut you are. You hear me?! This is what you deserve!” 

 

He threw her head back against the table and quickly undid his belt and his pants. Ariya shut her eyes again; she didn’t want to see him. She tried to think of anything, anything at all to distract her, but all she could hear was the pale man’s breathing and the sound of his clothing hit the floor. The pale man inched closer and grabbed one of her thighs. She felt the tip of his arousal press against her entrance. Ariya shot her eyes open and let out a scream as he entered her. It hurt, like she was being ripped opened from the inside. She dug her fingers into the wooden table trying to grasp at anything.

 

“You’re fucking tight. When was the last time you had a good fuck?” 

 

He began to rock his hips back and forth this time with more force. Ariya gripped her chains as hard as she could and felt another scream coming, but this time it was stuck in her throat. She could feel her breath leaving her lungs the further he went into her. She tried to get herself away from him, but he had a firm grip on her hips, all she could do was rock her hips with his. 

 

“You’re a good little fuck aren’t ya?”

 

The pale man grabbed her face and held her still as he leaned in to place his mouth over hers. Ariya’s started to lose control of her body, all feeling of herself and her strength was leaving her. He moved to her neck and mouthed over her skin. Ariya could hear his grunts and felt disgusting. Her body was weak, she could feel her core begin to warm up and she knew another orgasm was coming. She didn’t want it and fought hard to force herself not to let go. The pale man sat himself up and found her clit.

 

“You’re enjoying this, I can feel it. You’re such a good fucking slut. I’m going to break you and make you mine.” 

 

He spat more insults at her as his thrust started to get rougher and erratic. A moan escaped from her mouth and her stomach dropped. The pale man let out a laugh and urged her on. Is she started taking pleasure in this? How can she? Why is her bodying betraying her? 

 

“Fuck that’s it!”

 

He gripped her hips tightly and gave a few more thrusts into her. He threw his head back and let out a groan as he spilled his seed into her. Ariya began to sob, it was finally over. As he moved away from her, she could feel his release trickling down her thighs. She felt dirty, disgusting, exhausted, and in pain, she wanted to die. Ariya closed her eyes and felt sleep take over her body, she prayed to the Maker that she will not wake again. The last thing she heard was his voice, taunting her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was really hard to write. 
> 
> I will say there will still be more graphic scenes the next chapter.


	10. A Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya is still captive to the Red Templars. She begins to lose all hope.
> 
> **Warning: There are rape scenes in this chapter.**

Ariya felt her body was shaking, someone was shaking her. She slowly opened her eyes and saw a man looking down at her. It was Cullen; his curly blonde hair was pushed back and gave her a gentle smile. Was she dreaming? She reached out and placed her hand on his cheek, she could feel the stubble against her skin. He ran his hand along her curves until he found her red hair and tucked it behind her ear. She felt safe, he would never hurt her, never leave her side. Cullen tilted his head and leaned in for a kiss. He felt warm and gentle; he tasted like peppermint tea as he always did. She missed that so much. 

 

“Ariya darling, wake up. You have to wake up. Wake up.” 

 

Everything began to fade away and turn into black. She reached out to grab Cullen but he disappeared as well. A loud buzzing noise ran through her head and she could feel her body shaking. She felt pain shoot through her insides then someone was calling out to her, but it wasn’t Cullen. She slowly opened her eyes and could see a large figure standing over her.

 

“Ahh there you are sweetling, you’re finally awake.” 

 

It was the pale man, he hand his rough hand on her cheek holding her head up. He gave her a light slap against her cheek and Ariya could see he was holding a bowl in his hand. She looked around and she was still lying on the wooden table, still naked. She brought her arms around her body trying to cover herself up. She could see blood running from her wrists from the chains and bruises along her thighs. It wasn’t a nightmare, it was real. She wasn’t home on her bed with Cullen, she wasn’t safe.

 

“Here. Eat this, we’re going to be leaving soon, I don’t want you stumbling around.” 

 

He placed the bowl on the table beside her and Ariya just stared at it. The pale man leaned down and gave her a kiss. Ariya flinched and as began to grope her body. He then turned to the door and walked out. As he closed the door she could hear the lock turn, she was still trapped. She slowly pushed off the table to sit herself up. Her head was pounding hard, it felt like she got ran over a carriage. She brought he hand up to touch her wound on her head and notice she was still bleeding. Ariya started to cry, her body felt broken, why did she have to wake up? Why couldn’t she just die? She reached for the bowl and started to eat the stew, maybe if she could regain her strength she wouldn’t experience anymore more pain from the pale man. As she ate she could hear a set of voices outside of the door.

 

“He just left; he said we were to take to the mage with us.”

 

“So she’s just by herself in there?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

Ariya heard the door unlock and the two Templars stepped in. She could only recognize one of them, Jantos, the burnt man who almost killed Dorian. She tried to cover herself and watched as the two men began to circle around her with sly smirks across their faces.

 

“She’s a pretty one, isn’t she?”

 

“Yeah… She’s a red head, I love red heads.”

 

Her body started to shake again in fear; she knew what was going to happen. Jantos rushed towards her and grabbed her ankles. Ariya tried to crawl away from him but his grip was over powering her and he pulled her towards him. As he let go of one of her ankles Ariya reacted quickly and kicked him. He fell over hitting his head against the stone wall. The other man wrapped his hands around her torso and began to squeeze her. It felt like her life was being force out of her body, she couldn’t breathe. Jantos got up and shook his head.

 

“Fucking bitch!”

 

He moved towards her and placed his gloved hand on her bare shoulder. Ariya screamed as a jolt went through her like a knife it was another holy smite. The man let go of her and she fell onto the cold floor. Her body was numb and she couldn’t move all she could do was watch as the two men lifted her limb body and threw her onto the table. Her vision started to get blurry and their voice started to muffle out. Ariya blinked trying to keep herself awake but the smite took its effect on her body, she was out. 

 

\--

 

Ariya woke to the sound of chains dragging against the stone floor. She looked around to see Jantos with his back turned to her; he was gathering chain links from the wall. She could see the other Templar sitting on a chair across from her drinking ale. He was shorter than Jantos was and had no hair on his head. There was a small scar along his eyebrow and his veins were glowing red like the pale man. He turned to face her, giving her a wide smile exposing his missing teeth. 

 

“Would you look at that, the pretty bird is awake.”

 

Jantos turned around and smiled at her. The other Templar got up from his chair and walked over to Ariya. She curled her body up trying to cover herself but the man took her wrists and brought them over her head and held them against the table. Ariya began to struggle against his grip as Jantos made his way to the table. He took the chains and attached the cuffs to her wrists and banded them together. 

 

“I think we can have some fun before we head off eh?”

 

Ariya started to move again but she couldn’t get away from Jantos or the bald man. She heard him begin to undo his pants and Ariya started to panic. She began to plead with both Templars, but they just laughed at her. He took her legs and pulled them apart to expose her sex to him. Ariya turned her head to face the wall and sobbed, she was out numbered. She felt his arousal push against her opening. As she squirmed Jantos gave one huge thrust and Ariya let out a scream. She was still in pain from the pale man and now she could feel herself ripping apart again. Jantos took hold of her legs and held them up giving more force into his thrusts. Ariya gripped her chains and felt the bald man’s rough hands take hold of her breasts. 

 

“I think the other boys might like you. Should I call on them and find out?”

 

Ariya sobbed harder. There was no end to this nightmare; she knew she would just be their play thing. As the bald man left the room she was left alone with Jantos who was still inside of her. He ran his hands along her curvy body and leaned over to find her breasts. Ariya flinched as his mouth covered her nipple. A small whimper fell from her lips as he thrusts got deeper and rougher. 

 

“You’re such a good little slut. How does it feel to be fucked by a real man?”

 

She looked up at Jantos and could see his desire in his eyes. She could see the pleasure branded across his face and the sweat on his brow. She looked down at herself and saw his hands wrapped around her hips as they moved to meet his. He wasn’t a man; he was a monster, a coward. Her attention was averted when the bald man and two other Templars entered the room. She felt her stomach drop and knew her nightmare was starting over, this time it was worse. Ariya didn’t want to fight anymore, she was tired. She just wanted them to take their pleasure and be done with it. She hoped she would die from the blood loss once this was over and hopefully be at peace. 

 

Jantos took a few more thrusts into Ariya then let out a roar as he released himself into her. He stayed inside of her a few minutes longer as he planted wet sloppy kisses along her torso. Ariya could feel the sticky wetness between her legs as he pulled away from her. She felt her stomach turn as the bald man approached her. 

 

“The boss told me you were the best fuck he’s ever had. I wonder if you’ll be mine as well.”

 

He grabbed Ariya by the throat forcing her to sit up. He led her off the table and onto the stone floor. He pushed her down until she was sitting on her knees. She was shivering and saw her wrists were bleeding again from the chains. She kept her head down as she heard him begin to undo his armor. She wanted to cry but there were no more tears, she felt empty. As his pants hit the floor, the bald man took a handful of her red hair and pulled it back painfully making Ariya look up at him. She could see his erection looming over her mouth, she started to plead again, but the bald man just laughed.

 

“Open your mouth princess.”

 

Ariya looked at his arousal then back at him. She didn’t want it, she couldn’t. She kept her mouth shut and just stared at him. The bald man gripped himself and began to move forward towards her mouth. As he pressed himself on her lips, Ariya didn’t open her mouth. She heard the bald man huffed at her then the next thing she knew her face hit the floor. He smacked her so hard her ears were ringing. She tasted her own blood in her mouth and felt the sharp pain on her cheek. The bald man grabbed her by the hair again and brought her to her knees. He placed his two large fingers onto her lips and forced them open. She felt his cock slide into her mouth and she started to gag. 

 

“Fuck!”

 

The bald man gripped her hair and thrusted into her mouth. Ariya saw her nose burry into his black curls and she could smell him, she wanted to vomit. She could feel him going deeper hitting the back of her throat, she couldn’t breathe. The bald man let out a few groans and Ariya could taste his arousal on her tongue. It was pungent and salty, she wanted him to stop but she was too weak to move. As he gave a final thrust she felt his seed begin to spill into her mouth and down her throat. She could feel a sickness coming over her and started to gag against him. 

 

“Fuck! He was right boys; she knows how to pleasure a man.”

 

The bald man removed himself then threw her against the floor. Ariya caught herself before her head hit the stone. She spat out whatever was left in her mouth and took in a deep breath. She felt another pair of hands take her by the waist then something entered her. Ariya screamed as she turned to look behind her and saw another man thrusting into her. Ariya tried to move away but he was too far into her, she had to move along with him. She could hear the other men began to remove their clothing, her nightmare was just beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. The nightmare isn't over. :\ Warning for the next chapter as well.


	11. Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Ariya's nightmare continues, she starts to believe she deserve everything that's happening to her. 
> 
> **Warning: There are rape scenes in this chapter**

It seem like she was in this room for an eternity. Ariya wasn’t sure how many men had her or how many times, but she just laid there and took it. Every time she felt her mana begin to restore one of the Templars would cast a holy smite upon her just in case she would attack them. They were all cowards, but cowards who “owned” her. Ariya started to believe all the words they spat at her. Whore. Slut. Worthless. But out of everything they told her, she believed that she deserved it, like they said. Maybe she did, she has caused so much trouble already. When Cassandra found her at the Conclave with the anchor infused into her left hand, that’s where the trouble started for her and all of Thedas. 

 

“Fuck she’s wet!”

 

Ariya snapped back and became aware of her surroundings. She was on the floor on all fours while one Templar was behind her taking her like some dog. She could feel her muscle begin to fail her; she couldn’t hold herself up anymore. As the Templar threw one rough thrust into her, Ariya fell forward onto her face. The men around her laughed and the one behind her grabbed her red hair and pulled her up. 

 

“This is such a sight. The slutty Inquisitor, leader of the Inquisition, bent over and on all fours just for me. I’ll give you this mage; you know how to take a cock.”

 

Ariya felt tears run down her face, she felt like a “slut”. She felt so ashamed, the amount of times she was taken in this room, and the amount of men who had their fun with her. If she ever got out of here, how could anyone look at her as their leader? She was a failure. Ariya started to think about Cullen, if he found out about this, would he still want her? She would never be enough for him. 

 

“Maker’s breath that was good.”

 

Ariya curled up into a ball as she lay on the floor; her body was shaking from the pain. She heard another Templar approach her and turned her on her back. She watched as he undressed himself and other men watched. He took hold of her legs and lay between them. Ariya closed her eyes as he entered her, she didn’t want to watch him. She could feel him lay himself on top of her and felt him take a nipple into his mouth. She gasped and let a moan out, she couldn’t help it, she wanted to feel something else other than the pain. The man began to pick up his speed in his thrust as he took hold of her other breast. Ariya could feel her body begin to shake; she knew an orgasm was going to hit her. As the man sat up there was a loud bang coming from the other side of the camp. Ariya shot her eyes open and looked at the door; she could hear muffled cries for help and sounds of metal hitting against each other. The man on top of her stopped and looked at the other Templars. 

 

“Go out there and find out what’s going on.” The other men hesitated and looked at each other. “Now! Go!” The men scrambled around to gather their armor and weapons and rushed out the door. As the door shut the man on top of her continued where he left off, he placed his hand on her cheeks to make her look at him. “Come on sweetling, let’s finish this.”

 

In a blink of an eye the door flung open and an arrow came flying through hitting the man in the arm. He screamed and fell backward clutching himself, she could see blood everywhere. She looked over at the door and saw Sera running in.

 

“She’s in here!”

 

Cullen came rushing into the door wide eyed with a sword in his hand. In one swipe the man was dead. Cullen removed the outer layer of his armor and made his way towards Ariya. As he held his arms out to hold her, she flinched and crawled back until she hit the wall. Cullen was taken a back and slowly inched closer to her.

 

“Ariya, it’s me, Cullen.”

 

Ariya covered herself and kept her head down She was shaking in fear and started to sob. She felt ashamed; she didn’t want him to find her like this. Ariya could see the look on his face as he entered the room. She felt fur brush against her bare skin and arms wrap around her trembling body. She looked up and saw Cullen smiling at her but didn’t understand why. He wiped the tears from her cheeks then lifted her into his arms.

 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you, you’re safe now.”

 

Ariya nestled into Cullen’s chest and let sleep take over her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a short chapter but I just needed to write Ariya out of this horrible situation. Type to let the healing begin. I hope you're all enjoying the story so far.


	12. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya finally reaches Skyhold and is treated for her injuries.

It took five days for them to get back to Skyhold. Ariya was out for most of the journey, her injuries were dire and Dorian did most of what he could to bandage her external wounds. She heard the sound of a horn and the gates being opened up. Ariya slowly opened her eyes and looked around. She could see the top of a wooden carriage and her body was covered in blankets. She looked out the slits of the carriage and could see the familiar sight of Skyhold. She let out a sigh of relief, she was home again. The carriage made a short stop which made Ariya bounce back. She felt the pain resurface through her sore body and clutched herself. Cullen made his way around to the entrance and climbed into the carriage. He slowly wrapped his arms around her delicate body and lifted her up.

 

“Ariya, you’re home now.”

 

Ariya placed her head on his shoulder and as he brought her out, she could see Dorian standing on the other side of the carriage. He gave her a small smile and followed Cullen into the infirmary. Cullen gently placed her on one of the beds and started to make his way to speak with one of the healers. She watched as the two of them whispered to each other than the healer give her a wide eyed look. She averted her gaze and felt the tears well up behind her eyes.

 

“My Lady Inquisitor.” The healer gave a bow as she approached her bedside. “I’m going to have a look at your injuries and make sure everything is alright.” Ariya gave a nod and the healer made her way to the end of the bed then turned to look at Cullen and Dorian. “Commander could you and Dorian please wait outside?” Cullen and Dorian looked at each other than nodded and started to head out of the door. Ariya felt her anxiety take over; she didn’t want Cullen to leave.

 

“Cullen please don’t leave me!” Ariya started shaking in fear and the tears were streaming down her face. 

 

“Ariya, I’ll be right outside, I won’t go anywhere.” As Ariya continued to beg Dorian tapped him on the arm and motioned him to stay. Dorian exited the room and Cullen knelt beside her. Ariya quickly grabbed his gloved hand and held it tightly. She looked up at Cullen and she could see the worry on his face. He stroked her hair and tried to calm her down. “I’m right here, alright? Now let’s make sure you’re alright.” Ariya nodded slowly and Cullen kept his back towards her lower half to give her some decency. 

 

The healer lifted the sheets of blankets and asked Ariya to spread her legs. Ariya held them tightly together and started shaking again, all she could think about was the men who ask to do the same. 

 

“My Lady, it’s alright, I just want to make sure there are no serious injuries.”

 

Ariya took a breath and looked at Cullen for reassurance; he nodded and stroked her hair again. She turned back to the healer and parted her legs. As the healer inspected her she started to wonder how badly she was hurt. The healer lifted her head and asked to speak with Cullen privately. Ariya held onto Cullen even tighter and he kissed her hand gently.

 

“I’ll be right over here, I’m not leaving.”

 

Ariya slowly loosened her grip and watched as he got up and walked over to the other side of the room. She could see the serious look on the healer’s face and Cullen’s blond hair move as he nodded his in agreement. They both turned to look at her and she could see the color drained from Cullen’s face. She felt her stomach drop and was afraid again. Was something wrong with her? The healer approached her and took her hand.

 

“My Lady you have some very serious injuries. The wounds are too great to heal on their own; I am going to have to stitch you up.” Ariya started to panic as she looked at the old woman. “I’m afraid this will be very painful, but my Lady this is the only way you can be healed properly.” The old woman began to rub the back of her hand to try and comfort her, but Ariya was still afraid. “I must also ask you a few questions about this terrible incident.” She looked up confused. “I understand this is very difficult but I need to know for your health.” Ariya slowly nodded her head. “Do you know how long you were in that room for?” She blinked and thought about it. It was mid-day when she and Dorian made their way into that tunnel.

 

“I… I think about two days…” She started to picture the stone room with the wooden table. She picture herself naked sprawled out on it and her wrists were in chains. 

 

“Do you know how many men…” The healer trailed off and looked down at Ariya’s hand. She remembered the pale man and how violent he was with her. She started having flashbacks of him forcing her over on the table and ripping her clothes off. Ariya started to shake and gripped the bedsheets. She started to picture Jantos and his burnt skin and the horrible scar branded across his face. She remembered how he took a dagger to Dorian’s throat and almost killed him. Then flashes of his body over hers and the other men who took their pleasure with her. She can still see their faces, their scent, the way their hands felt against her skin, the way they felt inside of her. She can still hear their taunts and insults, calling her a slut and saying she deserved it. 

 

“There… There w-were… more t-than seven.” Ariya glanced at Cullen who was standing across the room. She could see the rage building up as he made his hand into a fist. 

 

“This is very important my Lady, did they leave their seed in you?” Ariya closed her eyes and nodded her head slowly as the tears began to fall from her face. She heard the healer walk over to Cullen and they began to whisper again. Ariya slowly rolled over onto her side and wrapped her arms around her body. Those men did leave their seed in her, what if she was to fall pregnant to one of those monsters? Ariya started to sob harder than felt Cullen’s arm wrap around her. He pulled her in into a warm embrace.

 

“My Lady you need to drink this, it is a contraception potion.” Ariya lifted her head from Cullen’s chest and took the bottle. She quickly drank it and felt her stomach turn from the taste. “Commander I will need to begin the operation.” Cullen nodded and helped Ariya lie back. “I’m going to begin, try to be still as possible.” Ariya took a deep breath and shut her eyes as she held onto Cullen’s hand. When the healer began Ariya screamed and squirmed under the pain. She couldn’t keep still the pain was too great. “Commander I need you to hold her down!” Cullen nodded and placed her hands over Ariya’s shoulders. As the healer continued Ariya tried to struggle out of Cullen’s grip and screamed her way through the pain. She could see Cullen’s sorry expression and tried to calm her down. 

 

After a long excruciating hour, Ariya felt numb, she was so exhausted, she didn’t know it was even possible to experience this much pain. Her eyes began to feel heavy for sleep and as soon as she shut her eyes should heard the healer taking with Cullen.

 

“Commander I fear the contraception may be too late to take any effect on her body. I think it’s best if we get a mage to purge her womb.” There was a long pause and Ariya slowly opened her eyes to look at them. Cullen has his hand over his mouth staring at the ground with a stern look on his face. “My suggestion would be to have an elven mage to perform this. I believe evlen magic would be the most effective.” Cullen nodded in agreement and stepped out of the room. Ariya slowly closed her eyes again and tried to get some rest. 

 

\--

 

Ariya felt a light shake against her shoulder and looked up to see Solas knelt beside her bed and Cullen standing behind him. “Inquisitor, are you alright?” Ariya saw the concern look on his face and she put her head down in shame. She didn’t want everyone to know what had happened to her, it was all too much. Solas placed his hand atop of hers and apologized. “The healers believe the potion they have given to you may have not taken effect on your properly, so we must do something else to insure that it does.” Ariya looked at him confused, what did he mean it had no effect? What else could they do to her? “I know a spell, it is going to cleanse and purge your womb. I need you to lie on your back.”

 

Ariya slowly rolled onto her back and looked down at herself as Solas removed the blankets from her body. “What exactly happens after you do this…?” Solas placed his hand onto her abdomen and a small green glow formed from his hand. Ariya looked at him nervously as he shut his eyes to continue to spell. After he was finished, Solas stood on his feet and told the healers to gather some towels. Ariya didn’t feel anything at all. She sat up and let her legs dangle on the edge of the bed.

 

“The spell should take effect within a few minutes, you will bleed, but not from any injury, it will be like when your moon as arrived.” Ariya began to feel painful cramps; she quickly clutched herself and started to scream. “I’m afraid you will also experience pain.” She felt Cullen rush to her side and placed her arms around her trembling body. She screamed again and grabbed onto his arm for support. Ariya could feel something warm and wet running down her legs. As she opened her eyes she could see blood soaking through everything. Ariya just wanted it to end, how much pain will she have to go through? She would rather fight a thousand demons then go through all of this. Ariya let out what was left of her energy in a scream then everything started to drown out. She could hear Cullen screaming in a panic as he shook her to try and wake her up. All the noises she could hear were slowly turning into a buzzing noise and finally the darkness claimed her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, been working ^^' I hope you're all enjoying the story so far.


	13. Ashamed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya's nightmares get the better of her, Cole tries to comfort her.
> 
> **Warning: There are depictions of rape in this chapter.**

Ariya was walking but couldn’t see anything. Everything was dark but it felt like there were a million pairs of eyes on her. As she lifted her foot to continue to walk, she felt something tug against her ankle. She looked down and saw metal chains begin to wrap around her body. It took hold of her other ankle and her wrists. It dragged her onto the floor and Ariya could see the dark abys quickly fade into a room, a stone room. In a blink of an eye she was laying on top of a wooden table. Her hands were above her head and chained to the wall. She looked down at herself and saw her body was bare. Her legs were spread apart, she tried to move her body but it wouldn’t respond. 

 

The door handle slowly turned and a shadow figure enters into the room. It had red glowing eyes and had a smirk across its face as it hovered towards her. It stood in front of her and placed it clawed hands on her hips. Ariya tried to move her body but it still wouldn’t respond. The clawed hands gripped her tightly and she could feel its fingers rip open her skin, she could see the blood drip down. Ariya opened her mouth to scream as the shadow thrusted into her heat but nothing came out. She felt the sharp pain as it entered further but all she could do was watch. As it rocked its hips to meet hers, she could feel her insides rip open.   
As the shadow continued to rock against her hips she could see other shadows begin to appear into the room. They groped her naked body and their claws would cut her skin as they dragged along her body. Ariya could feel the pain all over her body, like a knife being dragged through. She looked up at the shadow that was inside of her and it bared its fanged teeth at her. They all laughed at her and started to shout insults at her.

 

“Slut.”

 

“You deserve this.”

 

“Whore.”

 

“You deserve this.”

 

“I’ll give you this mage; you know how to take a cock.”

 

“You deserve this.”

 

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?”

 

“You deserve this.”

 

“The slutty Inquisitor, leader of the Inquisition.”

 

“You deserve this!”

 

Their insults got louder and seemed like the shadows got bigger and hovered above her body. Ariya felt the pain between her legs grow as   
it thrusted into her roughly and erratically. She tried to scream again but no sound would come out. The shadow roared a terrible shrieking noise as it spilled its seed into her. The other shadows laughed and continued to run their claws against her body. As the shadow pulled out she felt a warm wetness trickle down her sex, Ariya looked down at herself and saw blood coming out between her legs. Another shadow appeared in front of her and took her hips as it entered her. Ariya couldn’t take it; she let out a loud scream that shook the room. The shadows laughed and laughed until they downed out her screams. Their laughs turned into a buzzing noise and Ariya woke up screaming.

 

She sat up in a cold sweat with tears streaming down her face. Her body was trembling in fear and she could feel her whole body was in pain. She closed her eyes and sobbed harder. Her nightmares were following her in her sleep. Ariya started to wonder if she’ll ever find peace. She felt arms slowly around her trembling body. Ariya shot open her eyes and saw Cole sitting on her bed. 

 

“You will find peace.”Ariya blinked as she looked at him as Cole started to feel her pain. “Chains, twisting and turning. “Cowards, all of them.” Tears streaming down your face. Warm tingling feelings rushing through your body. “I deserve this.” 

 

Ariya looked down at her shaking hands and gripped her blanket. She must have deserved this; she has caused so much trouble for everyone, now even more so. She felt Cole release her and sit quietly beside her. Ariya looked up at him to study his face. Cole’s eyes were filled with sympathy. He placed his hand on Ariya’s cheek and gave a small smile.

 

“You do not deserve any of this. None of this is your fault.” Ariya bit her lip and tried to fight back her tears. How can he say it isn’t? “What those men did to you, it wasn’t your fault.” 

 

“But… But Cole… my body… it enjoyed it… I…” Ariya collapsed into Cole’s arms and started to sob hard. She felt Cole’s arm wrap around her shaking body and patted her on the back. “It was wrong, and those monsters made me… like it. I couldn’t help myself, I… I just wanted to feel something else other than the pain… I’m… ashamed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This getting harder to right, since I have to make Ariya feel guilty and ashamed of her situation, but I will push through this. I hope you guys are still enjoying this.


	14. Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya tries to get back into her life as the Inquisitor.

Ariya woke up in a daze, her body ached from her injuries and from all the pain she had experienced the day before. She looked around and noticed she was in her bed and not in the infirmary anymore. She slowly made her way towards her wardrobe and picked out a set of clothing to wear for the day. Ariya dressed in her dark blue silk tunic with her brown leggings. She ran a brush through her curly red locks and stared at herself in the mirror. She hated the person who was staring back at her. She looked sad and broken, like the life had been taken away and all that was left was a walking corpse. 

 

Ariya made her way around her desk and saw the piles of paperwork on it. She knew she couldn’t be “out of commission” forever; she had a job to do. She picked the first report she saw and quickly skimmed through it. She paused when she saw the word “Templar”. Ariya could feel her body begin to shake and the air in her lungs escape. She crumpled up the report and threw it in the fire. Ariya looked down at her hands and tried to stop them from shaking. Suddenly there was a knock at her door. She fumbled as she turned around and made her way down the stairs. She quickly straightened herself up and opened the door slowly. Cullen was standing there holding a tray of food.

 

“Oh! You’re up. I thought you were still in bed. How are you feeling?”

 

Ariya looked at the apple pie and the glass of milk that was sitting on the silver tray. She blinked then looked up at Cullen’s face. She could see the bags under his eyes were visible, he wasn’t sleeping well. The stubble had grown in more and his curly blonde hair was a bit of a mess, not styled like it usually was. Cullen’s expression quickly turned sour when she didn’t answer him.

 

“Ariya, are you alright? You’re shaking.”

 

Cullen reached out with his free hand to take a hold of her but she flinched and stepped back a little. She started to panic; she didn’t want him to see her like this. She looked back at Cullen and saw the hurt in his eyes as he retracted his hand.  
“I… I-I’m fine; I’m not that hungry right now… M-maybe we can talk later.” Ariya quickly shut the door on him, cutting him off before he could say anything to her. As she shut the door, she turned around and let her body slump against the wood. She could feel her heart pounding hard in her chest. She heard Cullen on the other side of the door giving an auditable sigh. Ariya waited until she heard his footsteps fade away. She brought her shaking hands up and stared at them. Ariya started to sob as she wrapped her arms around her chest. She didn’t want Cullen to see her like this, but she didn’t want to be alone either. She needed to be around him, he made her feel alive, but she let the shame take over.

 

\--

 

Leliana had called for a war meeting to discuss the sightings of the Grey Wardens. Ariya was the first to arrive in the war room. She took a look at the map and the markers that Leliana had placed. Josephine opened the giant doors holding her board and papers stacked on top of it. Ariya forced a smile across her face as she greeted her. She didn’t want Josie to know what had happened or to worry about her. They chatted for a bit about the Inquisition’s progress then eventually about Antivan fashion. The conversation was interrupted when Leliana appeared. She gave a look at Ariya, she knew. Ariya quickly averted her gaze to the map. 

 

It’s been nearly half an hour and Cullen still had not arrived. Ariya began to worry; maybe she really upset him with her actions earlier this morning. As Leliana and Josie continued to talk, Ariya just stared at the two giant doors, hoping he would come soon. Josephine volunteered to go looking for the Commander and quickly exited the room. Ariya focused her attention back onto the map and tried to study all the locations. She felt Leliana place her hand on her shoulder. Ariya turned to look at her and saw the sorrow in her eyes.

 

“Ariya, are you alright?” Ariya looked back at the map; she quickly blinked to keep the tears from falling. “What am I saying? Of course you’re not alright.” She felt Leliana let go of her shoulder. “Ariya, I know what you are going through. The shame you feel, the panic you feel when someone approaches you, that twisting feeling in the pit of your stomach when you are reminded. The way your hands shake, you feel broken and you can’t fix it.” Ariya looked back and her. Leliana had her two hands pressed against the war table looking at the map. Her expression was blank but she could hear the hurt in her voice. “Back when I was in Orlais, I… I was capture and taken in for questioning about an incident. They tortured me and did… terrible things to me to make me confess. It was… like I was living a nightmare.” Leliana gripped the table as she bared her weight on her hands “Ariya I want you to know, time heals, but you never forget, it’s something that will probably stick with you forever, it’s a terrible thing.” She pushed off the table and turned to face her. “But you are not alone. There are people here who would walk here to the fade and back again for you.” Ariya looked down and knew what she was implying. “Don’t let the nightmare take you.” Ariya quickly threw herself into Leliana’s arms and started to weep. She felt her arms hold her shaking body. 

 

“Thank you… Leliana.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have played Dragon Age Origins and did Leliana's side quest you know what incident she is talking about. I love her character so much. The way she has changed over the 3 games is wonderful, and with everything she has been through I don't blame her for being a little cold in Inquisition.


	15. No shame. No Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya wants to try and forget about her sorrow and tries to enjoy a drink with her friends.

It had been a long day, a long and exhausting day. Ariya was the first to leave the war room, she didn’t stop for anyone. The meeting was long and awkward. Every time she would talk she could feel Cullen’s eyes on her. They promised each other to keep things professional when it came to Inquisition business but it was hard for them to keep it that way after what had happened. Ariya knew her actions earlier that morning had put a strain on their relationship, but she began to think about what Leliana told her. “Don’t let the nightmare take you.” She needed time, needed to relax and let everything out. She needed her friends. 

 

It was nearly nightfall and most of the Inquisition had either retired to their quarters or to the tavern. Ariya walked the main hall greeting every noble while trying to hide her sorrow. She finally made it out and looked around the courtyard. Ariya looked up at Cullen’s tower and saw him quickly enter. She wanted to just run up there and kiss him but, she couldn’t. She wasn’t ready to face him and face what had happened to her with him. Ariya made a fist with her hand and felt the rage build up. She hated the fact she was like this. She looked over and saw Dorian made his way into the Tavern. 

 

As she opened the door to the Tavern, the smell of ale hit her like a sack of potatoes. The air was warm and filled with mindless chatter from the people. Laughter and the banging of cups hitting the wooden tables accompanied by the beautiful voice of the bard singing. Ariya walk through and was greeted by her followers. She saw Bull, Dorian and Varric sitting at the back of the tavern. She made her way over to their table and took the seat next to Varric. They all had this look of surprise on their faces. Dorian and Bull looked at each other with concern and Varric just stared at her. She knew they all knew what had happened.

 

“What? I can’t join my friends for a drink?”

 

Bull shook his head and smiled at her as he handed one of his many cups of ale he had. The drink slid to Ariya and she took one huge swig of the stuff and let out a cough when she slammed the cup onto the table. Ariya wasn’t very fond of alcohol but she felt like this was a good place to let herself go. Varric placed his hand on top of Ariya’s and really looked at her.

 

“You sure you’re up for drinking Princess?”

 

Ariya held up her cup and looked at her friends. She needed to let herself go, to feel something else other than the shame. Ariya just wanted one night where she could have fun and not be a walking corpse. She wanted to feel like herself again, what better way to start than be around her friends? She’s seen how happy Bull gets when he drinks, maybe it could work for her too. 

 

“Varric I’m fine. I just want to relax and be with my best friends.”

 

She took another swig of the stuff and looked at her friends. They looked at each other than Bull gave a huge laugh as he made a toast to them. Eventually they moved the conversation to Varric’s books and the exciting adventures of his time in Kirkwall with Hawke. As the night continued, they had gone through three rounds of drinks. Ariya started to feel the effects of the alcohol. She started to slur her words and laugh louder than she normally would. She felt good, almost like a jelly treat melting on a plate. She didn’t feel any sorrow or shame, she was feeling happy. 

 

\--

 

As the night ended and the Tavern started to empty, Ariya decided to call it in for the night. She got up a little too quickly and stumbled forward. Bull quickly grabbed her arm and stopped her from falling over. Ariya couldn’t help but giggle mindlessly over her clumsiness. Dorian got up from his seat and made his way to her side.

 

“I’ll help you to your room.” Ariya started to push his arms away as she stumbled to the door.

 

“No! N-no! I’m per… fectly fine! I can get to my r-room on my own.” 

 

Dorian protested with her and tried to help but Ariya kept swatting his arm away. Eventually Bull told him to let her go and she made her way out of the Tavern. The night air was cool against her hot skin. She looked around and saw only a few patrols walking about in the courtyard. Ariya started to make her way to her quarters. She looked around Skyhold admiring everything about her home until Cullen’s tower came into her view. She paused and looked at it; she could see a small flicker of light through the windows. He was still awake. Ariya turned around and headed for his tower, maybe she could see how he is doing. She wanted to apologize for her actions earlier that day. 

 

Ariya had trouble making her way up the stairs. She misplaced her step and came falling forward. She caught herself before her head face planted onto the hard concrete. Ariya couldn’t help but giggle, she felt so silly wobbling around like this, and she has never felt anything like this before, let alone be drunk. Ariya finally made it to the door and gave a loud knock.

 

“Cullen! Cullen open the door pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?!” 

 

Ariya rested her forehead against the wooden door as she kept knocking against the wood. She could hear the sound of a chair move followed by footsteps coming towards her. Cullen opened the door which caused Ariya to lose her balance and fall forward. Cullen was taken aback as she landed against his chest. Ariya began to giggle uncontrollably against his neck.

 

“Ariya? Are you alright? What are you doing?”

 

She continued to giggle as she looked up at him. His amber eyes were filled with confusion, but he looked so good to her right now. His blonde curly hair was still a mess, he looked tired but for some reason Ariya found it extremely attractive. She could smell the peppermint on his breath. She stared at his scar on his lip and wanted to kiss him, to taste the sweet scent on his breath. As she stood up, Ariya placed her hands on his chest and smiled at him. 

 

“I j-just wanted to see my Cullen. I missed you.” Cullen placed his hands on her hips to steady her balance and scrunched up his face as he looked at her.

 

“Ariya have you been drinking?”

 

“No! Not really… I mean n-not a lot. You know I don’t drink!”

 

Ariya giggled again and started to sway. Cullen kept a firm grip on her so she would not fall over. Ariya played with the fur on his armor and twist the ruffles of fluff through her fingers. 

 

“Cullen… I-I just wanted to see you.”

 

Cullen cupped her cheek and gave her a gentle smile. Ariya nuzzled against his palm and looked up at him. She could see his face soften but his eyes were filled with sorrow. Ariya felt her anxiety begin to surface. Why was he looking at her like this? Did she really upset him?

 

“I’m sorry for this morning…” 

 

“You don’t have to apologize, I understand.”

 

Ariya slowly slide her arms around his neck and pressed against his armor. She felt guilty and wanted to show how sorry she was, how much he meant to her. Ariya stood on her toes and planted a sloppy kiss on Cullen. She felt his hesitation until she drove her tongue through his parting lips. She could taste the sweetness of his tea and let out a small moan. Cullen wrapped his arms around Ariya’s curvy body and pressed into her kisses. Ariya needed to feel him, all of him. She wanted to feel the happiness he gave her just like the day he kissed her on the battlements. Ariya ran her fingers through his hair and hungrily devoured him. She could feel his arousal pressing against her, it drove her mad. 

 

“Cullen I want you now!” As she leaned in to claim his mouth but Cullen held her shoulders and moved back. Ariya paused in confused as she let her arms drop from his body. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Cullen’s face harden as he looked at her. He kept his hands on her shoulders as he loosened his grip.

 

“Ariya, you’re drunk this isn’t right.” She felt confused. How was this not right? She knew he wanted her, she could feel it. Ariya felt her anxiety rise and got a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. Was something wrong with her? She could still see the sorrow behind his eyes. Ariya could feel the shame rush over her body, he didn’t want her anymore. Her hands began to shake and she quickly backed away from him, and her eyes began to fill with tears. 

 

“Y-you don’t want me anymore do you?” 

 

“What? No! Ariya, that’s not-“

 

Ariya darted out of his tower and ran as fast as she could. She could feel her tears falling down her face. She could hear Cullen’s shouts behind her for her to come back to him, but she didn’t want to. She was letting the nightmare take her, the shame. Ariya quickly slammed the door to her quarters and locked it. She collapsed onto the floor and sobbed. Cullen didn’t want her, her friends looked at her differently; even her followers gave her odd looks. She wasn’t the inquisitor anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was interesting to write. I hope everyone is enjoying the story, thank you for all the kudos and comments! It means a lot to me! ^^ <3


	16. Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The darkness consumes Ariya's mind and she let's it get the better of her.

The next few days Ariya decided to “retire” her position for the time being. She couldn’t think, sleep and she barely ate anything. Every night when she tried to sleep she would have nightmares, the nightmares of being in that room locked up while those Red Templars raped her over and over again. She could still see the pale man and hear his laughter. The taunts and cruel names they called her were still stuck in the back of her mind, she still believed she deserved it and it was eating her alive. Ariya felt the disgusted at the small part of her that liked it. She hated the fact her body gave in to those men, she didn’t and still doesn’t understand why. 

 

When Ariya would walk the main halls, the nobles would all stare at her and as soon as she looked at them, they smiled and greeted her. Ariya started to get paranoid, believing her inner demons that they knew about what had happened to her, the way she was taken in that room, the way she was violently abused, the way she liked it, the shame she felt. Her mind felt like she was in a trans, all she could feel was this stabbing feeling in her chest. Ariya felt lost, and after embarrassing herself in front of her friends and Cullen, she felt like she couldn’t talk to anyone. 

 

She consulted Leliana and told her she wasn’t feeling well, though she could tell she didn’t by her lies but let Ariya take a few days for herself. In her place, Ariya requested that Cassandra to take a role in the war meetings and help make decisions. She and Cassandra had always agreed when it came to politics and Ariya trusted her judgement, after all she did start the Inquisition. If there was a major decisions to be made Ariya allowed the advisors to seek her input. 

 

\--

 

Ariya spent most of her time locked up in her room; she tried to avoid as many people as she could. Most of the Inquisition tried to talk with her but she wouldn’t allow any visitors to her quarters, especially Cullen. The only people she would really let in were Leliana, Cassandra and a few handmaidens. Ariya sat out on her balcony wrapped up in a blanket reading books she had in her personal collection. This was her only escape from her mind, the only place she didn’t have to worry about her problems but the problems of the characters in the book. As she turned to the next page she heard a small cough behind her. Ariya closed the book and quickly turned around, she saw Cassandra standing by the doorway holding a clipboard.

 

“I’m sorry to disturb you Inquisitor, but you weren’t answering the door.” 

 

“Please, call me Ariya. Is everything okay?” Ariya placed the book on her lap and shifted around in her chair. Cassandra stepped forward holding out the clipboard.

 

“Leliana asked me to show you our plans from today’s meeting. She wants to make sure you agree on our decisions.” 

 

“Alright, I’ll take a look; you can just leave it on my desk, thank you Cassandra.” 

 

Ariya looked up at her and gave hear a weak smile. Cassandra nodded her head and headed back into her room. She heard the clipboard hit the wooden desk and Cassandra’s footsteps begin to exit from the room, until she suddenly stopped. Ariya heard her turn on her heal and walk back towards the balcony. 

 

“Inqusi- Ariya, how are you feeling?” Ariya raised her eyebrow as she turned to look at her. Cassandra had her arms crossed and was leaning against the doorframe studying her face. “Leliana had mentioned to us that you are unwell.” Ariya tensed up and quickly turned to face the mountains. She wasn’t sure if Cassandra knew what had happened or was just genuinely worried about her fake illness. Ariya could feel her anxiety rise and seep through her body. 

 

“I… Yes. I’m fine, I’m sure it will pass soon.” 

 

Ariya’s hands began to shake. She quickly held onto her hands and tried to stop herself. Cassandra slowly walked beside her and knelt down. She took hold of Ariya trembling hands and held them in her gloved ones. She looked at the Seeker’s face with teared fill eyes. Cassandra opened her mouth to speak, but paused as she looked at Ariya’s face. 

 

“Ariya, I will not ask you to tell me what’s going on, but know this, you are a strong woman and I admire you greatly. Ever since you have taken the role as our leader, you have taken a huge role and have made the most difficult decisions. Whatever demons you are facing on the inside please know that you will beat them.”

 

Ariya hung her head and closed her eyes to stop the tears from falling. She gripped Cassandra’s hands tighter and felt an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

 

“I don’t think I can be strong anymore… I… I’m not the Inquisitor anymore…”

 

“Listen to me.” Cassandra took hold of Ariya’s shoulders and pulled her forward. “You are. You have always been our leader, ever since we found you at the Conclave. You offered to help even though you had no idea what was going on, you risk your life to save us at Haven. Do not tell me you are not strong.” 

 

Ariya slowly lifted her head and looked at her. Everything that Cassandra was saying to her did not spark any life into her. How can she remain strong? How can she still look up to her when her shame was written all over her face? Her nightmares still followed her, the day she was capture was the day Ariya felt like her life was taken from her. How could she ever get that back?

 

“Cassandra… I can’t… I can’t go on… not like this, not anymore.” 

 

Cassandra’s eyes widen as she let go of her shoulders. She stood up and stared at her surprisingly. Ariya meant every word she said, the darkness that was consuming her mind was slowly winning. Ariya couldn’t live with herself like this, but she couldn’t find the strength to get past it.

 

“Ariya you will not give up! I won’t allow it! If you leave what are we going to do? What will the Inquisition do? What will Cullen do?” 

 

Cullen. His name as like an arrow piercing her heart, he was someone who she cared for deeply. He was more than just her lover, he was her friend. Ariya longed for the feeling that Cullen had given her. She felt whole and happy the day they confessed their feelings for one another. She needed that feeling back, but her darkness was still overpowering her mind, she was still afraid. She still remembers the day her found her naked on stone floor on her back while a Red Templar was having her. She can still picture his face in her mind, the look of disgust, hurt, and rage. She still couldn’t muster up the courage to sit down and talk about what has happened to her with him or to anyone, not even Dorian. 

 

Cassandra walked over and placed her hand gently on her shoulder.

 

“Ariya, please don’t push us away. You need time, and I understand that, but we are here for you, I am here for you as well.” As Cassandra left a cold breeze blew by and Ariya’s firey curls swayed along with it. She grabbed her blanket and threw it over her shoulder. She felt her tears streaming down her cheek as she silently sobbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say something about this chapter. I personally suffer from depression so a big part of what Ariya is feeling is something I have been through. It's a terrible illness that can eat away at you to the point where you give up, and sometimes it leaves in a dark place where you think you can't get out. A big part of Ariya's problem right now is she feels like she cannot open herself up, and you can't blame her, what she has gone through was traumatizing, but what she really needs to for someone to talk to in a safe environment. 
> 
> If you are someone who suffers from depression please know you are not alone. You never have and never will be. If you seriously considering suicide please don't do it. Seek help, be it from family, friends, or a doctor. Just tell someone please!
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you guys are still enjoying this story. <3


	17. We Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya suffers another nightmare, this time she sees someone she did not expect.

Ariya tossed and turned in her sleep, she couldn’t shake off her nightmares. Each night she would wake up screaming and covered in sweat. She would always find Cole sitting at the end of the bed waiting for her to wake up, but this night was different. When she woke up he wasn’t there. Ariya brought her hands over her eyes and sobbed, she felt so lonely and afraid. As she sobbed there was a small knock on the door. Ariya shot her head up and looked towards her stairwell, waiting for the next knock. Who would be coming to see her at this hour? When the second knock came, Ariya pulled the covers over her head and sank into her mattress. Maybe whoever was there would go away. 

 

She waited a couple of more minutes and finally the knocking ended. She let out a sigh of relief and pulled her blankets off her head. She turned onto her side and Cullen’s rose came into her view. Ariya reached out at the glass vase and touched the soft petals. It came as surprise to know the flower was still alive. She picked up the flower and held it over her head. Ariya glided her fingers along its thornless steam and thought about the man who gave it to her. She had been avoiding all contact with him, to the point where he stopped trying to visit her in her quarters. The thought of him made Ariya sad, she missed her lover, and yet she could not face him. She sighed and placed the rose to her chest.

 

\--

 

Ariya opened her eyes to find herself standing at top the grand staircase of Skyhold. She looked around to see her people staring up at her. She could see her friends and advisors among the crowd. There was an uneasy feeling in the air and as she blinked again, she could see their eyes turn red and their faces darken. Smirks were branded across their lips and some began to laugh. A low belly, throaty laugh. Ariya didn’t understand what was so funny, she started to back away from the edge of the ledge until her body hit against something metal. She quickly turned around to see Cullen standing there. Ariya’s eye widen in surprise to see him wearing a Templar Knight’s armor. She could see his eyes and veins were red, and his skin was pale, almost sickly. He looked like a completely different person. She could see red lyrium shards sticking out of his armor in various places. The crystals were pulsing light and humming a low tone as if it was singing. 

 

Cullen stepped forward and took hold of Ariya’s shoulders. She flinched under his grip as he dug into her skin. She tried to break free from his grasp but he was too strong for her. He spun her around to face the heckling crowd and took hold of her tunic. He quickly tore off her clothing and stripped her naked. Ariya screamed and tried to cover her body but Cullen took hold of her wrists and brought them together behind her back. He tugged at them to pull her against him; she could feel how cool the metal felt against her bare skin. The crowd laughed harder, but this time they started to shout at her and call her different names. Cullen rested his chin against her shoulder and moved close to her ear.

 

“Do you hear that my dear Inquisitor? Do you hear what they are saying?”

 

Ariya looked around among the crowd. They were shouting horrible things at her, some calling her a “slut”, a “whore”, “worthless”. She could feel the tears begin to well up from her eyes, she wanted to cry. 

 

“We all know what you really are. We know.”

 

Cullen pushed her off the ledge and Ariya could see the ground below her opened up, a rift. As she fell through her ears began to ring. She slowly opened her eyes and pushed her naked body off the cold ground. Ariya looked around to see she was in the fade. She placed her arms around her chest and realized she wasn’t breathing. Ariya’s throat began to tighten, her lungs started to give out and her vision started to blur. Her heart was pounding loudly in her chest as she tried to gasp for air. The anchor on her hand began to glow brightly and started to blind her vision. Ariya felt her body shake violently until she passed out. In the darkness she could hear someone calling to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't written anything for other a month! I've been busy with my personal life. I hope you enjoyed this short chapter! I just need to write more to get back into my story with Ariya.


	18. The Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen confronts Ariya about her depression.

“Ariya? Ariya can you hear me?”

 

Ariya sat up screaming covered in sweat. She looked around to find herself in her bed. She felt a large hand against her shoulder. As Ariya looked up she saw Cullen standing there in his tunic shirt and leather pants. His eyes were heavy from exhaustion and bags sat under his amber eyes. His expression was filled with worry and sorry. Ariya could still feel her heart pounding and her lungs burning as she sucked in air. 

 

“Are you alright?”

 

As she began to open her mouth, but the words would not come. They were stuck in her throat and instead she let out a small squeak. Ariya placed her hands over her mouth and closed her eyes quickly to stop herself from crying. Why was Cullen here? Why did he have to see her like this? Ariya could feel the mattress sink under Cullen’s weight as he sat beside her. She slowly looked up at him to see his hand reaching out to cup her face. Ariya started to panic and darted away from his callused hand. 

 

“Cullen please…”

 

She could see she was hurting him whenever she tried to avoid his touch, but Ariya was afraid, she just wasn’t ready to open up and talk to him about what had happened. It had been nearly a month since her encounter with the Red Templars and the only person she was able to open up to was Cole. The young boy had understood her pain and understood how to approach her. He never judged her, never turned her away, and had always listened to her. Could Cullen do that for her? Or will he cut her off if he knew the truth?

 

Cullen face hardened as he brought his hand down. He let out a sigh and got up from her bed. He walked over to her balcony doors and opened them. A cool breeze blew through the room and hit Ariya’s burning skin. She tucked her hair behind her ears and watched Cullen’s back as he shifted his weight onto his other foot.

 

“Ariya, are you ever going to talk to me about… what has happened?”

 

She kept her gaze on the Commander and pushed the blankets off her body. Ariya threw her legs off the side of her bed and hesitated to get up. 

 

“I… know this won’t be easy for you that is why I gave you your space but…”

 

Ariya slowly approached Cullen until he turned to face her. She froze in her tracks. Cullen walked over to her and gently placed his hand on her cheek. Ariya flinched a little but held herself in place. 

 

“Please talk to me… I want to help you. I want to understand… W-why would you ever want to end this… end y-“

 

Ariya knocked her hand away and pushed past against Cullen. Catching him off guard he stumbled back a few steps. Ariya started to make her way to the balcony. She started to panic, how did he know about that? Cullen quickly grabbed her wrist as he tried to stop her.

 

“Let me go Cullen!”

 

“Not until you talk to me!”

 

Ariya tried to tug out of Cullen’s firm grasp but she couldn’t break free. She could feel the panic and anxiety settle in the pit of her stomach. She needed to get out of here, away from this room, and away from him. 

 

“Ariya please!”

 

Cullen’s voice grew weary and he held onto Ariya small wrist. He tried to pull her back into the room but Ariya continued to fight him. She brought her other hand and gave one rough shove against his chest. Cullen shifted back and loosened his grip on Ariya. She took her chance and started to make her way to the stairs. Cullen caught her waist and pulled her against his body. Ariya could feel the tears falling from her eyes and the anger building up. She quickly turned around and raised her hand. She swung her arm to find his cheek but Cullen caught her before impact. Ariya threw herself at him and they both came tumbling onto the wooden floor. Ariya quickly sat atop his chest and held a firm grip against his throat. She casted fire in her free hand and held it above her head. Cullen’s eyes widen.

 

“Please Cullen! I don’t want to hurt you!”

 

Ariya started to sob as she trembled in fear. What the hell was she doing? Cullen reached over and took hold of her arm that had a grip on his throat. His expression softened and his eyes were filled with sadness. His amber eyes were glossy, as if he was about to cry. 

 

“The woman I love wants to end her life, and she won’t tell me why!”

 

Ariya froze. It was almost as if time had stopped itself. What did he say…? Love? Ariya loosened her grip and pushed herself off her body. She crawled away from him and rested her body against her bed frame. She brought her knees up to her chest and tightly wrapped her arms around them. She kept her gaze on the wooden floor and the moonlight that shown through the balcony doors. Ariya heard Cullen sit himself beside her. He sprawled out his legs against the wood and rested his hands on his lap. His voice was low and shaky. 

 

“Please Ariya… Let me help you. I don’t know how or what I can do, but I won’t lose you… not to the darkness.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is actually inspired from Outlander. I wanted Cullen to push against Ariya's comfort zone because of how she has been pushing him away, next chapter will finally begin Ariya's healing.


	19. The Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya let's Cullen in and tell him her secret. She remembers one terrible event during her time as a captive and let's Cullen decide if he still wants her.
> 
> *Warning: There is a flashback scene that involves rape.

They sat there in the dark, in silence. It seemed like an eternity. Ariya’s mind was all over the place, she didn’t know what to say or what to think. Her head was still stuck on the “love” part. Ariya lifted her head and took a look at Cullen. He was sitting with his hands in his lap and waiting patiently for her to start talking. She could feel her heart racing in her chest and felt nervous. The “what ifs” clouded her thoughts and she started to tremble. Cullen reached and placed his hand on her knee. His eyes were loving and understanding. She took comfort in that and Ariya started to feel safe. He wanted to help, to listen, maybe everything would be okay.

 

“I… I… I-I don’t know how to do this…”

 

“Just tell me how you feel.”

 

Ariya took a deep breath and released her grip on her knees. She twirled her fingers through her red curls and bit her lip. The memories of the Templars flooded her mind. She could see all the men, the way they looked, the way the sounded, and what they said to her. The pale man entered her mind and the pain hit her body. She remembered how broken she felt, how used she felt, how she wanted to die. She felt fingers glide against her cheek, as Ariya blinked to look up, she saw Cullen looking at her with sadness in his eyes. She didn’t realize she was crying. 

 

“Cullen, I’m lost… I don’t know how to get past this… Every time I close my eyes… I… I see them…”

 

Ariya closed her eyes has she trailed off. 

 

“Go on.”

 

“They… t-they used me, Cullen. I don’t understand why they did that to me… That pale man… He…”

 

His pale yellow skin, with his thin brown hair, and the red lyrium that flooded his viens. The memories flashes in her mind. The way he slammed her head against the table, all the blood that poured from her head, and the way he took her like she some horse only to be ridden whenever he pleased. 

 

“He told me… I deserved it. That I… liked it.”

 

Ariya slowly opened her eyes and took a look at Cullen, his eyes were narrow and she could see the rage branded on his face. She turned her gaze onto the floor as a breeze blew into the room. Her hair flew past her shoulders and a few strands blew past her face. 

 

\--

 

Ariya’s body wouldn’t respond; she was numb and broken. The cold floor felt good against her burning skin. A rough calloused hand ran along her backside onto her buttocks and caressed her limp legs. The rough hands lifted her body and rolled her onto her back. The Templar with the short blonde hair was looming over her naked body. Ariya looked around the stone room to see the other Templars had left; she was left alone with him.

 

He took hold of Ariya’s face gently and made her look at him. He had broad shoulders, and a well tone form. Like the rest, his skin was pale and his veins were pulsing red with the cursed lyrium. There was a large gash across his chest that matched the other one on his left arm. Ariya’s vision started to blur, her eyes were heavy with sleep and exhaustion. The blonde man gave her a light slap on her cheek as he held onto her with his other.

 

“Come on love, stay awake.”

 

The Templar got up from the stone floor and walked over to pile of clothing that was placed on the wooden table. Ariya watched him as he pulled something out of one of the pockets. He sat himself beside her and held the item up. It was a small bottle with some sort of clear liquid inside. He pulled the cork and tipped the bottle onto the palm of his hands. He smoothed the warm liquid across her thigh and trailed along towards her breast. Ariya trembled in disgust under his touch, but she was too weak to fight him off. His hand found her breast and he gave it a rough squeeze. He ran his thumb across her puckered nipple and he started to laugh.

 

“Does that feel good?”

 

Ariya closed her eyes to try and hold back her anger and her tears. All the Templars who had her had told her she “loved” it or she “enjoyed” it. It wasn’t a complete lie, her body would cave under the pleasure, but in the back of her mind, it was shaming her. She heard him shift around against her and the heat of his body pressing against her as he parted her legs. His rough hand pressed against her clit and smeared the warm liquid across it. Ariya started to feel warm and the ripples of pleasure shot through her body and bit her lip as she tried to muffle a moan. The Templar gave another chuckle as he drove his fingers into her. Ariya let out a yelp as she sat up in surprise, the ache between her legs started to throb with pain.

 

“Looks like you’re ready love.”

 

Ariya watched the Templar grip his straining erection and pressed the head into her opening. As he thrusted roughly into her, Ariya screamed and clutched onto his arms. He pushed until the hilt and stretched her; Ariya could feel the pain ripping through her body. The Templar took hold of her waist and began to violently thrust into her. Ariya squirmed under his weight; she placed her hands on his chest and tried to push him away. He took hold of her hips and continued his rough pace. He dug his fingers into her sides and growled in pleasure. 

 

“The more you fight me, the more it will hurt love. Just take it!”

 

Ariya couldn’t bear the pain; she had no choice and tried to relax her body. She started to move her hips to meet his, the Templar started to grin as he filled her body. The tears started to fall from her cheeks, he was taunting her. Ariya closed her eyes and tried to have her mind leave this nightmare. She imagined she was home at Skyhold. She saw her friends scattered across the fortress. The Iron Bull and his Chargers were sparing in the courtyard like usual, Varric was writing his next book by the fireplace in the grand hall, and Dorian reading his books in the Inquisition library. She could see Sera playing her pranks, Blackwall carving his wooden figures, and Cole sitting on the battlements watching over the people. Viviane was drinking her fine tea, her wonderful advisors Josephine and Leliana, and finally Cullen. 

 

His handsome face and beautiful amber eyes. She picture his blonde curls a mess and he wore his tunic shirt and brown pants instead of his traditional armor. She loved him without his armor, the way he would spare with his men in the courtyard. His shirt would be open enough for her to gaze upon his chiselled chest. The way the sun hit his glistened skin was a sight Ariya never forgot. She missed her lion, the warm and comfort he would give her, His warm embrace or his sweet kisses that stayed with her for the rest of her day. Ariya started to feel the wetness between her legs, her body started to tremble in pleasure as she is being filled. She opened her eyes and saw her lover over her body. 

 

“Cullen?”

 

He smiled at her warmly and laid himself atop her body. He caressed her face as his hips met hers. Ariya wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Her lips crashed against his and his warm tongue pushed through her parting lips. Ariya felt lighter, fuller, as her ecstasy started to climb. Was she dreaming? Was he really here? She ran her fingers through his wet blonde curls and he rested his head against her neck. His thrusts became erratic and urgent. He was close and so was she; Ariya let out a moan in pleasure and shut her eyes. Cullen pushed further and hit the spot that made Ariya cry out. She could feel herself losing her senses from her lover. She held on tightly and let her orgasm take over her body. In one quick thrust Cullen’s release joined her. 

 

Ariya kept her eyes closed and tried to catch her breath. All the pain she felt was gone, her body was trembling in pleasure and her mind was calm. She felt small kiss trailing along the length of her neck followed by laughter. She shot her eyes open to see the stone celling above her. The man continued to laugh and as he lifted his head, Ariya started to cry. 

 

“You enjoyed that, didn’t you love?”

 

He brushed her hair away from her face and planted a kiss on her lips. Ariya flinched and pushed him away from her. He gave another laugh and took hold of her face and held her up to look at him. The tears were now streaming down his hand.

 

“Don’t act all upset, I made you come, you were so willing too.”

 

He pushed her against the stone floor and left the room. Ariya rolled onto her side and brought her knees against her chest and sobbed hard. It was a lie, her mind tricked her, and Cullen was never there. She let that monster used her body and she took pleasure in it. Why? Why did she like it? Her body started to shake and the pain returned; it ripped through her body like a bolt of lightning. She closed her eyes and let sleep take her mind.

 

\--

 

Ariya rested her arms on the banister of the balcony. She watched the clouds fly by in the night sky and gaze out at the beautiful mountains. The cool breeze flew past and her hair swayed against the wind. Cullen never said anything. He was standing behind her leaning against the doorway. Ariya could feel his eyes lingering over her. She thought she would be relieved that she can speak openly and admit her shame to him, but she was afraid. Afraid he would look at her differently. She brought her hands up to her face and tried to hold herself together. She didn’t want to break down, she didn’t want to cry. She was tired of it, tired of everything. She ran her hands through her hair and took hold of her curls and bunched it up in her hands. Cullen stayed silent and didn’t say anything, he hates her. He thinks she’s dirty and worthless. Why would he want to stay with her? Why would he want to have a woman who is broken? Why would he be okay with this? Ariya’s anxiety took hold of her body and she couldn’t breathe. Her chest felt tight as if a large hand took hold and began to squeeze the life out of her. She was shaking; she was sobbing and trying to breathe. Her mind was running at an incredible speed. She could feel herself losing her balance and her body started to tumble back. Ariya gave into her fear and her body shut down. 

 

“Ariya, it’s okay.”

 

Her back was flushed against his chest and his arms were wrapped protectively around her. His warm embrace brought her back down and her fear started to subside. 

 

“It’s okay.”

 

His words were echoing in her head. Okay. She never thought she would ever be okay again. To hear her lover say it; made the stabbing pain she felt start to disappear. Ariya couldn’t help it and finally let herself cry. Her body was exhausted as if she was battling against a thousand demons in the fade. Cullen held onto her tightly and letting himself slide against the wall till they both hit the floor, bringing her into her lap. He let her cry and just held onto her. Ariya felt him run his fingers gently through her hair and slowly rubbed the small of her back. She placed her hand against his shirt and took a handful in her fist and sobbed harder. Cullen held onto her tighter as he rocked her in his warm embraced as he tried to calm her down. 

 

“Ariya, I mean it. It’s okay.”

 

Through her tears, she opened her eyes and looked up at him. He placed his hand against her cheek and brushed her tears away from her face. He smiled ever so sweetly at her and placed a small, gently kiss against her brow. Ariya loosened her grip on his tunic shirt and studied his face. He was genuinely happy. His honeyed eyes were warm and loving; he was looking at her like he did after their first kiss. Ariya didn’t understand why. How can he still see her like this? Why was he not disgusted by her? 

 

“W-why…?”

 

Cullen raised his eyebrow, he was confused. 

 

“Ariya listen to me. I will never look at you differently, I never have. You are still my Ariya.”

 

He placed his head against hers and closed his eyes.

 

“Those men may have taken your body but they will never have your soul. It is yours and yours alone. You are still you. Nothing they did was your fault, never has and never will be. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t expect you to be okay with everything in a matter of seconds, but know that I will always be here for you. Maker’s breath, Ariya I…”

 

He voice croaked as he trailed off. Ariya watched as he narrowed his eyebrows. He held onto her so tight, it was almost as if he was afraid to let her go.

 

“I love you Ariya Trevelyan.” 

 

Ariya hung her mouth open as she looked up at him with awe. He loves her. Within the short few months she knew this man, she never thought in a million years he would be the one to tell her he loves her. Her heart was practically leaping from her chest. She slowly lifted her shaking hands and placed them on either side of his cheeks. He smiled and leaned in to find her lips. Ariya smiled through his gentle kisses and her heart started to mend. The darkness was started to leave her mind and the light she found was in the arms of the man she loved. He was her light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed the flashback to get show what else had happened during her terrible time in that room instead of having Ariya just say it to Cullen. I'm happy to say the next few chapters will be happy, thanks to Cullen :)


	20. A Little Practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisition prepare their plans for The Winter Palace. Ariya asks Josephine for help with Cullen.

It had been weeks since Ariya returned to her duties as Inquisitor. She had a lot to catch up on and one of them was the threat against The Empress’ life. After going thought time with Alexius’ time magic, she had learnt about Corypheus’ plan to assassinate The Empress. In a matter of a year he had taken over Thedas and turned it into his own personal hell. Ariya knew they had to stop it. Leliana and Josephine were able to get invitations for the Inquisition. They were all invited to The Winter Palace for The Empress’ ball party, but Josephine had explained it was just a chance for her to have the The Herald of Andraste to be in her presence. During the meeting, Ariya studied the map that was laid out on the war table. They had no leads or clues as to who would be the assassin. 

 

“We need to act now Inquisitor.”

 

Leliana shot her a stern look as she folded her arms.

 

“But we have no way of telling who it is, how can we be sure this person will strike during this ball?”

 

“We have no choice."

 

Josephine flipped through her clipboard and walked around the table to show Ariya her notes.

 

“Orlais is in a quail as it is. Her cousin Duke Gaspard seems to be causing trouble. You know how the Nobles are.”

 

Ariya placed her hands on her hips and looked at the Commander. His nose was buried in the reports he was reading. 

 

“If we have no choice then we must leave by the end of this week.”

 

Cullen looked up from the report.

 

“But Ari- Inquisitor… We do not have a plan.”

 

He rubbed the back of his neck as he started to blush a little. That was the first time Cullen let his formalities slip. 

 

“We’ll have to make it work as we go.”

 

As the meeting ended Cullen pulled Ariya aside to have them stay behind in the room. As the doors closed behind them, Cullen’s face changed. He placed his clipboard onto the table and crossed his arms on his chest.

 

“Ariya, I don’t think this is a good idea. Who knows who the assassin is? As far as we know, this person is working with Corypheus, your life is in much danger as The Empress.”

 

He placed his hands on her waist and pulled her close to his chest.

 

“I will not let them take you from me…”

 

After their talk in the dead of night on the balcony, Cullen had been very protective of her, Ariya didn’t mind, she needed someone to lean on. It had been weeks since he confessed his love for her, but Ariya still had not returned the favor, she was still unsure on how to express herself. She placed her hand against his stubble cheek and smiled at him.

 

“This is why you are coming Commander. I need you and your men to be ready if anything happens.”

 

She moved hands along his shoulders and played with the fur on his armor. 

 

“Nothing will happen… I promise.”

 

The corner of Cullen’s lips curled and he leaned in for a kiss. He tasted sweet, like honey. She stood on her toes and pressed into him and sighed in bliss. As they broke their kiss he rested his head against hers and closed his eyes.

 

“I love you.”

 

\--

 

The next couple of days were exhausting. Ariya brushed up on her skills with Josephine to confront all the nobles at Orlais. She grew up in a noble family under noble rules and she had grew up to become a lady, but it’s been some time since she had been at Ostiwick. After leaving to The Circle Ariya left her old life behind, and now with practicing with Josie, she realized how rusty she was.

 

“Remember to place both utensils onto the plate when you are finished with your meal Inquisitor.”

 

Ariya huffed and placed her knife next to the fork on the small plate. How could she forget all this? This was just a few basic skills; even a child could do it. 

 

“You’re smiling more these days.”

 

Ariya lifted her head to look at the Antivan woman. Josephine had been a good friend, but she never told her about what had happened to her back at the Mountains. She could never tell with her if she knew anything or not. 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You know what I am talking about. I’m happy he makes you smile.”

 

Ariya started to blush. She was talking about Cullen. But what she said was true, Ariya was finally healing and smiling. Just the sight of her Commander would be enough to get her heart rate up. She loved him, but she still had problems expressing how she felt about him. 

 

“He does. He’s… wonderful.”

 

Josephine smiled brightly at her and picked up the tea pot to the left of her. She poured a cup for Ariya and herself and placed the pot back down. As she took a sip, Ariya just stared into her cup. 

 

“Ariya, is something the matter?”

 

There was. It has been bothering here ever since that night Cullen came to her in the dead of night. With her knowledge, the Antivans are very romantic and passionate people. When Ariya first joined the Inquisition, she would always share romantic fairy tales with her. They shared that enthusiasm of romance, other than Cassandra, it was something she could not share with Dorian, who thought the entire thing was stupid and childish. Although the world of romance through fictional literature was enjoyable, Ariya had no experience of being with someone she actually loved. She had a fling or two at The Circle, but nothing serious.

 

“Josie… Have you ever been… in love?”

 

Josephine cocked her head to the side. She took a long pause and placed her folded hands onto the table. 

 

“Well… I have. Why do you ask?”

 

“It’s… well… Cullen.”

 

Ariya’s face blushed harder and the heat from the candles did not help. She twirled her fingers nervously through her curls and averted her eyes to her tea cup. She felt stupid, like she did when she was a young girl. The young stable boy who attended to the horse of her house had caught her eye. He was handsome, tall, kind, and quite muscular for a young man. Her heart leap out of her chest every time she would see him walk past in the courtyard. Her sisters would tease her about her little crush, but she could never act upon it. She was afraid. Afraid of embarrassing herself or be rejected for it. That’s exactly how she felt with Cullen. It wasn’t so more of fear for the rejection; it was fear for being a fool. Ariya shook her head and looked at her friend who was waiting patiently to continue. 

 

“How do you tell someone you… love them?”

 

Josephine smiled and placed her hand over her heart.

 

“Say how you feel. Let it come from your heart. It does not need to be an “I love you” it can be said or shown in many different ways. Have you not…?”

 

Ariya shook her head no and shamefully hung her head down.

 

“He told me he loves me so many times but… I never say it back.”

 

Josephine took hold of her hand that was resting on the table and gave her a small squeeze.

 

“My dear Inquisitor, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Love can be very intimidating. Knowing our Commander, he is a very patient man; I see the way he looks at you.”

 

Ariya lifted her head and was reassured from Josephine’s expression.

 

“All you need is a little practice, and I know who can help you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ariya is kinda acts like a young child around Cullen, can you blame her? Be prepared for more romantic chapters with Ariya and Cullen. :)


	21. Presentable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisition is preparing for their leave to The Winter Palace. Josephine's help comes to the aid of Ariya and helps her get ready for the events later that evening.

The day was upon The Inquisition, they were to set off to Orials tonight. Ariya sat nervously in her room waiting for Josephine’s mystery guest to show up. She promised she would help her, and she did. Ariya spent a few times a day with her practicing her confession for Cullen. At first it was completely absurd, but eventually she got use to declaring her love in front of her friend. After their small meetings she still had not revealed to her who would “help” her and in what way. 

 

There was a small knock on the door and Ariya called out for them to enter. She heard small footsteps followed by larger ones and the sound of glass clinking against each other. From behind the banister, Lady Vivienne appeared and after a few seconds she saw large horns rising from the darkness, it was The Iron Bull. In one hand was carrying a large basket filled with trinkets and bottles and in the other he had an assortment of clothing. 

 

“Hey Boss.”

 

“My dear Inquisitor.”

 

Vivienne gave a small bow as she entered the room and pulled the chair from behind her desk. She motioned her over to have a seat. Ariya quickly got up and sat herself in front of the intimidating woman. The Iron Bull placed the basket atop her desk and walked over to her bed to lay the pieces of clothing on the mattress. Vivienne ran her fingers through her curls and took a handful to inspect it.

 

“Hmm…”

 

Ariya opened her mouth to speak but she shushed her immediately.

 

“Yes my dear I am here to help. Josephine suggested I help you get ready for The Winter Palace. I brought Bull along to help me, isn’t that right dear?”

 

The Iron Bull winked at Ariya as he gave a nod.

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

Vivienne took a brush from the basket and combed gently through her hair. She motioned towards Bull and he quickly left to enter her restroom. When he returned he was holding a small tub containing water. He stood behind her and Vivienne told Ariya lean her head back. As she did, the enchanter washed her hair with sweet smelling oils.

 

“Don’t worry my dear; you will look presentable and fashionable in front of The Empress and her guests.”

 

“And you’ll be eye candy for the Commander.” Bull added.

 

Ariya started to blush while Bull gave a hearty laugh. 

 

\--

 

After spending nearly 4 hours getting cleaned, painted, sprayed, and dressed, Ariya was ready for the ball. Vivienne pushed her in front of a mirror to have her look at herself. She hardly recognized herself. Ariya was thirteen when she left Ostiwick to The Circle and her father didn’t allow her to paint her face and wear makeup. She envied her older sisters as they were a few years older than she was and was allowed. Ariya walked closer to the mirror and really looked at herself. Her hair was pinned and swept to the side exposing one side of her neck. Small diamonds were pierced on her ears and matched the lovely white pearls that hung from her neck. Her gown was a shade of emerald while the skirt was made of lace. Her corset hugged her curves tightly and emphasised her breasts. Her lips were painted red that matched the colour on her nails and her eye lids were exaggerated with a shade of brown tint.

 

Ariya smiled at herself, she felt beautiful. She hugged Vivienne and thanked her over and over again. The Enchanter gave a small laugh and retracted from her hug. When the Iron Bull returned to the room he gave a whistle as he walked towards his friend.

 

“Damn boss, you look hot! I wonder what Cullen will think of you.”

 

“Do you think he’ll like it?”

 

Bull crossed his arms on his large chest and chuckled.

 

“I doubt he’d keep his hands off you.”

 

Ariya blushed and turned back towards the mirror. She thought about Cullen and wondered how he would react to seeing her like this. Josephine’s words came into her mind. “Say how you feel. Let it come from your heart. It does not need to be an “I love you” it can be said or shown in many different ways.” Aside from the Inquisition business, if everything went well she agreed that she would confess her love to him. Ariya broke out of her daydream by the sound of Vivienne clapping her hands together.

 

“Now that you look presentable, I think it’s time to move onto the next patriot.”

 

She turned to Bull and eyed him up and down. The Iron Bull walked over to the desk and picked up the basket of goodies and stood in front of Vivienne ready to move. He raised his eyebrow when she didn’t.

 

“Hmm I wonder what sort of eye patch we should get you…”

 

“Wait what?”

 

“No, no. You cannot go shirtless in front of the nobles of Orials… Hmm let us see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I say I love the relationship between Vivienne and The Iron Bull lol Also I want to say for this fic I am going to have the entire party of the Inquisition at The Winter Palace, I just think it will be more interesting, but only 3 members will be accompany her with the battle of the assassin. Anyway let's see how Cullen will react to his beautiful woman. ^^


	22. My Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisition arrives at the Winter Palace and Dorian and Ariya have a chance to talk.

Ariya pushed the curtains aside and looked out the small window. She watched as some of Cullen’s men marched along and some ride on their horses. Ariya let out a sigh and pulled the curtains back. She thought this “protocol”, as Josephine called it, was completely unnecessary. Ariya sat back and crossed her arms across her chest. She looked over at Dorian who was having the time of his life. Once Josie mentioned the Inquisitor would need to be accompanied with someone when she arrives at the gate. Cullen had volunteered but Ariya needed him and his men to be ready once the Inquisition arrives in Orials, so Dorian happily took his place.

 

“I don’t see why you are so bothered by this. We are being whisked away to a palace while we enjoy tea comfortably in a luxury carriage.”

 

Dorian held his tea cup to his lips and took a small sip.

 

“I just think this whole thing is ridiculous. I know I’m the Inquisitor but I would rather ride on horseback. I’d even walk!”

 

“You’re part of the game now my dear. You’re the Inquisitor, the Herald of Andraste, and the daughter of Bann Travelyan. Whether you like it or not, it’s all necessary.” 

 

And it was, unfortunately. Ariya had all of these huge titles under her name and within a few months she was known as the youngest daughter of Bann Travelyan, to a mage of The Circle, to the Herald of Andraste, and now leader of the Inquisition. All thanks to Corypheus and the Elven orb he carries. As ridiculous as this was, if it meant the Inquisition can save the Empress and stop Corypheus’ plans, then it’s worth it. 

 

Dorian placed his hand on Ariya’s knee; his face was full of sorrow.

 

“Is something the matter?”

 

“Ariya… we haven’t talked much about… what had happened. I don’t mean to bring up old wounds but I feel like I need to say something to you.”

 

She placed her hand over his hand and gave a weak smile.

 

“Dorian it’s okay, we can talk about it, I owe you that much.”

 

He shook his head and placed his other hand atop hers.

 

“You don’t owe me anything Ariya. I just… why did you do that? I never forgave myself for any of it. I practically gave you to those monsters. Maker only knows the pain you have been through…” 

 

Ariya averted her gaze from Dorian and looked at the empty seats across from them. The memories of that day flooded her mind. The way Dorian looked at her when she begged the Red Templars to let him go. She held onto his hand a little tighter and closed her eyes.

 

“Because… Dorian they were going to kill you; did you really think I was going to let them do that?” 

 

“Ariya they hurt you!”

 

“I would rather have them hurt me like that a thousand times over if it meant you were safe! Dorian you’re my friend… you’re like the brother I never had, how could I let you die?”

 

Tears began to fall from Ariya’s face. Dorian pulled her in for an embrace and held her close.

 

“Ariya… thank you. You’re my friend, and I don’t have many. You’re… you’re like a sister to me, I mean we are practically family. I promise we’ll find those bastards, no one will ever hurt you like that again.”

 

Ariya wiped the tears from her cheeks and pushed herself off Dorian’s chest. He smiled at her and brushed her stray hairs back into place. Ariya placed her hand on Dorian’s shirt where her tears left a small stain.

 

“I think I ruined your shirt.”

 

Dorian looked down to inspect the patch and started to rub his fingers against it.

 

“Luckily we have Lady Vivienne with us, I’m sure she has extra clothing in her carriage. Besides blue isn’t really my colour.”

 

\--

 

After hours of waiting the carriage had finally stopped. Ariya pushed the small curtains aside and looked at the window. She could see the Winter Palace from here, a grand castle like building, with a gorgeous view of Orlais. There was a crowd of Noblemen and woman looking in her direction. 

 

“Inquisitor, are you ready?”

 

It was Josephine. Ariya looked over at Dorian who had his hand out towards her. Ariya smiled and took his hand.

 

“We’re ready Josie.”

 

As the stepped out of the carriage, Ariya looked around to see her friends and the nobles of Orials staring at her. Leliana was walking towards her with a man she had not seen before.

 

“Inquisitor Trevelyan, may I introduce Duke Gaspard.”

 

The Duke bowed and took Ariya’s hand and placed a small kiss on it. 

 

“Inquisitor, it is an honor to meet you. Welcome to the Winter Palace. This way please.” 

 

The Duke held out his arm and Ariya hooked her arm with his. The walked the courtyard towards the grand gates. All eyes were on Ariya, with her elegant gown, she has never felt like this before. As they walked up to the front gate, Gaspard turned to face her as he took her hand once again.

 

“My Lady Trevelyan, can you imagine what the Inquisition can accomplish with the full support of the rightful Emperor of Orials?”

 

“And which Emperor is that?”

 

Gaspard gave a small laugh and brought Ariya’s hand to his lips.

 

“The handsome, charming one of course, my Lady. I am not a man who forgets his friends. You help me, I’ll help you.” 

 

Gaspard gestured his hand forward and they continued to walk the garden. 

 

“My Lady, are you prepared to shock the court by walking into the ball with a hateful usuper? They will be telling this story until the next era.”

 

Gaspard unhooked their arms and turned to look at her. Ariya looked over at Dorian who smiled and gave her a wink. Truthfully she wanted to walk in with her handsome Commander, Cullen. Although she knows being at this ball is only meant for business, she couldn’t help but daydream. Her daydream quickly faded when she saw Josephine was looking at her nervously. She remembered what she told her “Remember Ariya, you are now playing the game.” As much as Ariya wanted to deflate Gaspard’s idea, she had to play along, no matter how revolting he was. Ariya quickly turned to face the Duke and gave him the brightest smile.

 

“I can’t imagine that crowd has seen anything better than us their entire lives.”

 

Gaspard moved closer to her and placed his gloved hand against her cheek.

 

“You are a woman who is after my own heart, my Lady. But I must inform you, there is an Elven woman, Briala. I believe she is hiding something, a conspiracy against my cousin, the Empress… Be careful. Well my Lady when you are ready please meet me at the front gates.”

 

He took a final bow and was off. Ariya gave a small huff and looked around the garden. She could see Cullen’s men stationed around the palace, they were ready, but was she? All the noble men and noble women around her could be the assassin, and how was she to know? The only clues they had been from the alternate universe at Redcliffe and the tip of the mysterious woman Briala. Dorian quickly came to Ariya’s side with wine in hand and rested himself against the stone wall.

 

“Drinking already I see, we haven’t even made our entrance, and I see you found a new shirt.”

 

Dorian held up his finger while he took a huge swig of the red wine.

 

“This is Orials, is it not? It’s never too early for wine. And I know what you’re thinking, “Dorian, purple is your colour.” Right?”

 

“That’s exactly what I was thinking, come on let’s head inside.”

 

Ariya took Dorian’s arm and the quickly headed into the palace. They were quickly stopped when Josephine came running after them.

 

“Inquisitior, remember what I said, you’re part of the game now, what you say will be crucial, it is a matter of life and death. Our priority is to find the assassin but we must uphold our own for the nobles.”

 

“I understand Josie, although you may want to give a small pep talk to Sera… and The Iron Bull.”

 

Ariya turned back to Dorian and they quickly headed into the palace. As they walked away Ariya could hear Josephine saying a prayer to the Maker, they were going to need it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would never survive in Orials can I just say, I would die at the Game lol But I thought it was important for Ariya and Dorian to talk, even if it was a small conversation. I hope everyone is enjoying so far!


	23. For you, I'll try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crisis at the Winter Palace is over and Ariya finally gets a chance to breathe.

It was over. The threat against Empress Celine’s life was over, with the hints from some of the staff, party guests, and the poking around of Sera and the Red Jenny, Ariya was able to figure out who was the assassin. She never thought it would be the Empress’ own cousins, who conspired to murder her, but then again she was in Orials, the Game doesn’t stop for anyone it seemed. 

 

Ariya walked over the bannister of the balcony and rested her arms against it. The smell of fine foods from the main hall made her stomach rumble, she never got a chance to have a break to eat, not to mention to spend any time with Cullen. She was so busy running around trying to gather any information while being flocked by the nobles. Everything time she would pass where Cullen was standing, she could see the crowd of women, and a few men, gawking at him. It made Ariya laugh and it was clear Cullen wasn’t use to the enormous amount of attention on him.

 

Ariya pushed of the banister when she heard something jumped down onto the tile floor. When she turned she saw Cole standing there with a plate of food. She smiled at the young man as he came over to her side. 

 

“It burns, the empty feeling, tired, exhausted. You need to eat; I came to help stop the hurt.”

 

Ariya took the plate of food from him and began to eat the small pieces of chicken. Ariya chewed her food with delight, it seemed like she hadn’t eaten for days. 

 

“Thank you Cole, I really need this.”

 

“That’s what I do. I’m here to help.” 

 

Cole gave her a small smile and sat himself on the bannister, watching Ariya eat her plate of food. As Ariya finished her meal, Cole took the plate from her and gave her a quizzical look.

 

“Foolish, little girl. You are an adult, you are the Inquisitor, and you should not being acting so childish. It’s okay to want to be with him.”

 

And with that the boy vanished in thin air. Ariya loved Cole very dearly, but one thing that annoyed her was when he was right. What’s wrong with wanting to be Cullen right now? In the past month they haven’t had a moment to be alone, not since he came to her room that one night. She was feeling unsure about herself and her relationship, with everything that had happened it felt odd trying to go back to how everything was. Ariya wanted it so bad, but she wasn’t sure how it would affect her. She let out a sigh and slumped her arms over the bannister, resting her chin on her hands.

 

“There you are! Everyone’s been looking for you.”

 

It was Cullen. He stood beside her resting his arms against the banister as well. Ariya couldn’t help but smile like a fool. She was relieved to see him and thanking the Maker it wasn’t some nobleman trying to marry her.

 

“Things have calmed down for the moment. Are you alright?”

 

“I’m fine… I’m just worried.”

 

The music picked up again from inside the palace, the sound of laughter and people getting together for another dance. Cullen pushed himself off and walked behind her. When Ariya turned around he had his hand out towards her.

 

“Lady Trevelyan, may I have this dance?”

 

Ariya was appalled; she hesitated at first, and then finally took his hand. As he pulled her over to the middle of the floor, Cullen settled his hand along the small of Ariya’s back while she placed her hand on his shoulder. Ariya looked up at the handsome Commander and raise her eyebrow at him.

 

“I thought you didn’t dance.”

 

“For you, I’ll try.”

 

With that they swayed along with the music. For someone who doesn’t know how to dance, Cullen wasn’t half bad. Ariya watched as he averted his gaze to the ground to watch his feet, fearing he would accidentally step on her. She smiled. Ariya took comfort in the thought that Cullen would practically do anything to make her happy. She placed her hand under his chin and lifted his head, causing his amber eyes to be fixed on her.

 

“It’s alright Cullen you’re doing fine.”

 

“Really? I’m afraid I’ll trip on myself and fall over. I don’t have much experience with balls or any formal events to be honest.”

 

“Honestly you’re not missing much. My father occasionally hosted events like these in Ostwick, according to my mother; it was “required” since he was Bann. I just think it was an excuse so that my siblings and I could find future husbands and wives.

 

Cullen smiled and pulled Ariya closer.

 

“Did you ever find your future husband?”

 

“You’re joking right? I was the youngest among the five of us. Every young woman practically threw themselves at my brother since he was the oldest among us and heir to my father. It was also not difficult for my three older sisters either. The twins were tall and beautiful, and my eldest sister Viola was pretty much a Goddess, well according the men who wanted to court her.”

 

“That means you have had plenty of young men coming your way as well, right?”

 

“Sure. The short, awkward child, youngest daughter of Bann Trevelyan, and who was considered “plain” among my other sisters. Not to mention the fact my father babied me until I left for The Circle. He would always tell my mother “No boy is worth my princess.” He would always say that…”

 

Ariya trialed off thinking of her family, she never realized how much she missed them. It had been years since she had been able to back to Ostwick and formally visit them. The last time she saw her father and mother was just last year, when they came to visit her in the Circle. She knew that Leliana had sent word to her family about the incident back in the mountains and they requested to see her, but Ariya wouldn’t allow it. There was no way she was going to let her family see her in a defeated state. Maybe when her business with the Inquisition and Corypheus was finished she can go see them.

 

“Do you think your father would approve of me?”

 

Ariya snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Cullen. Would her father approve of him? He was handsome sure, but he is not of noble birth like she was. He was a Templar back in Kirkwall and now Commander to the Inquisition. She knew her father would rather have her settle for some Lord and have a quiet life, but he knew better than that. 

 

“I can’t say, but I’m sure my father would want me to be happy and you make me happy, so maybe that’s enough.”

 

“I’m glad.”

 

The music had finally ended and Cullen planted a kiss on Ariya brow as he sighed with relief. He took her hand once more and they both headed back towards the bannister and looked out over the palace gardens. Cullen shifted closer to her and slid his arm around her waist. Ariya rested her head against his shoulder and held onto his other hand. He smelled like spices and his embrace felt warm. Ariya tried so hard not to just fall asleep on him. She was worn out, but mostly worried. Once again Corypheus was able to gain another disciple. Ariya just knew this was the calm before the storm, standing here with Cullen.

 

“I never had a chance to tell you, you look very beautiful tonight Ariya.”

 

Ariya lifted her head and looked up at her lover. She could feel her face blush, even though she had been with Cullen for a few months he was still capable of making her feel excited about anything. Just like the rush of feelings she would have everything she saw him the first time she met him. Ariya watched his honeyed eyes as the trialed down towards her red lips. 

 

“I didn’t think that was possible, I must be a mess after running around this place while fighting crazy relatives of the Empress.”

 

Cullen gave a laugh. “You could be wearing tatty old clothes and your hair in a tangled mess and I would still find you beautiful.”

 

Ariya knew for sure this time her cheek was flaming red. She bit her lip and inched closer to him and he did the same. Cullen placed her hand against her burning cheek and pulled her close until her breasts were pressed against his chest. With that Ariya closed her eyes and felt his breath against her skin as he came close to her lips.

 

“Oh! Excuses me! I didn’t realize this balcony was occupied already. Please forgive us Inquisitor.”

 

Ariya jumped away from Cullen and looked up to see Josephine and Blackwall standing there staring at them. Josie’s was blushing while Blackwall avoided his eyes with either of them. Cullen gave a small cough then rubbed the back of his neck.

 

“No! No, it’s alright… um…”

 

“If you’ll excuse us.”

 

Cullen quickly took hold of Ariya’s hand and pulled her along as they both quickly left the balcony. Ariya took a look back at Josie and Blackwall, maybe she was imagining it, but it almost looked like they were together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe Cullen is so cute, I just can't you guys XD also I've seen it before, people are weirded out by the little crush Blackwall as on Josie, and they call it "stalking". Are you serious? Josie likes him to, I ship them. Also I'm so sorry. Cullen always gets interrupted in sweet/hot moments huh?
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoyed this little fluffy dance with Ariya and Cullen next chapter is about to steamy lol


	24. His want and desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen surprises Ariya with something special and Ariya returns the favour by saying something he has been waiting for a long time.

Ariya had no idea where Cullen was taking her, but wherever they were going it had better be where no nosey nobles can watch them. Every person they pass would stop whatever they were doing and would just stare. Cullen had his hand firmly around Ariya’s which surprised her very much. He was not a man of public affection and would rather keep his personal affairs between himself and Ariya. It never really bothered her and Ariya preferred if wandering eyes weren’t following their every move, but tonight he didn’t care.

 

They pushed passed everyone until they reached the end of the main hall. Ariya looked over to see Dorian and The Iron Bull staring at the both of them. They both had devilish smiles branded on their faces. Bull started to make kissy faces followed by thumbs up Ariya rolled her eyes at the both of them. Cullen opened the grand door and gesture his hand towards the other room.

 

“After you my Lady.” He said while giving a grin.

 

Ariya mocked Cullen and took hold of her green gown and gave a small curtesy. As they entered the empty room, Cullen looked around to make sure no one was in the room, checking every corner. When he returned to Ariya he took her hand and led her to the back of the room.

 

“Turn around and close your eyes.”

 

“What?” Ariya raised her eyebrow at him and crossed her arms against her chest.

 

“Do you trust me?”

 

She nodded her head and turned around slowly. Ariya took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She heard him walk away towards the doors. His heavy footsteps echoed across the wooden floor following along with the rhythm of Ariya’s heartbeat. She heard him turn the lock on the door and the sound of him turning on his heel. Ariya began to feel a little nervous. What in Andraste’s name is he doing? Cullen finally stood behind her; she could feel the heat off his body against her back.

 

“Are your eyes still closed Ariya?”

 

She shook her head in agreement and heard him shuffling around in his pocket. Ariya swallowed hard and began to fidget with her fingers. She could hear the sound of something soft rusting against each other and then something opening up. After a few more seconds, Ariya felt something cold against her chest. Cullen leaned against her and gave a small kiss on her cheek.

 

“You can open your eyes now.” He whispered.

 

Ariya slowly opened her eyes and looked down at her chest. It was a beautiful silver necklace with a small pendant of a silver horse. She picked it up and inspected it closely. The horse was standing on it back legs and its hair was golden yellow. She smiled and turned to face Cullen.

 

“This is the sigil of my house. Where did you…?”

 

“I had some help from our spymaster and diplomat.”

 

She was touched. No one had ever done anything like this for her. Even in her teenage years at the Circle. No one had paid much attention to her, no one care like this for her and Ariya could feel her heart swell with happiness.

 

“Thank you. Cullen, this is so beautiful, I… I really don’t know what to say.”

 

“You don’t have to say anything else. I’m glad you like it.”

 

Ariya jumped up and threw her arms around her Commander catching him off guard. Cullen stumbled back but recovered and wrapped his arms around her waist. As they settle back down, Ariya placed her hand against his shaven face and smiled brightly at him. Her heart was racing and her stomach was tying knots. 

 

“I love you Ariya.” 

 

That was it, the one thing she wanted to do while she was here in Orials. She practiced for hours every single day the past week with Josephine. She blurted her feelings out to her friend over and over again. Now the moment had finally come, this was her chance to finally say what she had wanted to say to him. 

 

“Cullen… I… love you too.”

 

Ariya watched as Cullen’s eyes widen. For a moment he couldn’t say anything and she held her breath. Should she have waited a little longer? Did he think she did not mean it? Ariya was scared; she could feel her nerves piling in the pit of her stomach. Finally a soft smile broke across Cullen’s face. He rested his head against her brow and held onto her waist a little tighter. He sighed happily and broke into a small laugh. 

 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that…” Ariya watched as he closed his eyes still smiling like a fool. 

 

“Ariya…”

 

Cullen crashed his lips against her in a searing kiss. Ariya had never felt him kiss her like this before, so urgent, so wanting, and so right. She loved it and melted under his touch. Cullen pushed his tongue past her parting lips and explored around her mouth. Ariya took hold of Cullen jacket and pulled him in closer. They began to stumble back until Ariya felt the cold marble press against her back. Cullen took hold of her cheek and pushed himself against Ariya’s body. She could feel his arousal pressing up against her, that’s when Ariya’s nerves returned.

 

Cullen started to trail his kisses towards her neck and bit against her sensitive skin. A moan escaped her lips as he bit down harder. Ariya ran her fingers through Cullen’s blonde curls and felt her arousal start to build within her. She loved the way he touched and kissed her yet Ariya’s anxiety wasn’t leaving her. She was confused, why was she getting scared? 

 

“You’re so beautiful.” Cullen muttered against her neck.

 

Ariya placed a kiss against his head as he continued to kiss her neck, then her shoulder, then slowly trailing towards her chest. Ariya could feel her heart racing a million miles in her chest. Her breathing quickened as Cullen placed his hand over the swell of her breast. Ariya jumped under his rough touch and she started to panic more.

 

“Cullen…”

 

Ariya opened her eyes and looked down at her lover. He was leaving kisses all over her chest then he moved his hand over the strings that held the corset together. He started to pull them apart one by one.

 

“Cullen.”

 

Ariya’s corset started to come undone as her heavy breasts started to push through the fabric. She could see Cullen’s eyes hazed over with his lust for her. She wanted him so bad, but this didn’t feel right, she was scared and didn’t understand why. Another string came undone and Ariya could feel her body tensing up. She couldn’t take it anymore, she wasn’t okay. Ariya quickly took hold of Cullen’s wrists and pulled them away from her chest.

 

“Cullen!”

 

He shot his eyes up and looked at Ariya, he blinked for a moment then the guilt was written all over his face. Ariya could feel her eyes started to water and her body was trembling. She felt like her body was paralyzed, exactly like how she felt when she was taken by those Red Templars, like a holy smite was casted against her and she couldn’t move. Cullen quickly reacted and took hold of her shaking hands.

 

“Ariya I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. Maker, please forgive me. I didn’t mean to… I shouldn’t have done that…”

 

Ariya opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out, she just looked at Cullen and saw the sadness in his eyes. She knew he never meant to hurt her, but Ariya didn’t understand why this was happening all over again. Why would she frighten? She loved Cullen and he loved her. She knew they wanted each other, but why was her body reacting this way? 

 

Cullen hesitantly placed his arms around Ariya’s body and pulled her to his chest. Ariya couldn’t help but cry; this burst of emotion she didn’t understand just came pouring out of her. She could feel Cullen’s embrace tighten as she started to sob harder. Ariya held onto his jacket and buried her face into it. She felt one of his hands against her head followed by his lips atop it. 

 

“Ariya, I’m so sorry. I crossed the line; I should have never done that… Please forgive me.”

 

Ariya pushed herself off his chest and looked up at him. Cullen wiped the tears that were falling from her cheeks. 

 

“It’s fine…”

 

“It’s not. I promised I would never hurt you and look what I’ve done…”

 

Cullen closed his eyes and hung his head in shame. Ariya knew he never meant to hurt her, but she couldn’t bring herself to talk with him about how she was feeling. She felt so stupid and childish. Ariya looked down at her chest and began to lace her corset together. Cullen took a step back and turned away to give her some decency. Once she finished, Ariya tried her best to readjust herself and to straighten out her hair. She tapped Cullen on the shoulder; she could still see the guilt branded on his face.

 

“We should go look for the others. I think it’s best if we head back to Skyhold.”

 

Cullen nodded in agreement and walked beside Ariya as they headed for the doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry guys. :( This was a bittersweet chapter. I really want them to be with each other but Ariya needs to work out a few things first. I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far!


	25. Forgive me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya and Cullen begin to avoid each other. Something else is keeping them apart.

It had been a few days since the Inquisition had returned from the Winter Palace. With the Empress’ life safe and the alliance with Orials was secure, Ariya had felt they were finally catching up with Corypheus. While they were at the palace she had met a strange woman named Morrigan, unsure of her motives Ariya was hesitant to let her help but according to Leliana they once knew each other and could prove to be useful.

 

Either way Ariya was distracted, after the incident with Cullen he had been distant during their meetings, avoiding her, and lately he had been spending most of his time in his tower. Ariya was starting to worry, they had talked a little about what had happened, but maybe it wasn’t enough.

 

Ariya stepped out of the great hall and stopped at the edge of the grand staircase. She looked up at Cullen’s tower and let out a small sigh. She was debating whether or not she should go up there and try to talk with him. To be fair, she was avoiding him as well, but she knew in her heart this was the wrong way to go about it. 

 

“You okay Princess?”Ariya turned to see Varric holding a stack of papers in his hand.

 

“I can’t lie to you Varric, I’m really not.” Varric nodded and looked up at Cullen’s tower.

 

“Well you know standing here won’t make him come to you. Just talk to him Ariya. I’m sure whatever you two are going through you’ll work it out. He loves you after all.”

 

Ariya watched as the dwarf walked away with his stack of papers. He was right. If she keeps avoiding him, they will never be able to make their relationship work. She wasn’t mad at him nor disappointed, somehow Ariya felt this was her fault. Ariya took a deep breath and turned back into the great hall. 

 

\--

 

Ariya was standing in front of Cullen’s door. Her stomach was twisting and turning as if she had fallen through a void. She slowly raised her shaking hand and gave a small knock against the wooden door. She waited and waited, but there was no answer. Odd, she had seen him head straight for his tower right after their meeting. Ariya slowly turned the handle and poked her head into the room, no one was there. She stepped in and looked around, his desk was covered with piles and piles of reports like always but there was also a small brown box in the middle of the cluttered mess. 

 

Ariya walked around the desk and took a close look at the box. She didn’t want to be so nosy but she couldn’t help it. She picked up the box and inspected it. There was a golden latch at the front and it was locked. When she flipped it around there was a small engraved symbol of the Templars. What is this and why would Cullen have it?

 

“Inquisitor.”

 

Ariya dropped the box startled by the recruit that had stepped into the office. She scrambled around and picked up the box from the floor and placed it back onto Cullen’s desk.

 

“Uh… Have you seen Commander Cullen?”

 

“Yes your worship. He’s with Seeker Cassandra at the blacksmith’s.”

 

Ariya thanks the recruit and quickly left the tower. She looked over the battlements and focused her attention the blacksmith’s room. All of the men and women who worked there were standing outside. Ariya quickly headed down to the courtyard and made her way to the room. As she opened the door she could hear Cassandra and Cullen arguing around something.

 

“No, it’s no necessary.” 

 

“I asked for your advice.”

 

“And I gave it. You do not need it, you have been doing well.”

 

“I asked for your help Cassandra, that doesn’t mean I have to do what you say.”

 

“You asked for my help and I gave it! You were the one who asked to watch your progress.”

 

As Ariya got closer to the two finally settled down and turn to look at her. She could see the sadness in Cullen’s eyes, as if he did something terribly wrong. He started to walk towards her then stopped as Ariya inched closer to him. He hung his head and whispered.

 

“Forgive me.”

 

Ariya watched as her lover left the room sullenly. She was confused. Was he talking about what had happened at the palace? She was never mad at him, she was just overwhelmed. As she watched the door close, Cassandra stood beside her with her arms crossed against her chest. 

 

“And people say I’m stubborn.” 

 

“What’s wrong? Is Cullen okay?” Cassandra sighed and placed her hand on Ariya’s shoulder.

 

“Everything is alright. You know that Cullen use to take lyrium when he was Templar correct?”

 

Ariya nodded nervously, she knew Cullen had to take lyrium, it was part of being a Templar. She had had a few Templar friends back at the Circle and knew the process. She was aware this was their source of power in order to have control over the mages. Cullen had only briefly talked about his time of being a Templar over their weekly chess games, but he would never go in depth with it. Ariya could sense he was very uncomfortable talking about his time there so she would always avoid it.

 

“He’s not talking it again, is he?” Cassandra shook her head and Ariya let out a sigh of relief.

 

“He had come to me to watch over him. He had been off of it since I asked him to join the Inquisition. He has been doing well but now he believes he should be taking it again. It’s not necessary.”

 

Ariya tilted her head as she looked at her friend. Is this why he has been avoiding her? Ariya got the feeling he had been hiding the fact he needed help because she needed help from him. She started to feel guilty; she should have known something else was wrong.

 

“Why hasn’t he come to me about this?”

 

“Because he doesn’t want to… disappoint you.” 

 

She felt her heart drop. He could never disappoint her, especially when he needed help. Cullen was there when she needed help and now it was his turn. Ariya thanked Cassandra and quickly left to Cullen’s tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH it made me sad about Cullen's lyrium withdrawls that shit messes with people. If you played Dragon Age Origins there's a Templar in Denerim who loses his memory because he has been on it so long, it was really sad.


	26. Endure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya confronts Cullen about his lyruim withdrawals.

Ariya made a quick stride across the courtyard and headed straight for the stairs. As she approached the tower she could see the door was left wide open. Ariya quickly made over to it then in a blink of an eye something came flying towards her. She quickly jumped out of the way and watched as the brown box shattered in pieces onto the stone floor, the same box she was looking at on Cullen’s desk.

 

“Maker’s breath! I didn’t hear you enter.” Ariya stepped over the mess and slowly approached Cullen. He hung his head in shame and let out a sigh.

 

“Forgive me…” 

 

“Cullen please talk to me.”

 

“You don’t need to-“ 

 

Cullen hunched over and let out a small grunt of pain. Ariya quickly came to his side and tried to put her around him but Cullen refused her help. He held himself against the desk and looked up at Ariya. She could see the pain on his face. He looked tired and the bags under his eyes had returned. He was sweating furiously. Ariya lifted her hand and whipped his brow. 

 

“I never meant for this to interfere.” Ariya cupped his cheek and Cullen nuzzled into her small hand. He closed his eyes and looked defeated.

 

“Are you going to be alright?”

 

“Yes… I don’t know.”

 

Cullen took her hand from his cheek and placed it back to her side. Ariya watched as he started to pace back and forth around the room.

 

“You asked me once about the Fereldan Circle.” 

 

Ariya nodded nervously. She was part of the Circle in the Free Marshes but she had heard terrible things that had happened in the Circle of Fereldan. There were rumors of blood magic, Tevinter magisters, demons, and abominations living within the tower. Ariya never really believed it because most of the time it was just her friends making up stories but when she asked Cullen about it, he would always grow quiet.

 

“It was taken over by abominations. The Templars- my friends… we’re all slaughtered.” 

 

Cullen turned around and walked over to the small window and placed his hands against the stone wall. He took a moment to breathe.

 

“I was tortured.” He pushed off the wall and turned back to face Ariya.

 

“They tried to break my mind! And I- how can you be the same person after that?! Still… I wanted to serve. They sent me to Krikwall. I trusted my Knight-Commander and for what? Her fear of mages ended in madness. Kirkwall’s Circle fell, innocent people died in the streets.”

 

Cullen quickly walked over to Ariya and took hold of her wrists. Ariya was taken a back and tried to back away but his grip on her was strong. 

 

“Can’t you see why I want nothing to do with that life?!” 

 

Ariya blinked and looked up at him. The fire in his eyes had shown how badly he was effective by all of this. She stepped a little closer and looked into his eyes with concern.

 

“Cullen, of course I can. I-“

 

“Don’t. You should be questioning what I’ve done.” Cullen released Ariya’s wrists and started to pace around nervously again.

 

“I thought this would be better – that I would gain some control over my life. But these thoughts won’t leave me…Now many lives depend on our success. I swore myself to this cause. I will not give less to the Inquisition than I did to the Chantry. I should be taking it!”

 

Cullen snapped and ran his fist through his bookshelf sending a few books flying off the shelf. Ariya jumped at his reaction, she had never seen him so upset and angry like this. The only time she had seen him mad was when he took her to the infirmary after the incident. Ariya slowly approached him and placed her hand against his shaking arm.

 

“This doesn’t have to be about the Inquisition Cullen. Is this what you want?” Cullen uncurled his fist and let his arm fall to his side. He lifted his head slowly and looked at Ariya. 

 

“No…”

 

Ariya pulled him in for an embrace and held him tightly. Cullen was fighting hard to control his breathing. He rested his head against her shoulder and sighed against her neck. Ariya ran her fingers through his blonde curls and tried to soothe him. 

 

“But these memories have always haunted me. If they become worst, if I cannot endure this…”

 

He lifted his head and looked at Ariya with sad eyes. He was scared. Ever since she had known him, he was always so brave and so sure about himself and his position as Commander of the Inquisition. During their meetings, if Ariya was unsure about a decision he would always be there to assure she was making the right choice, whether he agreed with her or not. But seeing him so vulnerable and afraid made Ariya realized he’s still human, just Cullen. Ariya lifted her hand and placed it against his stubbled cheek. Cullen leaned forward and rested his head against hers. Ariya watched as he closed his eyes and waited for her to say something. 

 

“You can.” Cullen slowly opened his eyes and lifted his head. He gave a small nod.

 

“Alright.” 

 

Ariya placed a small kiss against his cheek and gave him a shy smile. Cullen took hold of her hand and gently held them in his gloved ones. Ariya blinked and tilted his head; he looked like he wanted to say more but was unsure of how to say it. He paused for a moment then finally said what they had been avoiding for a long while.

 

“Ariya… it’s not only about the Inquisition, I never meant for this to interfere with you. That night… I never meant to hurt you or frighten you. I don’t know what came over me, I guess I just wanted to find another way to keep my mind off of things, off of this, but that doesn’t excuse what I did.”

 

Cullen wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in close. Ariya watched his amber eyes turn glossy, the sorrow on his face was great and guilt was shining through. 

 

“I should have never stepped over your boundaries Ariya. I love you, with all my heart; Maker knows how much you mean to me. I will never do that again without your permission, you have my word.”

 

Ariya wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Cullen sighed against her lips and pushed himself into her. Ariya ran her fingers through his hair and gripped him gently. When they broke their kiss Cullen’s face finally soften.

 

“Thank you Cullen, but know this, whatever you are going through you can always come to me. I care about you and I want to be there for you like you have been for me. I love you too remember?”

 

Cullen gave a small laugh pulled her in for another warm embrace.

 

“Alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cullen why?!?! I felt so sad when he tell the Inquisitor about the lyrium, whether I romanced him, romanced someone else or made my Inquisitor an asshole I could never tell him to take it :(


	27. Withdrawals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya seeks help for Cullen's lyrium withdrawals.

Ariya slowly opened her eyes and looked around the room. She shivered against the cold breeze that flew into her bed chambers. She took hold of her blanket and tucked her naked body under them and curled into a ball. All Ariya could think about was Cullen, she was worried about him. The talk they had the day before still hung over her. She knew he didn’t want to take lyrium regardless of his position in the Inquisition, but maybe she was wrong. Being a mage, Ariya knew she used lyrium differently from the Templars. Ingesting the stuff was never harmful for her because her body could harvest it into magic but for Cullen the effects were clearly draining on him.

 

Ariya rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling of her room. She watched as a few dandelion seeds blew into the room. What if she allowed Cullen to find a substitute for his lyrium withdrawals? Would it help? She wanted to help him get through it but wasn’t sure what to do. She needed to talk to someone who was an expert with the substance. Ariya only knew the basics from her training at the Circle. She could ask Dorian or Vivienne, but maybe she needed someone who knew magic like no one else.

 

\--

 

Ariya stood in front of the wooden door nervously. She looked around the great hall to see if anyone was around, it was still very early, and not even Varric was awake at this hour. She took a breath and gave a small knock. Ariya waited a few moments until she head footsteps approaching the door. As it opened, Solas was standing before her.

 

“Good morning Inquisitor. Did you need something?”

 

“Um… Yes. Do you mind if I come in to talk?” 

 

Solas nodded and stepped aside to let her into his room. Ariya quickly stepped in and looked up at the tower. She couldn’t see anyone leaning over the banister nor hear anyone talking. The only sound she could hear was Leliana’s crows squawking about. She never understood why Solas decided to choose this room to stay in, but his murals he had painted were very beautiful. As he closed the door, Solas gestured his hand to the chair in front of his desk. Ariya took a seat and took a look on what was on his desk. Ruins, spell books, maps, and even magic crystals. Ariya could recognize a few of the books but most of them were Elven. She was always interested in their magic; Ariya had always found it so fascinating. She had a few Elven friends back in the Circle but they were being so watched over the Enchanters and Templars, Elven magic was often discouraged. 

 

Solas took his seat in front of Ariya and picked up the teapot at the edge of the desk. He grabbed two cups within the drawer of the desk and placed them on the wood. He took the pot and poured the hot drink into both cups. The smell of elfroot tea filled the room. Solas handed her the cup and smiled.

 

“Thank you Solas.”

 

“You’re very welcome. Now, what is it that I can do for you?” Ariya looked into the cup and stared at the green liquid. 

 

“Do you know anything about lyrium addictions?” She looked up from her cup and tried to read the elf’s face. 

 

“I do. Is this about the Commander?” Ariya nodded as she took a sip of her tea.

 

“I see. Well what would you like to know? I’m sure you have knowledge of lyrium being a mage and your time at the Circle.”

 

“As a mage I do, but as a Templar, I don’t. I just want to know if there is anything I can do for him. I know there are other alternatives to satisfy his cravings for it, but I’d prefer if he didn’t use lyrium at all.”

 

Solas took a sip of his tea then made a disgusting face. Ariya remembered he mentioned to her once that he hated the stuff, but she never argued with him. Solas opened another drawer from his desk and pulled out another book. He quickly skimmed through the pages until he landed on the chapter titled “Lyrium”. Solas flipped the book around and pushed it across to show Ariya.

 

“I’ve taken note that Cullen has been experiencing mostly physical symptoms, correct? Fatigue, hunger pangs, and insomnia. I often see his tower lit very late at night. Has he suffered any other symptoms? Perhaps forgetfulness?”

 

Ariya shook her head. Thank the Marker Cullen’s side effects is not that severe. She knew many senior Templars who have been taking lyrium for most of their life and had ended up paying a terrible price by losing their memory. She can’t imagine what it would be like if Cullen had lost his. Solas turned the page and pointed a small paragraph on the page.

 

“It seems that the Commander’s symptoms are not severe but he is still at a high risk. I would advise against any substitute, I wouldn’t think it wise for his health, but there are other methods that can ease his pain. It is often used by herbalists, deep mushrooms.”

 

Ariya raised her eyebrow at the mage. Deep mushrooms? Are they not poisonous? Ariya knew most of these mushrooms were found underground and most famously found within the Deep roads. They are very popular in dwarven cultures. 

 

“Deep mushrooms generally grow around lyrium, it is said they can be used to combat withdrawal symptoms. They are safe to eat in small portions. There is also a second option, if he would prefer not to eat them. You can have it be turned into ointment and apply it directly onto the skin. These are the best and safest options for him.”

 

Ariya tucked her red hair behind her ear and took a look at the diagram under the paragraph. She would need to go out and gather some deep mushrooms, possibly within the Hinterlands or near the Storm Coasts. 

 

“Thank you Solas. I believe this is the best way.”

 

“If you would like I can accompany you and help you collect some.”

 

“Yes please!”

 

Solas gave a chuckle and stood up from his chair. He picked up the book from the table and flipped through a few more pages then finally closed it. He circled the desk and gave the book to Ariya.

 

“Please Inquisitor keep this book. I think it can be proven useful to you and further your knowledge of herbs and magic.” 

 

Ariya thanked him again and headed out of the east tower walking into the grand hall. There was still no one around expect Varric who had finally woken up. He looked up from his paper and gave her a quizzical look at Ariya.

 

“Morning Princess.” Ariya flashed a smile and walked over to his table.

 

“Why are you smiling like that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Solas dude. His character is so complex and wonderful (also was my first Inquisitor's romance ^^) anyway next chapter will start to get fluffy and sweet again. :) Hope you are enjoying so far!


	28. Stay With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya tries to help ease Cullen's pain with her new research.

Ariya slumped her way up the stairs to the bed chambers slowly. She threw her traveling bag onto her bed and sigh softly. It had been a long day scouting around the caves of the Hinterlands looking for deep mushrooms. Thanks to Solas, they had gathered enough to make it both into an ointment and to have some left over to eat. Although Varric never grew up as a traditional dwarf, she had asked for help on how to cook and eat them properly. 

 

She opened up her bag and pulled out the bottles of ointment and placed them on the table beside her bed. She quickly went into her storage room and placed the bag on the hook that was on the wall. Ariya looked down at herself to see her robes covered in mud and dirt. She quickly undressed herself and threw her dirty armor and clothes onto the floor. Ariya walked over to the balcony doors and opened them up. She stretched her body and walked over to her wardrobe looking through her clothing. She picked up a shirt to inspect it then quickly placed it back. After rummaging through her wardrobe she heard heavy footsteps climbing the stairs.

 

“Ariya I have some report I need you to go- Oh!”

 

She turned around and wrapped her arms around her body. Cullen stood there with his mouth open as she dropped the stack of papers onto the floor. Ariya watched as his face started to burn red. He blinked a couple of times then quickly turned around and gave an awkward cough. 

 

“E-excuse me. I… I didn’t k-know…. Uh…”

 

Ariya grabbed a silk robe and tied it around her naked body. She tucked her hair behind her ears and placed her hand against her cheek. She could feel the embarrassment creeping across her olive skin. She walked over Cullen and tapped him on the shoulder. Cullen turned around keeping his gaze to the ground. 

 

“I’m s-so sorry Ariya. I-“ 

 

Ariya gave a shy smile and began to play with her fingers. They stood there in an awkward silence for a long while until she suggested they clean up the stacks up papers that had scattered across her bed room floor. Cullen place the reports on her desk and turned to face her. Ariya was staring at the bottles on her night stand. Should she do it? Now? 

 

“How are you feeling today?” She looked back at him.

 

“It’s been the same, but I can endure.”

 

Ariya took his gloved hand and led him to her bed. She had him sit on the mattress and walked over to the table. Ariya picked up one of the bottles and sat beside him on the bed. He raised his eyebrow at her then looked down at the bottle. 

 

“I’ve been doing research about lyrium addictions. I want to help you Cullen, I don’t want to see you in pain.” Cullen smiled softly.

 

“Ariya I’m fine, you really don’t need to do this.”

 

“Cullen you’re not fine. You constantly in pain, you’re always tired, and you barely sleep. I don’t want you to suffer like this. No, I don’t want you to take lyrium substitutes because I believe it would do damage to you, but I found an alternative. Deep mushrooms.”

 

Ariya held up the bottle of blue oil, he was confused.

 

“Deep mushrooms? Aren’t those poisonous?” 

 

“Actually not really. They can be eaten in small doses or applied on the skin.” 

 

Cullen gave a chuckle and looked at Ariya’s green eyes.

 

“So would you like to try it? I mean you don’t have to, I just thought-“ Cullen took hold of her hand and gave her a firm squeeze.

 

“Ariya, I’ll try. So what exactly are you going to do?” Ariya bit her lip nervously and got up from her bed.

 

“You’ll need to take off your armor for this.”

 

Cullen stared at her for a moment then nodded and began to unhook his armor apart. He pulled off his gloves then the outer part of his armor. He unhooked his chest plate and placed it onto the wooden floor. He stood up and took off his sword belt and let it drop from his waist. Ariya watched as he stripped away all the pieces of his armor. He looked different, but a good different. She was starting to see how his body actually looked without all the clunky armor in the way. Cullen finally turned to face Ariya and waited for her instructions. 

 

“Uh… you might want to take that off too.” 

 

Cullen nodded and began to unlace his tunic shirt. Ariya could feel her face begin to burn again; she had never really seen Cullen’s body aside from the small peaks she was able to get when he was training in the courtyard without his armor on. As Cullen lifted his shirt over his head, Ariya’s eyes widen. She couldn’t help but stare at his muscular body. The way his chest was shape and how good his abs looked on him. She bit her lip trying to ignore her desires forming within her. 

 

“Ariya?” She blinked and brought her attention back to Cullen’s face. His cheeks were blushing but he was grinning at her with a devilish look in his eyes.

 

“Uh… W-well, I need you to lay down, I-I’m going to put this on your back… I-I mean if that’s okay.”

 

Cullen quickly climbed onto her bed and laid himself on his stomach. He turned his head to the side and watched as Ariya sat herself beside him. She could help but feel nervous, why? It’s not like they haven’t had any form of intimacy before, this just felt like it was so much more for some reason. Ariya pulled the cork from the small bottle and tipped it over onto her hand. She quickly placed the bottle onto the nightstand and rubbed her hands together to warm the ointment up. She looked down at Cullen shyly and slowly placed her hands on his back. Ariya began to smear the substance along his skin and worked her hands along the strains of his aching muscles. When she slid her hands up to his shoulders and pressed into him, Cullen let out a groan. 

 

“I’m sorry! Did I hurt you?”

 

“Maker no, that actually felt good.” 

 

As Ariya continued to work on his muscles, she watched as Cullen started relax and respond more to her touch. She had to keep fighting the urge to throw herself at him. She loved the way he felt against her.

 

“C-cullen, could you turn around? I’m going to put this on the other side of your body.”

 

Cullen slowly lifted himself and turned on his back. He looked up at Ariya with his honeyed eyes and watched her as she moved herself closer to his body. Ariya slowly smoothed her hands along his abdomen and trailed them along towards his chest. She could feel Cullen’s heart racing within his chest. Their eyes finally met and Ariya had enough courage to keep her gazed locked onto his. The air within the room felt warm and thick, she could feel his desires with just the look he was giving her. Cullen lifted his hand and placed it atop hers and held her in a grip.

 

“Ariya…” 

 

She could feel her heart skip a beat at the sound of her name. She wanted him, and he knew it, but after what had happened back at the Winter Palace, Ariya wondered if she would be okay at all to have any type of intimacy with him. Cullen slowly pushed himself off the bed and rested himself on his elbow. He reached out and cupped Ariya’s flaming cheek and caressed her gently. 

 

“I love you.” 

 

Ariya smiled and nuzzled into his hand. They stayed like that for a few more moments and Ariya could feel it again. The tension in the air was growing; it was hanging over them and slowly wrapping her body. She could feel her breathing quicken. Cullen’s eyes trailed down to the slit of her robe. Ariya let her gaze wander back down to Cullen’s naked half of his body then they finally had their eyes meet once again. She couldn’t take it anymore, she needed him. Ariya climbed over his body and straddled herself onto his lap. Cullen’s eyes widen, he was taken aback and gave his lover a confused look.

 

“Ariya you really don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

 

Ariya quickly pressed her lips against his and wrapped her arms around his neck. She could feel Cullen’s hesitation quickly fade away as he pressed into her kisses. Ariya couldn’t help but feel his arousal pushing through his pants. Cullen ran his fingers through her red hair and pushed his tongue past her parting lips. Ariya moaned into him and he reacted the same way. As their kisses started to heat up, Cullen took hold of her hips and rolled his into hers. Ariya could felt his arousal brush against her aching heat. Ariya let out a gasp and quickly pulled back. She looked at Cullen nervously.

 

“I-I’m so… sorry. Ariya… I-“

 

“It’s okay. Uh… M-maybe I should finish?”

 

Ariya smiled nervously and Cullen laid himself onto the bed keeping his hands away from her body. She began to massage his arms and slowly work her way towards his torso. What was wrong with her? It was obvious he wanted her and Ariya knew she wanted him. Then why was she afraid? 

 

After she finished, Ariya slowly got off the bed and took the remaining bottles into her storage room. When she returned she was Cullen collecting his armor, he was leaving. 

 

“It’s getting rather late… I should head back and finish the reports; I’ll be back in the morning to pick up the ones I left for you.” Cullen turned to look at Ariya and smiled shyly at her.

 

“Thank you Ariya, I’m starting to feel much better. Good night.”

 

Cullen turned on his heels and headed straight for her door. Ariya quickly ran after him and took hold of his arm.

 

“Stay with me.” Cullen blinked.

 

“Please Cullen, stay with me tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm teasing you! But real talk, even though Cullen is a fictional character, he's still hot as well. Bioware gave him a good body XD I am no ashamed to say that.


	29. It's Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback scene, Ariya needs help on how to approach Cullen about their sexual relationship, so she turns to her best friend, Dorian.

Ariya looked out at the view from her balcony. She was very thankful that Solas had led the Inquisition to this place. Aside from the fortress and advantage point, the view was breath taking. Ariya sighed and rested her elbows on the banister. Cullen was still avoiding her, but to be fair she was as well. They haven’t been able to discuss what had happened between them at the Winter Palace. Her anxiety had taken over and clouded her mind, being that close and intimate with him made her feel uneasy, but why? 

 

“Am I interrupting your daily ponder my dear?”

 

Ariya turned around to see Dorian. He smiled at her and walked over to the banister. Dorian looked down over the reach and inspected the structure of the floor.

 

“Exactly how high are we? This castle seems like it’s over a thousand years, how is it still in good shape?”

 

Ariya couldn’t pay any attention to what he was saying. He eyes were still focused on the mountains. As a breeze blew past them, Dorian finally caught on and looked at her seriously.

 

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

 

Ariya looked at her friend and bit her lip nervously. She didn’t know where to start, they haven’t really talked much about the incident, only briefly on their carriage ride to Orials. How would Dorian react if he knew the full story? Would he be accepting of her like Cullen did? Ariya twiddled her fingers about then looked at the Vint. 

 

“Ariya you know you can always talk with me. We are friend after all, are we not?”

 

“I… just don’t know where to begin.”

 

Dorian let out a sigh and took her by the hand. He led her back into Ariya’s bed chambers and sat her down in front of the mantle. Dorian casted fire on the wooden logs that were in the fireplace and went around Ariya’s desk to grab her desk chair. 

 

“Now that we are more comfortable, tell me what’s troubling you.”

 

Ariya looked over at the fire and took a breath. She couldn’t help but feel her nerves start to take over, but this was Dorian, her best friend. Ariya opened her mouth and everything came pouring out. What had really happened between her and those Red Templars. She told him about the pale man and how violent he was with her. She told him about all the men who had her and finally what happened between her and Cullen. After all of it, they sat in silence. She tried to read Dorian’s expression but she was still unsure on how he was feeling. 

 

“Ariya… I don’t know what to say. What those men did… if I ever get my hands on them, they’re dead.” Dorian sighed and lowered his head for a moment.

 

“Ariya there is nothing wrong with you. You had a traumatic experience, if being intimate scares you, I’m sure Cullen will understand. Have you told him that?” Ariya slumped in her chair and looked at her friend sullenly. 

 

“No…”

 

Dorian took hold of the arms of his chair and moved it closer to hers. He reached out and took hold of her hands. He began to stroke the back her hand and gave her a stern look.

 

“Ariya Trevelyan listen to me. That man loves you dearly. I know you are afraid to let people in, especially after what had happen, but you need to understand we all love and care about you, especially Cullen. You need to communicate with him, tell him you want to go slow on the intimate parts. The man was is a former Templar, I’m not a saint, but I’m sure those chantry boys had sworn off tumbling around with the ladies, or men, so this wouldn’t be a big problem for him.”

 

Ariya gave a laugh and gave a playful slap against his arm. Dorian held his hands up and laughed with her.

 

“What?! All I’m saying is no one says you need to sleep with the man. If you want your relationship to be hugs and kisses for now, then so be it. If you want to sleep with him a day from now that’s okay. Maybe you want to sleep with him on your wedding night, Ariya it’s all okay. No one says you have to do anything you don’t want to. Cullen would never hurt you like those men did; I know you’re afraid of that.”

 

Ariya couldn’t help it; she could feel the tear welling up in her eyes. To hear that it was okay to feel like, like she wasn’t alone and to know so many people cared, she started to feel at peace. Ariya threw her arms around her friend and pulled him in for a warm embrace. Dorian gave a laugh and held onto her tightly.

 

“And remember you can always come to me for some sex advice.” Ariya rolled her eyes and broke apart their embrace.

 

“Don’t give me that look; I happen to be an expert in the subject.”

 

“Well I guess it’s better to talk to you about this than, I don’t know, Cassandra?” Dorian clicked his tongue and waved his hand about.

 

“Cassandra? No offence to her but she gets her romance advice from Varric’s dumb books. I still don’t see the appeal of those horrendous stories.” 

 

“Hey, I still enjoy those horrendous stories.” 

 

Dorian gave a chuckle and got up from his chair. He held out his hand and Ariya took it.

 

“Come on my dear let’s get some tea and discuss how you are going to have sex with Cullen. I know a few moves I think he would enjoy.”

 

Ariya let out a groan and placed her hand over her eyes. Dorian really knew how to embarrass her. They both quickly left the room and headed back to the dining hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe Dorian is the best, every single playthrough of DA:I, Dorian is either my Inquisitor's best friend or lover :D How can you not like him? Anyway thanks everyone who gave kudos to my AriyaxCullen fic ^^ it means a lot <3


	30. All My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya and Cullen spend the night together.

They stood in the middle of her room, looking at each other shyly. Ariya couldn’t look Cullen in the eye; all she could hear was the sound of her heartbeat. Her body felt like ice, she couldn’t bring herself move. She finally had enough courage to ask Cullen to stay. Ever since her talk with Dorian a few days ago she started to think it was time to take her relationship with him further.

 

“I will if you want me to.”

 

Ariya looked up at him to see the blush across his cheeks. She gave a small nod and finally took his hand and led him back to her bed. Her conversation with Dorian entered her mind. She didn’t have to sleep, but her desires were overwhelming. Ariya climbed into the bed and watched as Cullen took off his boots and shirt and slipped under the blanket beside her. He was lying so modestly away from her, looking up at the ceiling avoiding her gaze. He was nervous as she was, but Ariya didn’t want him to be away from her, she wanted him to touch her. She took a breath and slid herself against his warm body. Cullen hesitated a little and looked at her curiously. 

 

“Cullen it’s okay. You can touch me; I’m not going to burst into to flames.”

 

Cullen smiled and finally wrapped his arm around her body and pulled her against him.

 

“I just want you to be comfortable.”

 

Ariya placed her hand atop his chest and began to draw circles along his skin. Cullen started to relax and ran his hand along the small of her back. She looked up at him and could see his beautiful eyes gleaming against the moonlight. She watched as his eyes trailed down to her lips. Ariya knew he wanted her, the way he was looking her and the way he kissed her and touched her earlier. Maybe it was okay, what Dorian had said entered her mind.

 

“Ariya it’s all okay. No one says you have to do anything you don’t want to. Cullen would never hurt you like those men did; I know you’re afraid of that.”

 

There was nothing but love in Cullen’s eyes not lust like those monsters. The way he kissed her made her heart swell with happiness. His touches were gentle and Ariya wanted all of it and more from him. She smiled at Cullen and lifted her head and gave him a kiss. Cullen sighed against her lips and brought his hand to cradle her head. With each kiss Ariya started to get comfortable with him and her desires got stronger. She wanted him in more ways than just this. She wanted to feel his body against hers. She wanted to feel him inside of her, to feel full and warm from his love for her. She needed him. Ariya broke their kiss and crawled on top of Cullen’s body. His eyes widen as Ariya kissed him once again. 

 

“Ariya we don’t have to do anything.”

 

She shook her head and smiled at him.

 

“No Cullen, I want to.”

 

Cullen blinked and opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He started to feel flustered and tripped over his words. 

 

“Oh! Well… I… I… uh Ari-“

 

She cut him off with another kiss and pushed her tongue into the warmth of his mouth. Ariya began to giggle against him.

 

“I love you Cullen Rutherford.”

 

Cullen smiled and brought his hand to cup her cheek. 

 

“I love you Ariya Trevelyan. Are you sure you want to do this?”

 

Ariya nodded her head and sat up. She took hold of the ties on her robe and pulled the apart slowly. Cullen watched her attentively as the knot came undone. Ariya opened her robe and threw it onto the floor exposing her naked body to him. She bit her lip nervously and felt the blush fall upon her body. Cullen placed his hands on her waist and began to rub into her skin gently. Ariya could feel his arousal in his pants pushing through against her aching heat. 

 

“Ariya… you are so beautiful.” 

 

She smiled shyly at him. Ariya brought her hand against his stubble cheek and bent back down to meet her lips against hers. Something fell against Cullen’s chest. As he broke it he looked down at her chest to see the necklace he gave her around her neck. Cullen reached out and took the small horse in his hand.

 

“You’re still wearing this?”

 

“I never took it off.”

 

He smiled and pulled her in for a searing kiss. Cullen moaned against her and rolled his hips along hers. Ariya bit his lower lip and rested her head against his. 

 

“Cullen, make love to me.” She whispered.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Please Cullen.”

 

Cullen gave her another deep kiss and looked into her green eyes.

 

“As my Lady commands.”

 

Ariya gave a small giggle and Cullen took hold of her body and rolled her over onto her back. His kisses were warm and sweet, Ariya loved the way he tasted, peppermint tea. Cullen ran his hand along her curves and stopped under her breast.

 

“May I?”

 

Ariya gave a nod and Cullen gently placed his hand over her breast. She arched her back and pushed herself against his hand. Cullen gave small gentle squeeze as he ran his thumb along her already harden nipple. He buried his face against her neck and gave her quick kisses along her sensitive skin. Ariya moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck. She could feel her core started to build higher and higher. 

 

“Cullen, touch me more please.”

 

He lifted his head from her neck and smiled at her. Cullen slid his hand down her body until he reached the peak of her sex. Ariya flinched and looked down at herself. Cullen looked back for reassurance and once Ariya gave it, he began to rub against her pearl in small circles. Ariya threw her head back and moaned louder the more he touched her. Cullen took a nipple into his hot mouth and flicked his warm tongue along her peak. He drew larger circles between her legs and Ariya took hold of the bedsheets beneath her hand. 

 

“Cullen please!”

 

Ariya started to beg for him and she really didn’t know what for but she did. She needed to feel his body against hers she couldn’t take it anymore. The fire that kindled was burning too hot now. Cullen slipped a finger into her and Ariya cried out. He stilled his hand in fear of hurting her.

 

“Don’t stop please.”

 

Cullen nodded and pushed his fingers deeper into her wet heat. Ariya arched herself against the bed and started to call to the Maker. She had never felt like this before, he was so gentle yet firm with her. He knew exactly how to pleasure her and Ariya loved every second of it. She opened her eyes and looked at her lover. He had been watching her the entire time his eyes were hazed over in a daze of desire for her. Ariya reached out towards the ties against his pants and began to pull on them.

 

“Cullen, make love to me please. I want you.”

 

He gave her a sly grin and a small nod. Cullen quickly slid out of his pants and his small clothes. Ariya watched as his already hard cock sprung free from his clothing. She bit her lip as she drank in the sight of his naked body. Cullen climbed on top of her body then paused to look at her.

 

“What?” Ariya tiled her head.

 

“I just… you’re my heart Ariya. I love you so much.”

 

Ariya smiled and pulled him into for an embrace. His body felt so warm against hers. Cullen lifted his head and gave her a searing kiss. He settled himself between her legs and Ariya felt his cock push against her sex. Her heart skipped a beat. This was it, she had wanted this for a long time and she wasn’t scared at all. She felt nothing but love from him. Cullen brushed her stray hairs from her face and smiled.

 

“Are you ready?”

 

Ariya gave a nod and Cullen lifted himself up. He spread her legs apart and took hold of himself in his hand. He rubbed the head of his cock against her wet slit and Ariya twitched under his touch. Cullen pressed against her opening and looked back at Ariya. She smiled at him and he finally pushed himself in. Ariya’s breath hitched as he slowly entered her. A moan escaped from her lips. Cullen stilled himself and looked at Ariya with concern.

 

“Am I hurting you?”

 

“Maker no!” 

 

Cullen let out a small laugh and took hold of her hips. He pushed into her more until his hips met hers. He stilled himself again and waited for Ariya to adjust to him. She felt full, so incredibly full. She opened her eyes and looked at her hips then back at Cullen’s eyes. He started to rock back and forth against her. Ariya let another moan out and pulled him into a kiss. Their tongues danced around together as Ariya wrapped her legs around Cullen’s waist. He growled against her and started to pick up his speed. Ariya lifted herself off the bed and pressed into his body. She rolled her hips against Cullen’s cock and a moan escaped his lips. He devoured her neck and gave a small bite against her skin. Cullen’s thrusts began to feel fast and erratic. Ariya was losing her mind under the pleasure. Her core started to feel warm as Cullen started to slam into her roughly. She wanted more from him, she need more from him. 

 

“Cullen!”

 

The sound of their cries and their hips filled the room. Ariya dug her nails into his back and held onto to him tightly. She could feel herself started to unwind as her walls gripped his cock. Cullen lifted himself up and looked down at her. He slammed into her harder than before and she cried out.

 

“Ah!” Ariya bit her lip to hold back what she was going to saying.

 

“Ariya say it.”

 

She opened her eyes and looked at her lion. A million things were running through her mind. She wanted to say so many things but she could only manage to say one thing.

 

“Cullen fuck me please!” Cullen gave a grin and took hold of her hips.

 

“Are you going to come for me Ariya?”

 

The fire was building higher and higher, Ariya knew she couldn’t hold out any longer. She took hold of his arm and held onto him tightly. With a few more thrusts Ariya was gone. She arched herself against the mattress and called out Cullen’s name. She was a trembling mess and Cullen rode her orgasm. He buried his head against her neck and drove into her hips once more. He cried out for her as he spilled his seed.

 

They lay still trying to catch their breath. Cullen mumbled against her skin but she could not make out what he was saying. As Cullen pulled himself out of her Ariya whimpered at the empty feeling it left behind. He lifted his head and looked at her.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

Ariya smiled and cupped his cheek.

 

“I’m better than alright.” He gave her a kiss.

 

“Ariya… I… I’ve never felt anything like this before. I love you.” 

 

Her heart was overjoyed. She had never felt anything like this before either. To be in love with such a caring, loving and strong man was something Ariya never expect to find here of all places. A man who would love her despite her flaws and her past, someone who would protect her and see into her soul. Cullen Rutherford was the best thing that had happened to her.

 

“I love you too Cullen, with all my heart.”

 

They slipped under the blankets and cuddled up against each other and let sleep take them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH Cullen is like omg XD <3 he's the sweetest thing ever. Also being am ex-Templar I'd like to imagine this helps him in the bedroom to like last longer. XD Hope everyone is enjoying so far <3 Look forward to more sexy times with these two ^^


	31. On Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after, Ariya feels different about herself. She finally understands how much pain Cullen is going through.

Ariya rolled onto her stomach but her arm had hit something. When she opened her eyes she saw Cullen laying beside her, sleeping soundly. She smiled to herself as she watched her lover sleep. It felt so different having waking up to him in the morning, but she loved it. She sat up and stretched her body about. Ariya felt good, she felt happy. She hadn’t felt like this for a long time and it was all thanks to Cullen. Ariya looked towards her balcony to see the sun had already passed the mountains, she was late. Ariya quickly got out of bed and ran to her wardrobe. She threw on a blue shirt and black leggings. She tied her hair up and grabbed a few reports from her desk. She skimmed through it to review for the meeting Leliana had set up between her and herself. 

 

“No…”

 

Ariya shot her eyes up and looked towards her bed. Cullen was twitching and moving about. Was he talking in sleep? Ariya placed the papers back on her desk and walked over to the bed.

 

“Please… don’t!”

 

She sat on the bed and looked at him with concern. His brow was covered in sweat and his face looked like he was in pain. Ariya moved closer to him and placed her hand against his cheek.

 

“Cullen?” His body jerked up and his arms started to shake.

 

“Leave me!” Ariya started to shake him to try and wake him up, but he didn’t. Cullen started to toss and turn.

 

“Cullen, it’s me Ariya.”

 

“NO DON’T TOUCH ME!”

 

Cullen shot his eyes open and took hold of Ariya’s wrists. He lounged forward and flipped her onto her back. Ariya was stunned she couldn’t move at all, he had her pinned against the bed. His eyes were filled with furry yet he was looking at her in fear. His chest was heaving as if he was gasping for air. Cullen blinked a few times until he came to. He looked down at Ariya wide eyed. He quickly released her wrists and crawled away from her.

 

“Ariya…. Maker’s breath… I-I’m so s-sorry….”

 

Cullen brought his hands to his face and sighed sullenly. Ariya pushed herself off the bed and looked at her wrists. His rough hands had left red marks along them. She looked at Cullen with concern. This was the first time she had ever seen Cullen like this. Is this why he wanted to leave last night? She crawled over to his side and placed her hand on his shoulder.

 

“Cullen it’s alright. I kno-“

 

“No! It’s not alright! I could have…. hurt you…”

 

Ariya felt sad, she hated seeing him like this. Is this what he goes through every night? Cullen sat there silently looking down at her hands. Ariya came to his side and pulled him in for an embrace.

 

“Cullen… does this happen often?”

 

“These nightmares never leave me and they’re worse without the lyrium… All those memories… Ariya… I didn’t mean to grab you like that… please forgive me.”

 

He rested his head against her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her body. Ariya gave a small kiss against his brow and pressed her head against his.

 

“There’s nothing to forgive. I had no idea you were suffering like this…”

 

He lifted his head and looked up at her. His expression quickly changed with concern. He cupped her cheek and pressed his lips against her. 

 

“I didn’t mean to worry you.” Ariya reached up and placed her hand over his as she nestled into it.

 

“You can let me worry a little. I told you I wanted to help. I’ll always be here for you, even through all of the nightmares.”

 

Cullen smiled and pulled her in for an embrace. Ariya sighed happily and held onto him tightly. His skin felt warm and soft, she ran her fingers along his chest. Cullen shivered against her touch. 

 

“I love you Ariya.”

 

“And I you Cullen.”

 

In one quick motion Cullen brought her down onto the bed. Ariya let out a small squeak as she hit the mattress. Cullen laughed as he crawled on top of her. Ariya pulled him into a kiss and their lips danced around each other. As he rested his bare body between her legs, she could feel his erection pressing against her. Ariya hummed in delight and ran her fingers through his blonde curls. Cullen lifted himself and began unbutton her shirt eagerly.

 

“Commander Cullen we must attend to our duties. I am already late for my meeting with our Spymaster.”

 

As all the buttons came undone, Cullen pushed her shirt apart exposing her bare skin to him. He bent down and gave small quick kisses leading towards her neck. He gave a small lick against her and sucked on the skin beneath his lips. Ariya let a moan escape her lips.

 

“My Lady Inquisitor you have other duties you must attend to first.” He whispered against her neck. 

 

“And what exactly are those duties Commander?”

 

“Me.”

 

Ariya shivered against him. She could feel the ache between her legs build with her desires for Cullen. She was already late, what’s another 15 minutes? She gave a small bite against his shoulder and he moaned in approval. He sat up and quickly pulled her leggings off her legs. Ariya threw her shirt off her body and unhooked her breast band. Cullen slid off her small clothes and licked his lips as he looked at her naked body. Ariya watched him lay between her legs and gave a kiss against her sex. Her body flinched in excitement as Cullen drove his tongue between her lips. He threw her legs over his shoulders and let his tongue explore between her legs. Ariya could feel her body start to unwind and the tension building in her nerves started to go over. She moaned his name and took a handful of sheets beneath her palm. Cullen drove his tongue into her and Ariya arched her back, she wasn’t going to last any longer.

 

“Cullen!”

 

He lifted his head from her legs and smiled at her. Ariya opened her eyes and watched as Cullen wiped his mouth. He crawled over her and crashed his lips against hers. Ariya could taste her arousal on him as she hummed against him. Cullen found her neck and planted small kisses along her skin until he reached her ear.

 

“Do you want to try something?” He lifted his head and looked at her attentively. 

 

“What do you have in mind?”

 

“Get on all fours.” He whispered. 

 

Ariya smiled, she loved how confident he was acting, but most of all, she loved that he asked. He cares so much; it made Ariya’s heart sing with happiness. As he crawled off of her Ariya quickly flipped onto her stomach and got on her hands and knees. The excitement and thrill he was giving her was electrifying, she loved it. She felt his rough hands gently take hold of her hips. As she turned to look up at him, she watched as her lion’s naked form line himself against her buttocks. The sunlight that shown through the window hit his gorgeous body in all the right places. Ariya smiled at him and watched as he took hold of his hard cock.

 

“Are you ready my love?”

 

Ariya gave a nod and as he entered her wet heat with ease, a moan escaped her lips. Cullen began to thrust into her with more force until he was fully seated within her. Ariya turned back and took hold of the headboard for support. Cullen drove himself into her as fast as he could. Ariya was losing herself from the pleasure she felt. Cullen smooths his hand along the curve of her back and bent over her body. He brushed her curly hair to one side and gently nipped her ear. 

 

“Do you like how my cock feels inside of you Ariya?”

 

His words sent chills down her spine. She did, she loved the feeling of being full from his hard cock. Cullen continued to drive himself into her and whisper in her ear. Ariya couldn’t hold on much longer. She dug her nails into the headboard and felt her body warming up quickly. With another thrust, Ariya’s body began to shake until her orgasm washed over her flushed body. She threw her head back and cried out for Cullen. Soon after she felt his climax reach, he cried out for her and the warm spurt of his hot seed spilled within her. As they stilled themselves to try to collect themselves, Cullen quickly pushed himself off of her.

 

“Maker’s breath! Ariya the bed!”

 

Ariya shot her eyes open to see the beautiful dark wood of her head board was on fire. Cullen quickly scrambled out of the bed and ran for the bath to grab some water. Ariya collected herself and casted winter’s grasp against the flames. As he returned with a small bucket of water, Ariya looked at him wide eyed. They both looked at the head board then back at each other until they finally broke out into a laughing fit. Cullen placed the bucket onto the floor and sat himself beside her. He placed her hand against her flushed cheek and rested his head against hers.

 

“I take it you enjoyed yourself.” Ariya gave another giggle and tapped him lightly on his chest.

 

“Enough that I actually lit our bed on fire.”

 

“We should be more careful next time then.”

 

Cullen gave a wink and Ariya smiled. They gave each other a kiss and got dressed together. As Ariya walked back to her desk to collect her reports a loud sound came from the bed. Both of them turned to see the ice had melted into a slush mess on the bedsheets. When their eyes met they broke out into another laughing fit until there were tears in their eyes. They both headed off to the door and as Cullen opened it, he held his hand out towards it.

 

“After you, Inquisitor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aside from the smuttiness, I feel so bad for Cullen, he suffers so much throughout the 3 games ): I just want to hug him. <3


	32. Red Lyrium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisition receives reports about Samson and the Red Templars. These clue lead them to something unexpected about Samson.

It had been a long day. The Inquisition had been getting reports left and right from Leliana’s scouts. More clues as to what Corypheus was doing and after what happened at the Adamant, Ariya couldn’t shake off the terrible feeling she had got. They were fortunate to have found the famous Grey Warden, Alistair, who had help stopped the fifth blight, and Lyanna Hawke from Varric, yet when they were trapped in the fade, Hawke volunteered to stay behind. No matter how hard Ariya tried to plead with her, she wouldn’t leave. The memories still haunted her.

 

“Go! Corypheus is mine!”

 

Ariya walked down the stairs from her bed chambers and headed to the great hall. She greeted every noble one her way but froze in place once she saw Varric sitting at his table writing his letters. It had been nearly a week since Hawke disappeared into the fade, and Varric had been avoiding everyone. This was the first time she had seen since that day. Ariya slowly approached Varric and stood by his table until his looked up from his paper. His face was still filled with sorrow but there was no anger in his eyes anymore. He got up from his chair and walked over to the fireplace. Ariya felt her stomach drop, she never wanted to hurt her friend, but it was out of her control.

 

“Did I ever tell you the time Hawke was on the merchant guild hit list?”

 

Her friend went on about Hawke’s great adventure and how she ended up in this mishap. He turned to look at her and Ariya could see his eyes were glazed over. Ariya quickly ran up to him and gave him a hug. She could feel Varric slowly sink into her embrace and let out a small sad sigh. As they broke their embrace Varric continued his story of Lyanna. Although Ariya had only known her for a few months, Lyanna Hawke was truly an inspiring woman. She was kind, funny, and strong. Despite what happened between her and her lover, Anders, she seemed so wise to Ariya. As Varric finished his story they stood there in silence. The sadness washed over the both of them once again.

 

“I guess I’ve got some letters to write. I should be the one to tell Carver. Excuse me.”

 

Ariya nodded and Varric sat back down at his table. He picked up a fresh piece of paper and began to write. Ariya took a breath and walked through Solas’ room. They had a small chat then Ariya headed straight for Cullen’s tower. A scout had left a note with her reports stating he wanted to see her after her morning meetings. Cullen had always gotten up hours before she did so most of the time she missed him in the mornings. Ariya gave a small knock against his door and heard him call her in.

 

“You wanted to see me?” 

 

Cullen’s back was facing towards her. Ariya could feel the tension was thick in the air. Something was wrong. When he turned around his face was hard. Cullen was holding his clipboard and slowly approached Ariya. 

 

“Ariya…”

 

He was starting to scare her, what happened? Ariya could feel her heart start to race in her chest. Cullen face finally softens and he placed his hand under her chin. As he lifted her head he planted a kiss against her.

 

“Cullen, what’s going on? You’re starting to worry me.”

 

“I’m sorry, it’s just… I don’t-“ Ariya took hold of his gloved hand and gave it a tight squeeze.

 

“Cullen you need to tell me, especially if it’s Inquisition business.”

 

Cullen gave a nod and lifted his clipboard. He flipped a few pages over and showed her the report. Ariya took the board from him and read the report. Her eyes quickly skimmed through it, until the words “Red Templar” came into view. Her heart skipped a beat. She looked up at Cullen who had a worried look on his face.

 

“When did this report come in?”

 

“This morning. Leliana wanted to discuss it during our meeting, but I wanted to discuss this with you privately first. Are you… alright?”

 

Ariya didn’t know how to feel. The pain of those days she was held captive still looms in the back of her mind, but she wasn’t so far into the darkness like she was months ago.

 

“I am. We need to stop them Cullen. I promised you we would and I still wanted to keep that promise. Have Leliana’s men found anything else?”

 

“She… They think that have located where Samson is, or at least where his first man is located. According to Dagna, the armor Samson has created for himself in entirely made out of red lyrium.”

 

Red lyrium armor? How is that even possible? The Red Templars who held her had only the traditional Templar armor and weapons. How is Samson even able to create such things? Cullen turned the page and pointed to a paragraph near the bottom. It was a report from Danga. Ariya skimmed through it and it was exactly what she was thinking, a mage was involved.

 

“If he is using red lyrium on his armor, how has it not killed him already?”

 

“That’s what we are going to find out. The scouts have located where Samson’s friend is hiding. They had intercepted messages between them; the mage named Maddox is hiding out in the north. If we leave now we can stop him before he meets with Samson again.”

 

Ariya felt uneasy. If they leave now it meant she would potentially be facing the men who attacked her. Her stomach started to turn at the thought of seeing them again. Cullen placed his hands along her shoulders and snapped Ariya out of her dark thoughts. She looked up at him; his eyes were filled with concern.

 

“I’m coming with you. What happened before will not happen again, you have my word.”

 

Ariya could feel her anxiety start to slip away. She threw her arms around Cullen’s neck and nestled her head against the soft fur of his armor. Cullen stroked her hair and held onto her tightly. Knowing that he would be there gave her a little more confidence. There was no time to be afraid. She promised him that she would stop them and not only for Cullen, but the countless mages who were captured and killed.

 

\--

 

It had been a few hours since they had left Skyhold. According to scout Harding the mage Maddox was held up in an old Chantry. Ariya pat her charger on the head, it felt like they were riding for days but she didn’t want to stop for fear of lost time. When Cullen told her to find members of the Inquisition to join, The Iron Bull volunteered. He had told her that if she recognized any of the Red Templars he would crush them. Cassandra and Cole also came along as well. Ariya looked over at Cullen who was riding alongside her. His face was still but his eyes were filled with rage. Not only was he upset over the fact his fellow Templars had gone rouge, some of those men may have hurt her and that’s what sent him over.

 

“Is that it?” Cassandra called from the back.

 

Ariya looked forward to see the Chantry on fire while half of the courtyard was in ruins. What happened here? Statutes were knocked over, lyrium shards were growing from the ground, and a few dead men lay before them. They dismounted their chargers and Cullen went ahead with Bull and Cole. Ariya and Cassandra cleared the outer perimeter. 

 

“Do you see anyone?” 

 

“No. Something is not right. If Leliana’s scouts said Maddox was held up here wouldn’t there be some sort of guards posted? It is unlikely he would just be here by himself, especially if he is so important to Samson.”

 

Cassandra was right. Something wasn’t right. Ariya felt her stomach twist and turn, what if this was some sort of trap? They both quickly ran back into the courtyard to meet back with the others.

 

“Did you find anything?”

 

“We saw a few men inside the Chantry, but there is something large blocking most of the view. We’re not exactly sure how many are in there.”

 

“We need to attack them while they still don’t know that we are here.”

 

Cullen gave Ariya and nod. He and Cassandra unsheathe their swords while Cole disappeared. They all headed for the front door. With a signal from Cassandra, Bull charged through the door, breaking it off its hinges. The men that were sitting were taken off guard. They scrambled around trying to find their weapons but were taken down in one huge swipe from Bull’s axe. With the loud commotion, the other red Templars came running down the stairs. Ariya called for lighting and struck the men in a daze giving a chance for Cullen and Cassandra to strike. Cole appeared before them and danced with his blades hitting every Templar in his sight.

 

“Forward!” Cullen shouted. They all headed into the next room and Ariya froze in her tracks.

 

“What the fuck is that?!” 

 

“Rage. Fire building. It’s eating me alive, it’s taking over. It’s… It’s…. gone.”

 

Ariya gripped her staff in both hands. The monster before them turned around and shouted a terrible shout at them. It was a man, at least it use to be but most of his body was covered in red lyrium. Large shards grew out of it. The infected Templar was pulsing red. The monster charged forward screaming and knocking everything out of its way. Cullen raised his shield while Bull let out a roar.

 

“Don’t let them touch you!”

 

Cullen, Cassandra and Bull charged forward and fought as hard as they could and Ariya casted her magic around her friends to protect them. A few archers were stationed on the floor above them began to shoot arrows directly at her. Ariya ducked and ran behind a pillar in the middle of the room. As she took a peak to see where the archers were, she saw Cole appear before them and he took them out as fast as he could. The infected Templar was still a problem; he couldn’t be brought down so easily. Ariya needed to do something to help her friends. She quickly ran across the hall until she reached the top of the staircase. She needed a clear angle to send her attacks effectively. 

 

As she turned back to look towards her friends a red Templar ran towards her. He tackled her until they went rolling down the stone staircase. Ariya screamed until she hit the floor. She felt the air leave her lungs as her back hit the ground. She couldn’t see straight, she patted the ground to find her staff but it was long gone. Ariya grasped for air and when her vision returned her saw the red Templar crawl on top of her. She tried to move away but the weight of his body was pinning her to the ground. Ariya watched has he pulled a knife from his sleeve and lifted it above his head. She began to panic, she couldn’t escape and her friends were trapped between the infected Templar. Ariya couldn’t think straight to even cast any spells. The Templar gave a laugh and drove the blade towards her chest. Ariya screamed as loud as she could until the crushing weight that was on her was gone. As she opened her eyes and saw Bull swinging his axe about and hacking at the man. 

 

“Ariya!”

 

Her chest was heaving for air and there were tears in her eyes. She was shaking and she was afraid. Ariya tried to move but she couldn’t. Cullen ran to her side and scooped her up in his arms.

 

“Ariya it’s alright I’m right here.”

 

Ariya brought her hands to her face and sobbed into them. She almost died and for what? Because she couldn’t defend herself let alone think straight to fight against the attacker. How in Thedas would she be able to fight the countless other red Templars if in the end she couldn’t fight back? She felt ashamed.

 

“Quickly, let’s get what we need and get out of here. Now.” Cullen ordered.

 

Bull and Cassandra ran into the other room while Cole appeared in front of them. He placed his hands against Ariya’s hand and patted against her red hair as she continued to sob in Cullen’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those giant infected Templars scare me. Also I don't see why Maddox pretty much sacrificed himself for Samson. 
> 
> Also yes I let Hawke stay behind in the fade, as much as I love her Alistair is my video game husband ): UGH!
> 
> Hope everyone is enjoying the story! ^^


	33. Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariya has another nightmare. She begins to doubt her abilities to fight against her enemies.

Ariya slowly opened her eyes and blinked as she looked around her. It was too bright to see anything; it was as if someone was shining a light directly in her face. She lifted her hands to shield her eyes and as she did she felt the floor crumble beneath her feet and she fell. Ariya scream as she was being swallowed into the dark abyss. When she hit the ground all she could see was the darkness. She held out her hands in front of her and waved them about trying to find her way out but she was walking endlessly. 

 

“Do you think you can escape me mage?”

 

The booming voice echoed around her until something came running towards her at full speed. Before Ariya could find time to react she felt something sharp hit her in her abdomen. When she looked down at herself there was a blade lodge in her body. Ariya coughed and blood came spilling from her mouth. She dropped to her knees and screamed when the pain shot through her. Ariya’s body started to shake and her vision grew blurry. The last thing she heard was the taunting voice laughing at her as she laid there dying.

 

Ariya opened her eyes and sat up in her bed, her heart was beating loudly in her heaving chest. She looked down at herself and patted against her night gown. She was still alive, she wasn’t hurt. She looked over to see Cullen still fast asleep. His breathing was slow and face was calm. At he wasn’t having any nightmares. Ariya slipped out of the bed as quietly as she could and walked over to the balcony doors. The sun was barely passed the horizon, it was still so early, but Ariya couldn’t shake off her nightmare. She lifted her marked hand and watched as her hand glowed in the darkness. How was she supposed to fight off all their foes if she could barely handle one man? How can she face those men who attacked her? She crumbled under the thought of them. Ariya closed her eyes and brought her hands to her face. She sobbed quietly for fearing waking up her lover. She didn’t want him to worry more than he already did. 

 

Ariya recalled the moment she discovered she was mage when she was a young girl. Her parents were confused as to why she was gifted with it; they didn’t know anyone in their family who was a mage. At first her father refused her to leave for The Circle, telling her maybe it would go away. Most nights she couldn’t sleep because of the dreams she would have. Spirits and demons would come to her asking her things, things she did not understand. She had never been so afraid in her life and worst of all, she was alone because no one could help her. The only thing that would calm her was singing a song her father use to sing to her when she was a child. 

 

She pulled her hands from her face and looked out at the mountains and began to hum the sweet song from her childhood. Ariya wiped the tears from her eyes and continued to hum the song. Her anxiety started to leave and she started to feel a little better. 

 

“That’s beautiful Ariya.”

 

She turned around to see Cullen getting out of their bed. He walked over to her all groggy and his hair a mess. He wrapped his arms around her curvy frame and held onto her close. Ariya flushed her back against his bare chest and continued to hum her song. Cullen kissed the top of her head and rested his chin against her. He listened to her attentively as they both watched the sun rise above the mountain peaks. When she finished Ariya place her hands onto his and closed her eyes.

 

“Are you alright?” 

 

“Better now.” 

 

Ariya looked over up at him and he gave her a kiss. As they broke their kiss Cullen’s eye became sad.

 

“Did you have another nightmare?”

 

Ariya didn’t want to answer and she didn’t need to, he already knew. She turned back and looked out the windows. They stood there in silence for a few more moments until Cullen unhooked his arms and walked away from her. Ariya looked behind her to see him heading towards their wardrobe and getting dressed.

 

“Get dressed Ariya and meet me in the courtyard.”

 

She threw up her eyebrow as she watched Cullen grab for his armor. It wasn’t even time for anyone to attend for their duties except the guards posted. Even this was earlier than when Cullen starts to work every morning.

 

“But-“ Cullen quickly placed his lips on hers.

 

“No buts. Just get dressed and meet me there okay?”

 

He was gone in a flash. Ariya was standing there confused, but trusted her Commander and did as he asked. She walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out green tunic shirt with black leggings. She stood in front of the mirror and threw her hair up together. Her eyes fell onto her necklace. She picked it up and traced over the horse with her fingers. 

 

“Cullen what are you up to?” She whispered to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter! I promise the next one will be a long one! :)


	34. Defend Yourself

Ariya walked the great hall. The sound of her footsteps echoed the grand room. No one was awake except for the occasional guard on duty walking thought the various rooms. As she stood atop the grand staircase, she looked around the courtyard for Cullen but she couldn’t see him. She quickly headed back down the stairs and called his name. He did say meet him here, but why? 

 

“Over here Ariya!”

 

She turned to see Cullen exiting the armory with two practice swords in his hands. He threw one towards her, Ariya missed and watched as it fell onto the grass. She looked at him embarrassed and Cullen gave a smile. He picked it and handed it to her.

 

“Next time you’ll catch it.”

 

Ariya gave a nod and followed him to the middle of the courtyard. She looked at the practice sword with curiosity. Ariya has never really picked up any other weapon other than her staff. Being a mage she really didn’t see the need to take up arms in battle. The dull blade was small but had some weight to it. Cullen tapped the sword against the ground then held it up towards her chin.

 

“Pay attention darling, I’m going to teach you how to defend yourself.”

 

She swatted the sword away from her face and raised her brow at him. 

 

“Defend myself? Cullen I am capable of doing so.”

 

“I know Ariya. You are a talented mage, but what I mean is in close quarter combat. I know I won’t always be around to protect you, as much as I want to. I know you can handle yourself it’s just… it wouldn’t hurt to learn how to take out someone when you are on your last resort.”

 

He was right. Cullen wouldn’t be around on field with her all the time and she got lucky last time. She thought about the mountains again. Those men who took her and Dorian, if she knew how to defend herself, could that have saved her? Ariya looked down at the practice sword in her hand then back at Cullen.

 

“Shall we begin Commander?”

 

Cullen gave a sly smirk and brought his sword up. Ariya did the same, mimicking Cullen’s stance. He taught her the basics. How to stand, how to hold the sword properly, and where to step. Ariya paid close attention to him, all of this was new to her and she was fighting hard to keep up with him. She now understood why Cullen’s men would look defeated after a training session with him.

 

\--

 

They had only been at it for nearly half an hour and Ariya could feel every muscle in her body aching. Ariya placed her hands on her knees and tried to catch her breath. 

 

“Are you alright?” Ariya threw her hand up and waved at him.

 

“I… I’m fine. Do you… do you think we could take a break?”

 

Cullen gave a chuckle and stuck his sword into the ground. He walked to the water well and pulled up the bucket up. Ariya followed over to him and took a drink of the cold water. It felt like heaven in her mouth. Cullen brought a wash cloth from his pocket to her brow and wiped the sweat that dripped down her damp skin.

 

“You’re doing well Ariya.”

 

“Am I? I feel like I’m a terrible student.” Cullen placed his hands against her cheeks and planted a kiss on her nose.

 

“You’re not. For someone who has no previous combat training, you catch on quick. Ready for round two?”

 

Ariya groaned and hung her head. Cullen laughed and began to unhook his armor apart. Ariya looked at him curiously. She eyed him eagerly and drank in the sight of her lover slowly removing his tunic shirt over his head. Ariya licked her lips as she trailed her eyes over bare chest. The way the sun hit his gorgeous body made her feel warm and shocked her through her core. She watched him turn and walk over to the armory rack and bit her lip as he bent over to pick up a couple of daggers. 

 

“Maker’s mercy…” 

 

She shook her head and tried to focus, she needed to concentrate, she needed to learn not drool over Cullen’s body. When Cullen came back to her he placed his hand under her chin and lifted her face to meet his. Cullen smiled at her and ran his thumb across her lips.

 

“Don’t get distracted now. I have another lesson for you.”

 

Ariya smiled at him sweetly and followed him back to the middle of the courtyard.

 

“I’m going to show close quarter combat. Ariya I’m going to teach you how to get out of a hold and where to strike.”

 

Cullen took his stance and held an intense glare towards her. Ariya’s body began to tense up, she wasn’t sure what to expect. It must have shown on her face because Cullen’s expression quickly changed. 

 

“I… Don’t be alarmed, I’m going to come at you, okay? I won’t hurt you, I promise. Just show me what you would do.”

 

She gave a nod and paid close attention to him. Ariya couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous. She knew Cullen would never hurt her but the memories of that Templar came into him. Ariya took a deep breath and cleared her mind. She needed to do this, for her own sake. They circled around each other for a few moments until Cullen lounged forward towards her. Ariya panicked, her first instinct was to throw a punch towards his face. Cullen quickly grabbed hold of her wrist and brought her down on the ground. Ariya squirmed under him and tried to move her legs abound but Cullen quickly sat himself on her. She tried to raise her other hand but he caught it as well. He brought both of her wrists above her head and pinned her down. Ariya’s chest was heaving trying to catch her breath, everything happened so fast. Then the memories flooded her mind. The pale man. The way he took her down onto the table and the way the other men pinned her to the floor. Ariya quickly shut her eyes to try and calm herself down. Her breathing quickened and the noise around her drowned out. 

 

“I’m okay.” Ariya repeated to herself. “I’m okay, I’m okay.”

 

“Ariya? Ariya did I hurt you?”

 

Cullen slowly released his grip on her. Ariya slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him. His face was full of concern. She took a breath and repeated her phrase in her mind once more.

 

“No, I’m okay.” Cullen quickly got up and pulled Ariya to her feet. 

 

“Are you sure? We can stop if you want to.”

 

“No Cullen, please. I need to do this.” Cullen hesitated for a moment then gave a small nod.

 

“You’re most vulnerable spots would be your hands. Our first instinct would be to bring our hands forwards to protect ourselves, which isn’t wrong but it’s where you strike is how you can make it count.”

 

Cullen stepped forwards and took hold of Ariya’s hands. He lifted her right hand and closed it into a fist. He held it in front of his face and Ariya looked at him in confusion.

 

“You were going to strike me here right? The face is the easiest and most predicable place to strike, most expect it.” He brought her fist down and held it to the edge of his rib cage. “Next time strike here, you’ll catch them off guard. Most armor chest plates are crafted to end just above here. Or.” He moved her hand towards the middle of his chest. “Here, if they have no armor at all. Now let’s try this again. I’m going to come at you, just do exactly as I taught you.”

 

“Cullen I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

“You won’t.”

 

Cullen walked across the courtyard and Ariya prepared herself. “Not the face.” She repeated to herself over and over again. They circled each other again. Cullen quickly moved towards her and Ariya brought her first to the middle of his chest. She heard him let out a small gasp as she made contact but he quickly recovered and brought her down. He took both her wrists and held her against the ground. Cullen rested his leg between her thighs as Ariya eyed him. With all her adrenaline, Ariya couldn’t help but lose her focus again. He just had to be shirtless.

 

“You’re a quick learner.” He breath.

 

“You’re a good teacher, Commander.”

 

Cullen smiled at her and let go of her hands. 

 

“You can use your free leg in this situation. Just quickly lift your leg and ram your knee towards the tailbone as hard as you can.” 

 

Cullen quickly got on his feet and pulled Ariya up once again. He walked over to the daggers and bent over to pick them up. Ariya’s eyes wander down to the curve of his buttocks. She bit her lip trying to focus her attention anywhere but her throbbing heat. This was neither the time nor place to desire him. They came out here to train not to fool around with each other.

 

“Here.” 

 

Ariya took the dagger in her hand and inspected it. She has never really held a blade like this other than a knife for eating or making potions. The dagger was long and jagged along the blade side. The hilt was made of iron wrapped in brown leather with a small loop at the end. 

 

“Daggers or knives are very good to use in close combat. I’m going to show you where and how to use the blade. There are a few places you can hit. Some may not kill them but it will bleed them out, badly.” Cullen pointed under his breast bone. “The obvious you can try for is the heart.” He moved his finger down below his rib cage. “Or just below here.” Cullen turned himself around and placed his hand on his back.   
“The kidneys will bleed them out.” 

 

Ariya gave a nod and watched him as he circled around her. As Cullen stood behind her and took hold of her hand. She gripped her fingers around the handle harder as Cullen tightened his grip on her. He pulled her against him and nuzzled against her ear. “Now turn your hand like this and jab your hand back and forth quickly, this was you can inflict more damage.” Ariya did as she was told and moved her arm about. She felt Cullen slide his free hand along her hip and steadied her position as he leaned in closer to her. “You’re doing well Ariya now try it like this.” 

 

He guided her hand through another motioned attack but Ariya soon found herself distracted again. She shivered against his breath and felt the heat radiate from his body. The way his rough hands felt against her was starting to drive her mad. Ariya turned and looked up at her lover. His amber eyes were fixed on her. She knew he could feel the tension between them. He dropped his eyes to her lips and Ariya watched as his gaze turned into lust. 

 

“I… I think we’re done for today. You did well.” 

 

“Yeah…”

 

They stood there for what seemed like an eternity. Ariya could feel her heart racing in her chest. Even now Cullen could still make her feel like she did when they first kissed each other. Cullen quickly retracted himself from her and took the dagger. He ran his hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck.

 

“We should probably head back… Skyhold will be awake soon.” 

 

“No! No! You’re right. Um. We should get ready anyway; we do have morning meetings to attend to.”

 

Ariya watched as her Commander strode off to the armory; she knew he wanted her, no matter how much she wanted him, it wasn’t appropriate for them to be intimate in the middle of the courtyard where anyone could see them. Ariya quickly placed the practice swords back on the racks. As she turned to face Cullen he quickly grabbed her hand and dragged her to the side of the building. He pushed her against the stone wall and placed a heated kiss against her. Ariya let out a small gasp as she took his lips. He ran his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her fiery hair back lightly exposing her neck. He bit gently against her sensitive skin and peppered her with kisses. Ariya moaned against him and wrapped her arms around his neck. 

 

“Cullen…”

 

He pulled himself back and walked around the corner of the armory. He looked around for a moment then quickly returned to her. He brought his hands to her chest and quickly unbuttoned her shirt. Ariya’s chest was heaving heavily from her excitement. She looked up along the battlements for fear that one of the guards would see them.

 

“Cullen maybe we should go back to our room? What if someone sees us?” 

 

He pulled apart her shirt then made his way to her leggings. Cullen slipped his fingers under the waistband and pulled them down in one quick motion. He placed his finger between her legs and pressed against her wet heat. Ariya moan under her rough touch and suddenly her worries were gone. Cullen began to rub against her in small circles as he nipped against her neck.

 

“No one will see us darling.”

 

Ariya bit her lip to control herself but the more Cullen rubbed her sensitive clit the more her core started to build with pressure. She wanted him. It’s okay if they made love behind the armory, no one was awake yet, right? Ariya took a hold of Cullen’s cheeks to make him look at her. His eyes were burning for her, she quickly crashed her lips against his and she fumbled her hands aroun his body to find his pants. She quickly unlaced it and pulled them down as fast as she could. She felt his straining erection press against her bare skin. Cullen took hold of her breast band and pulling them down to her stomach, causing her breasts to spill out. 

 

Ariya looked up at the battlements, the patrols still haven’t come this way, maybe they’ll be okay. Cullen pulled his hand away and Ariya let out a small whimper. He quickly pulled one of her legs free from her bunched up leggings around her ankles. Cullen slid his hands around her waist and lifted her up against the stone wall. Ariya let out a gasp as she felt his cock press against her opening. Cullen prompted her against his thigh and buried his hand between their bodies. He took himself in his hand and pressed into her hard. Ariya let out a scream and dug her nails into him back. 

 

“Shhh!”

 

Cullen pressed his lips against hers to stifle her cries. Ariya couldn’t help it, she felt full and her body was burning. The aching feeling between her legs needed to be released. As Cullen drove into her, Ariya wrapped her legs around his waist to drawn him in further. Ariya ran her fingers through his blonde hair and pulled against it. Cullen moaned in delight and bit her lip hard.

 

“Maker’s breath! Cullen!”

 

Cullen rested his head against the crook of her neck and thrusted into her faster. Ariya could feel her core building higher and higher. She was going over and her body started to tremble, and that was it. The release she had been waiting for, the aching feeling between her legs exploded, tingling all over her body. As Ariya’s walls contracted around his twitching cock, Cullen’s thrusts became erratic and finally his orgasm followed through. 

 

Cullen stilled inside of her and rested his head on Ariya’s heaving chest. A cool breeze hit against their flushed bodies. Ariya ran her fingers through Cullen’s hair and placed a kiss against him. Cullen slowly pulled out of her and let her down from the wall. As Ariya stood up, she stumbled forward and into Cullen’s arms. She began to laugh.

 

“What’s so funny?” 

 

“I bet I look like a mess right now.”

 

Ariya looked up at him and smiled. Cullen gave a small chuckle and cupped her cheek gently. He looked at her intently, the love in his eyes made her heart flutter. She loved that look, it was warm and gentle, like a protective spell, she felt so lucky.

 

“You’re beautiful, no matter what.”

 

“You’re not so bad yourself.” Cullen laughed as they got dressed.

 

“Well I should head off; I have some recruits to train. I’ll meet you in an hour with our Spy Master and Ambassador.” 

 

As Cullen turned Ariya quickly took hold of his wrist and pulled him back towards her. She took hold of his cheeks and kissed him deeply. Cullen hummed against her lips and placed his hands against her hips. 

 

“I love you.” Ariya whispered. 

 

“And I you.”

 

Ariya watched him as he strode off across the courtyard. She let out a sigh and ran her fingers through her red hair. She quickly tied it up in a bun and began to walk towards the great hall. As she turned to corner she was startled by the large Qunari standing in front of her with a huge grin on his face.

 

“Hey Boss, heading off to your morning meetings?”

 

“Uh, yeah. A-are you going to do your morning training with the Chargers?” 

 

They both turned and looked towards the Tavern as Krem stepped out. Bull scratched his scalp.

 

“Yeah the usual. Anyway you better head off or Red will have your head.”

 

Ariya gave a nod and walked passed Bull. As she was walking she could hear Bull shouting towards her. 

 

“Next time I would go to the basement library, no one can hear you down there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't wrote anything in awhile I've been busy. Anyway can you imagine shirtless Cullen helping you train? XD Damn I would not pay attention either LOL But this whole chapter needed to show that Cullen wanted to help Ariya get over her fears, to defend herself. That smutty part was just the tension between the because he's too sexy for his own good lol Also let's just say Bull heard them from behind the armory XD


	35. Stupidity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen's lyrium withdrawals push him to a breaking point. Ariya must take action.

Ariya headed down the battlements, papers in hand. One of Cullen’s men had given her a message that Cullen wanted to see her as soon as her meeting was over. 

 

“Ariya please meet with me as soon as you can.

 

-Cullen”

 

She was worried something might have been wrong. The way he worded the message seemed like there was. As she reached his tower she gave a small knock at the door. She waited patiently but there was no answer. Ariya gave another knock.

 

“Cullen? Are you there? It’s Ariya.”

 

She turned the handle and pushed the door open. The room was dark and low lit than it normally was. Ariya could barely see within the room. She called out for Cullen once again then she heard a groan from his desk. She casted fire in free hand and saw Cullen slumped over in his chair; papers scattered everywhere and a small bottle on his desk.

 

“Cullen?!”

 

Ariya dropped her stack of papers and ran towards him. She placed her hand on his burning forehead. Beads of sweat rolled down his temple and he began to wince in pain. The bags under his eyes were a deep purple. Cullen’s lips were dry and his breathing was short and raspy. Ariya lit some candles on his desk to brighten the room. She saw the mysterious bottle on his desk and picked it up. She inspected it closely then finally pulled the cork from it. She gave it a sniff, lyrium. What in Thedas was he doing with a lyrium bottle? She looked back at Cullen then back at the bottle. Thankfully it was full, he didn’t use it. She placed the bottle back down and returned her attention to her Commander.

 

“Cullen? Can you hear me? It’s Ariya.”

 

Ariya brought her hands together and casted an ice spell, just enough to cause her skin to be cold. She brought her hands to his temple and began to massage his skin. She could feel him begin to relax and his breathing steadied itself. After a few moments Cullen slowly opened his eyes and reached out and placed his hand on Ariya’s hip.

 

“Maker’s breath, Cullen… You scared me. Are you okay?”

 

“I’m alright.” He shifted in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Today wasn’t a good day unfortunately.”

 

Ariya sat herself on his desk and looked towards the bottle.

 

“Why do you have this lyrium bottle?” 

 

Cullen looked at Ariya then at the bottle. He let out a sigh and hung his head in shame.

 

“I… We’re just so close to finding Samson, I didn’t want to waste any more time because of my… condition.”

 

“What?!”

 

Ariya got up from his desk and began to pace around his room angrily. He was thinking about using lyrium? Knowing the complications he could run into. Ariya stopped in front of his desk with her arms crossed against her chest.

 

“Cullen how could you be so foolish?! You could have…”

 

Ariya’s anger turned into sorrow. She wanted to scream and yell at him for being stupid, but at the same time she couldn’t. It was stupid yes, but all Cullen was doing was trying to work. He was over working himself and Ariya never stepped in to stop him, especially since he was working on finding the Red Templars.

 

“This is all my fault…”

 

“What?”

 

Cullen slowly got up from his chair and walked to Ariya. He placed his gloved finger under her chin and lifted her head. Ariya could see he was still in pain, he looked older and all because of the stupid lyrium she was taking in her Templar days. She hated how much the lyrium was affecting him. Who’s stupid idea was it anyway to ingest the stuff? Curse them.

 

“How is any of this your fault?”

 

“You’re working so hard because of me. Because of those vile men who attacked me. You’re pushing yourself more than you usually do to capture them. Not only because of Samson and his Red Templars, it’s because of me Cullen.”

 

Ariya wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. She felt him sigh against her neck as he slid his hands to the small of her back. 

 

“Ariya… None of this is your fault. This is my own stupidity. I have been overworking myself, and I will admit it is mostly for you. But that does not mean it is your fault. I promised you I would never let alone hurt you again; of course I want to find them even more now.”

 

She nuzzled into Cullen’s shoulder, brushing her skin against the fur of his armor. Ariya could feel her heart breaking. She still felt guilty over it, she also gave him a promise to take care of him and help him through his lyrium withdrawals. Ariya pushed off of him and placed her hand against his cheek. Cullen’s eyes were dull looking. They weren’t bright and beautiful like they always were. The crisp colour of his golden eyes wouldn’t shine through. He was exhausted. Ariya kissed him gently and then gave him a stern look.

 

“Commander Cullen I am reliving you of your duty until further notice.”

 

“What?” Cullen’s eyes narrowed in confusion.

 

“As leader of the Inquisition, I Ariya Trevelyan, am reliving you of your duty until further notice.”

 

“But Ari-“

 

Ariya brought her finger to his lips.

 

“Cullen you need a break. I don’t care what you say. I will have Ser Rylon attend to your duties for now.” Ariya placed both her hands on his cheek. “Please Cullen. I promised you all those months ago that we would find Samson and his Red Templars. I promised you we would stop them. But I also promised to take care of you through this and I’m not allowing you to overwork yourself to the point where you’re thinking about… taking lyrium again.”

 

Ariya waited, waited for him to say anything. He was still in shock over what she had said. Then finally his face softened and he gaze shot down to the floor. 

 

“Alright…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn the lyrium ): But Cullen is probably one of the hardest working members in the Inquisition. 
> 
> Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far!


	36. For Luck

Ariya pushed opened the doors from the war room and saw Cullen leaning against the stone wall. As soon as he saw her he immediately straightened himself out and smiled at her. Leliana and Josephine exchanged glances at each other then quickly headed down the hallway. Ariya glared at him.

 

“Good morning darling.”

 

Ariya crossed her arms against her chest and narrowed her eyes. Cullen stood there smiling at her.

 

“Cullen. You’re on a break. That includes being in on the meetings.”

 

He gave a chuckle and placed he hands on her hips. He pulled her in drew circles into the fabric of her shirt. 

 

“I’m not here because of that, you’ve made that clear to me yesterday. I’m actually here because… well there’s something I would like to show you, if you have the time of course.”

 

Ariya looked at him curiously. She dropped her arms and placed them on his.

 

“Is something wrong?”

 

“What? No! It would make more sense if I show you.”

 

Ariya looked down the hallway. Josephine and Leliana were discussing something at her desk. She really didn’t have to attend to anything at least for another few hours, she’ll be fine. She turned back to her Commander and smiled.

 

“I have some time now.”

 

“I’ll make the arrangements.”

 

\--

 

The sun was setting along the horizon and Ariya still had no idea where Cullen was taking her. He insisted on calling for a carriage for her so she would be comfortable but she refused. Ariya loved riding on horseback and the chargers that the Inquisition had were the best. Along with their horses, Cullen brought a few of men along just in case of an attack. Ariya could tell this wasn’t ideal for him but they couldn’t take any chances. She patted her charger on the head and looked over at Cullen.

 

“Where exactly are we going?”

 

“You’ll see. It’s a surprise.” He grinned.

 

Ariya turned back ahead. She was starting to recognize the environment around them. They passed by a small farm with a few familiar houses. They were in Crestwood. Why was he bringing her here? They stopped by the windmill. Cullen handed the reins of the horses to one of his men and told them to secure the area. He took Ariya’s hand and led her down the small pathway. 

 

“Watch your step here.”

 

She clung onto Cullen with both hands and tip toed her way down the steep hill. The path was slippery and wet. There was tall grass surrounding the area and there was a mist in the air. It smelled like it had just rain. As the travelled down the path, Ariya could hear water. Cullen pushed the tall grass aside and led Ariya through. When Ariya looked up she let out a small gasp. It was a lake. A beautiful, blue lake. The sun had already set; a few fireflies had already come out. Cullen turned back towards her and gave her a wicked smile.

 

“Not what you were expecting?”

 

“Maker no!”

 

Cullen laughed and led her over the docks. They stood there in bliss listening to the sounds of the crickets and water rushing by. Cullen stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Ariya smiled to herself and closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of the lake and Cullen’s breathing. 

 

“What are we doing here?” Ariya asked.

 

“You walk into danger every day. I wanted to take you away from that, at least for a moment. I grew up not far from here. This place was always quiet.”

 

Ariya looked up at him and smiled. 

 

“Did you come here often?”

 

“I love my siblings, Maker knows I do, but they were very loud. I would come here to clear my head.” Cullen shook his head and laughed to himself. “Of course, they always found me eventually.”

 

Ariya rested her head against his chest and watch him. Cullen looked content. Despite the fact he was dealing with lyrium withdrawals he looked well. That scare had Ariya on edge the entire week; she actually began to blame herself. Was she pushing him so hard with all the work the Inquisition was giving him? He was so pale, shaking, and lifeless. Never again. The Cullen she sees now is how she wants him to be, peaceful and happy.

 

“The last time I was here was the day before I left for my Templar training. My brother gave me this.”

 

Cullen unhooked his arms from Ariya’s waist and took a step back. He rummaged around in his pocket and pulled something out. Ariya   
looked at his hand curiously, when he opened his gloved hand he was holding a silver coin. Cullen smiled as he looked at it.

 

“It just happened to be in his pocket, but he said it was for luck. Templars are not supposed to carry such things; our faith is to see us through.”

 

Ariya crossed her arms across her chest and gave a sly smile to him.

 

“Maker’s breath, Cullen Stanton Rutherford was breaking the rules?”

 

Cullen laughed as he shook his head.

 

“Until a year ago, I was very good at following them… well most of the time.” He looked back at the small coin in his hand. “This was the only thing I took from Fereldan that the Templars didn’t give me.”

 

He paused for a moment then looked up at Ariya. He reached out and took her hand in his. “Humor me.” Cullen then placed the coin into her hand. “We don’t know what you’ll face before the end. This can’t hurt.”

 

Ariya looked down at the coin. Silly as it may be it was sweet, the sweetest gesture any one has ever given her. She knew Cullen grew warry the closer they got to finding Corypheus. He was even more so after her attack.

 

“I’ll keep it safe, I promise.”

 

Cullen reached out and took her by her waist and pulled her close.

 

“Good… I know it’s foolish but I’m glad.”

 

He rested his forehead against hers and held her tighter. Ariya wrapped her arms around his neck and took in this moment. 

 

“Cullen… I am so lucky to have you. Maker only knows how grateful I am to have you in my life.” 

 

She placed her hand against his stubble cheek and smiled at him. She pulled him in for a sweet kiss. Ariya felt her heart flutter, that feeling she would never tire of. As they broke apart Ariya looked over to the lake. She then turn back to Cullen then gave a great big devious smile. Cullen raised his eyebrow at her and gave her a confused look.

 

“Take off your armor.”

 

“I-I… W-what?”

 

Ariya quickly pushed off him than began to remove all of her armor and clothing off her body while Cullen stood there blushing wildly. She slipped out of her small clothes and ran off the dock and jumped into the lake. As her body hit the cold water, Ariya let out a small yelp as she rose back up for air. Cullen was still standing there staring at her embarrassed. Ariya pushed her red hair away from her face and waved at him to come into the water.

 

“Cullen what are you doing?! Get in here!”

 

“But-“

 

“I thought you enjoy breaking the rules with me.”

 

Cullen gave a defeated sigh then started to strip off his armor. He jumped off the docks into the lake to join Ariya. She screamed and giggled as the water splashed on her. She swam towards Cullen as he surfaced for air. They kissed and laughed together. Cullen wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close. His eyes changed, he gave a serious tone to his expression.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Ariya raised her eyebrow.

 

“For what?”

 

“Looking after me. I-“

 

He looked away then he began to blush. Ariya could feel his grip on her hips tightened. He looked like he wanted to say something but he held his tongue. Ariya held out her hand and placed it against his cheek. She brushed his wet skin and tilted his head back.

 

“What is it?”

 

“It’s nothing, I’m just very happy I’m here with you.”

 

Ariya wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close. If Ariya had learnt anything about being the Inquisitor it was taking responsibility. She was to lead a group of people to protect everyone in Thedas. That included him. Protecting the light in her life meant more to her than her own life. Even after all she has been through, she would rather go through it a thousand times over than to see Cullen wither away from lyrium. 

 

He needed a break; they needed a break, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeeey long time no chapter, I'm sorry lol I hope you all enjoy, we're almost at the end :) You know what's one thing I love about Cullen? He could be in a relationship with the Inquisitor for 2 years and he'll still be an awkward turtle around her, it's so adorable XD


	37. Welcome

Ariya watched the dust float through the rays of light beaming through the small window on the stone wall. This place was starting to get filthy she thought, maybe she should call someone over to clean up the place. Ariya sat herself a top the desk and waited patiently. It was dawn and she was actually up before Cullen. But then again maybe it was she was nervous. She barely slept at all. Ariya twisted her finger through a strand of her red locks as she bit her lip. 

 

Today was the day Cullen would come back into the Inquisition as their Commander, but was this too soon? A part of Ariya wanted to ban him from this job forever, to keep him healthy, keep him happy, keep him safe. But she couldn’t any longer; things were getting too hectic as it was. Cassandra, who has taken over a few of Cullen’s tasks, suggested it during one of the war meetings. 

 

\--

 

“Inquisitor we need Cullen back as the Commander. Some of his men are starting to fall behind and we cannot allow that to happen, not now.”

“Cassandra is right.” Leliana chimed in. “We need him at our side. With what Morrigan has given us and what information you have found, we are so close to Corypheus and even Samson.”

Ariya wanted to tell him no and never to speak of it again, but she held her tongue. After the lyrium scare all Ariya could think about was losing him. She braced both hands on the table and took in a breath.

 

\--

 

She understood. This was their duty, his duty. It’s not over till the fight is and sadly it isn’t. Corypheus was still out there, Thedas was at each other’s throats and Sasmson was running wild like those corrupted Templars. She promised Cullen they would find him and so she must keep it.

 

“Ariya?”

 

She shook her head and looked over at ladder to see Cullen climbing down a step at a time. His beautiful blonde hair was a mess and his white tunic was ruffled. He looked like he wrestled a bear in his sleep. Ariya smiled to herself as he walked over to her rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

 

“You’re up early. Everything okay?”

 

Ariya gave a small nod then let herself be wrapped around his warm embrace. She held onto him tightly as they both stood there in silence hugging one another. Cullen ran his hand along her spine and kissed the top of her head.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Ariya knew he knew. He always knew, she could be laughing with tears in her eyes but Cullen always knew the truth of how she really felt. He would always see her heart. Ariya held onto to him a little tighter and tucked herself under his chin. She wanted to tell him no. To stay here and be safe. To relax and no worry about anything. To be alive. But she couldn’t, they needed him out there, out with the men, out where the danger was. Ariya could feel her eyes begin to water. Why was she crying?

 

“Ariya…”

 

Cullen released her from his embrace and took her cheeks in his hands. He wiped the tears falling down her face and smiled so sweetly at her. 

 

“Nothing will happen to me. I know that’s why you’re worried. I know I scared you weeks ago, but that’s not going to happen, not while you’re here.”

 

How does it know? For all they know something terrible may push him into using lyrium again, to serve, to protect. It was wrong. Ariya was starting to lose control over herself. She tried to blink her tears away but they just kept falling over and over again. Yet Cullen was there to catch and brush them away.

 

“I will not make that mistake again. You have my word. I will never put myself in danger again, not on your expense.” 

 

Cullen captured her lips and held onto his promise for her. Ariya had to believe, she had to say a prayer for him, for she was sending her heart into battle. Cullen wiped the rest of her tears and held her for a moment longer. 

 

“Maker watch over you.” Ariya whispered. 

 

Ariya could feel Cullen sink into her, like he was soaking up what she had just said. As the pulled apart Cullen walked over to his armor stand and began to lift the pieces of the rack one by one. She watched him as he put on his boots, his chest plate, and his sword belt. Cullen threw his furs over his shoulders and combed his hair back. 

 

“Wait.” Ariya said as Cullen reached for his gloves.

 

She circled around his desk and picked up his leather gloves. They were worn, really worn, from his hard work. The long hours he would spend sitting at this desk planning and writing out the attacks the Inquisition had to make. The movements he had to follow and the men he had to lead. The men he trained and the countless hours he spent fighting with a sword and shield in his hand. 

 

Ariya looked up to see Cullen staring at her waiting for her to say or do something. She began to pull each glove over his calloused hands. She tied his bracers around his wrists and made sure every strap was put on properly. He looked different this time. His eyes weren’t as dark nor did they carry the heavy bags. She could see his bright honey eyes shining through. His skin was pink not pale and clean shaven. She could feel he was well and in a way made her feel comfortable about letting him back. He was strong, he was brave. He was handsome, her handsome Commander, her Cullen. 

 

“Welcome to the Inquisition, Commander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't been writing much, my mental health has been really bad for the past few months so I needed a break. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter! Almost at the end :)


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